In the Blood
by Yaoi-Expert
Summary: So let me get this straight… I killed myself only to be reborn into the Naruto universe into the SHITTEST NINJA VILLAGE EVER CREATED! Could I just stay dead? Please? Semi-self insert OC story, ALOT of swearing (rated T), yaoi in shippuden read to learn more!
1. Fuck my new Life

In the Blood

Chapter 1: Fuck My New Life

I never wanted to come back. That's why I killed myself; I had simply had enough of my pointless monotonous existence. Unfortunately, for me, I was too sinful for heaven and hell didn't want me so I was spat back into living. Goody. Then again, maybe this is hell, torturing me with life again. Could I just stay dead? Please?

'Fuck you universe!' was all that ran through my mind as I saw light. I could hear agonising screaming. A woman? OH HELL! I'm being born… **_EWWW!_**

I felt muscles around me contract forcing me out. Then it was fucking freezing! I started to curse about how cold it was but all that left me mouth were screams. **I CAN'T EVEN SWEAR!** This must be hell.

There are lots of people, I'm assuming doctors and nurses, and I'm quickly wrapped up in a blue blanket so there's a high possibility I'm a boy this time. This is getting and better… NOT!

The blankets around me are warm and tight as I am passed to a woman with pale purple hair and tired but happy electric green eyes. She holds me close to her pale skin whispering softly in an unknown language. On top of it all I HAVE TO LEARN ANOTHER LANGUAGE!? This is definitely hell!

A man leans over my apparent mothers shoulder; his hair almost black blue and his eyes a pinkish red while his face is lit up with a dopy grin. I stare in horror. Not at them but at the thing around my apparent fathers forehead. Please, for the love of all things unholy,**_ YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!_ **A fucking forehead protector.

The symbol is one I know little about, three angled slashes… The Village Hidden in Hot Water. 'Yugakure'. The village that has forgotten war, or at least will soon. I'm not sure of this is a blessing or a curse…

I scream in frustration coming out as a baby cry as I swear the colours of the rainbow until I am blue in the face.

So let me get this straight… I killed myself only to be reborn into the Naruto Universe into the _**SHITTEST NINJA VILLAGE EVER CREATED!** _This sucks cock. Why not a good village like Mist of Stone? This is truly hell.

Apparently, crying takes it out of me as I feel myself become exhausted and my eyes begin to droop. I hear the jibberish cooing of the strangers that I'm going to have to call my parents. The world falls into darkness. Fuck my new life…


	2. Boobs, Bottles and Shit!

In the Blood

Chapter 2: Boobs, Bottles and Shit!

This life is a cruel joke. FACT!

Apparently I still have the female mindset of my past life so when feeding time came around I was horrified as the woman flashed herself at me and proceeded to try and make me 'latch'. COMPUTER SAYS NO! THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I'M DOING IT! I'LL DIE FIRST! I feel my insides churn with hunger and disgust. I will not cave. I'm not doing it!

My mothers shocking green eyes look into mine with worry. She can tell I want to eat but doesn't understand why I won't. I know I'm a boy now, my suspicion confirmed when I was changed… The embarrassment of having to be changed, I'll never be able to look them in the eyes again. Just because I'm a boy now doesn't mean I like boobs anymore that I did when I was a girl. I guess it'll come when I get older… mmm… I think I can wait for that day to come.

Once again there is a boob in my face and I clamp my mouth closed. YOU SHALL NOT PASS! She sighs and puts herself away, thanks whatever god is fucking with me, and sways me in her arms while her eyes watch me with concern and yearning to understand so she can fix the problem.

I have two words for you hun, BABY. FORMULA! Your milk dispensers are a completely LAST resort and I'm not that desperate yet. Yet. Please figure it out before I become desperate.

I can hear a door open and my… male creator… comes in with his dopy smile and a bag. They dispense their jibberish pleasantries, the boob pusher expressing concern in her voice as she looks down at me.

I'm not sure how long it's been since I've eaten, but judging from her expression quite a while for a newborn. He smiles down at me talking once more before rooting around in his bag and pulling out a bottle. HALELUYA! GIVE THE MAN A COOKIE!

I squirm in the woman's arms, reaching out for the bottle letting out gurgles and happy squeaks. I watch him make up a bottle, making sure he doesn't fill it with human moo juice. Three scoops of yellow powder, warm water… I'm so hungry it's like food porn. FEED ME SEYMORE! He hands the bottle to the woman after testing the temperature on his hand. Cautiously, she puts it near my mouth. I need no encouragement as I drain that bad boy.

It tastes like shit but fuck the flavour, anything will do, EXCEPT BOOB JUICE!

Her green eyes light up as I drink, giggling with relief and cooing in a mummy kinda way, her husband doing some sort of dodgy victory dance. I nearly choke as he shakes his booty, formula nearly coming out my nose as I laugh while drinking.

I think I could grow to like them… as long as she stops with the breast thing…


	3. My Brain is Decaying!

In the Blood

Chapter 3: My Brain is Decaying!

My life is on repeat. Unlike a normal baby who has an attention span of a concussed goldfish, I still have the attention span I had before being reborn, as well as my memories. Oh sweet memories of freedom… the taste of alcohol, the scent of wacky baccy from my sister's room on the weekend… sex… oh how I remember sex… I have a _long_ wait until I can experience that again, if I can ever face a woman to do it. Fuck the eternal genin; the eternal virgin is a fate worse than rebirth!

Anyways, as I said my life is on repeat. I wake up to the same sole destroying thing… the cold, squishy feeling in my nappy that fills me with shame and embarrassment as my 'mother' changes me, bathes me and dresses me cooing her nonsense language at me before the bottle. After a few futile attempts with her fun bags, she gave up and finally accepted her tits are a no go so I'm now firmly on the bottle. After that I am played with, brightly coloured toys and stuffed animals are put in front of me and moved while my 'mother' makes silly noises, I've taken to glaring at a particular blue stuffed rabbit with crazy eyes, however I think the woman has mistaken my glares of hate as affection so wherever I go the stupid rabbit comes too. The second I have better motor functions I AM decapitating that rabbit and ripping of its eyes,

After playing I'm fed again and put down for a nap from which I wake up as I did in the morning and have to be embarrassed once more. _**CURSE MY LACK OF CONTROL!**_

More play follows and sometimes we go outside! It's sad when the highlight of your day is clouds and grass. I'm fed again and my 'father' comes home then plays with me. He pulls faces at me and dances around like a complete idiot. I'm then bathed, fed and put to bed.

In short my life is **BORING!**

What's worse is I have no idea where I am in the plot as this useless fucking village isn't mentioned until Shippuden and then you get shit all information about it. For all I know Naruto is already a genin or not even born yet! **I HAVE **_**NO**_** IDEA!** This. Sucks. Cock!

Recently the woman has been pointing at herself saying 'kaa-san' which I have worked out as mum or mother. To shut her up I am trying to copy but it's a slow process. I've learnt a lot though. Apparently, a baby's brain is like a sponge for absorbing information so I have worked out a lot of the language making understanding this new life a little easier. My 'kaa-sans' name is Mokoto and my 'tou-sans' name is Akiku. I've been born into a small clan but that's all I know as far as my heritage.

Oh yeah, one more thing I've learned is my new name. 'Junketsu' which after fuck knows how long I worked out means 'pure blood' _**WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT?!**_ I have no idea what they were thinking when they named me, maybe they're sadists or something dodgy? Fuck this, I can't change it so I'll have to live with it… for now.


	4. Growing up

In the Blood

Chapter 4: Growing up

I've been in this world for around four years now so have a firm grasp on the language so it's like second nature now though sometimes I forget and speak English, which gets me some weird looks. Well EXCUSE ME, can't a kid speak in an unknown language and NOT get weird looks?! No? Shit.

Anyways…

My intelligence is what would be called 'freakishly fuckin high' for someone my age, having a mind far older than your body tends to do that, my 'parents' are thrilled as they think I'm a prodigy. Also on the parent front, I've grown… accustomed to them but… I don't think them as parent's… maybe a distant aunt and uncle but I just don't see them that way. Don't get me wrong I care about them, I just can't bring myself to love them the way I loved my other parents… is that bad?

Through all the shit that is my new life there is a bonus. I have a _kekeigenkai!_ It's nothing special like Sharingan so I was a little put out, but it's not entirely bull either. I can control my blood!

What I mean is I can 'eject' my own blood from my body and use it as an attack or defence. It has some drawbacks like poision and the act of 'ejecting' but once you get over the 'I puke up my blood' thing, it's pretty cool. So far I've only learnt the theory and how to use it in my body, tou-san saying I'm too young to use it effectively right now… _PFFT!_ If only he knew I'm actually about 25 mentally I got it from his side of the family, the Makka Clan, which means 'deep red' so my name is isn't as weird as I first thought, more a sign of my clan's ability. Junketsu Makka.

As I've grown I've found out what I look like. My hair is a dark but bright purple and my eyes are the same pinkish red as my tou-sans. I'm very… feminine looking as my skin is milky and my eyes quite large but my kaa-san says I'm cute to which I can only pout. _**I'M NOT CUTE! **_However I could beat Deidara on the girly award, even with his blonde locks!

Today is a big day for me. I'm starting the academy… Joy… My kaa-san is fussing over me like a prised doll, brushing my hair, straightening my mesh undershirt, tightening the red belt over my purple shirt and checking me all over. The finale of her dress up session is a necklace with our clan symbol of a swirl with 3 varying in size dots within it._** I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING BARBIE!**_ I sigh, as she runs her fingers though my hair once more. I know better than to voice my rainbow thoughts as first and only time I said 'Crap' infront of my patents my you-san fainted and kaa-san chased me like a demon from hell, promising a world of pain! Note to self: _**NEVER**_** PISS KAA-SAN OFF!**

Her fingers brush through my hair once more, she has yet to yield to the fact that it's fucking uncontrollable and **WILL** automatically go to its messy fluffy style the moment her fingers leave it…. JUST GIVE UP ALREADY WOMAN!

"If you keep messin' with ma hair we'll be late" I whine, having enough of being poked and prodded. She smiles at me lovingly before taking my hand and leading the way out of our home and towards the academy.

Around the village you can already see how Yugakure is starting to become a tourist friendly place. There are spas springing up while less and less shinobi are being trained, I being a clan kid automatically had a place in the academy but every year there are fewer and fewer genin.

The academy is small, having been downgraded recently for hotel space; this village really is going to the dogs. When we make it to the gates, kaa-san pauses to lean down and kiss me on the forehead "Be good alright, try and make some friends" her voice soft and motherly as her face lights up with a concerned smile. _**SHOOT ME I'M ANTISOCIAL!**_ I sigh and nod before heading in, feeling my insides tighten with slight nerves.

The classes are small, made to seem even smaller from the size of the classroom while Shin-sensei puts us in a seating arrangement, one student per desk. In total there are 12 kids in my class, 4 girls and 8 boys, all from known clans though I've never spoken to any of them. This. Is. Going. To. Suck. COCK!

Shin-sensei is alright, a little bipolar meaning one moment he's sickly sweet and the next he's throwing stuff at us, but he is mostly nice, MOSTLY.

His hair is white while his eyes are grass green, only highlighted all the more by his deathly pale skin, HE COULD GIVE OROCHIMARU A RUN FOR HIS MONEY IN THE PALE DEPARTMENT! GET SOME _SUN_ MAN!

We learn a lot of things, history, geography, muscle exercises, the theory behind chakra. All these things I know. I'M BORED!

With a sigh, I lean my head against the table staring at my wrist. More precisely at the veins in my wrist, focusing my chakra and making my blood run out of the veins, making them disappear before allowing the flow again making the fine blue lines reappear. I find it interesting how I can make my blood do as I want, though I want to learn how to eject it out of my body.

I sense something coming at me and move just in time to dodge a projectile piece of chalk "JUNKETSU-KUN! PAY ATTENTION!" Shin sensei shouts angrily, little red veins popping on his forehead. I sigh and look towards the board. This is going to be a LOOOONG day…. I hate the academy…


	5. Fan girls and Rainbow Vocabulary

In the Blood

**Chapter 5: Fan girls and Rainbow Vocabulary:**

Apparently, my boredom and natural ability for ninjutsu makes me cool… Just great… just what I always wanted… I'm so sarcastic it hurts…

As a result of my 'popularity' I have a female fan club, the 4 girls in my class leading the revolution and stalking me while the other girls from the other classes keep swooning whenever I walk past… creepy… I suddenly have sympathy for SASAUKE, and I hate that arrogant dick, **GET THAT STICK OUT YOUR ASS ALREADY BRAT!**

The thought sent horrified shivers down my spine. My complete lack of interest only seems to spur them on, going so far that I have to run away from them at break and lunch so I'm not hugged, confessed to or deafened by squealing. I am not exaggerating either! _**THESE GIRLS ARE CRAZY! **_What have I done to deserve _**THIS**_?!

The only bright side is that my chakra control is going to improve dramatically at this rate as I have to pump chakra into my legs to escape the crazy bitches.

Right now I'm running for my life, the girls hot on my trail as I force more chakra into my legs for speed, darting between trees in an attempt to lose them. I look back at them seeing how far behind they are~

_**CRASH!**_

I ran into something soft, sending whatever I hit and myself tumbling to the ground, my back slamming hard against the hard earth. That's going to leave a nasty bruise…

I hear cursing above me as well as a weight on my body "Fucking watch where you're fucking going fuck face!" the apparently male voice snarled. I looked up to see silver hair, magenta eyes and a dirty glare aimed at me. Oh no… **HIDAN!?**

How in the name of hell did I forget Hidan of the Akatsuki was from Yugakure!

_**I'M SO STUPID! **_

He's young, maybe 10-ish? His hair not slicked back and muscles nowhere near as defined as they are in Shippuden. The most shocking thing is _**HE'S WEARING A SHIRT!**_ Hell, I'd venture so far as to say the chibi zerlot is cute, even if he is glaring at me. Hold on… Did I really just call HIDAN cute? _**NO!**__ GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE FANGIRL STATE, BAD JUNKETSU, __**BAD! **_

The words 'fuck face' registered, snapping me out of my musings as I glare back "Who you callin' fuck face, ass hole!" I growled angrily. Before he could answer I heard squealing… oh no…

_**SHIT! THE FANGIRLS ARE COMING!**_

I shove the chibi Hidan above off of me, causing him to gracefully land on his ass, I don't even have time to laugh at his confused face as I start running again, managing to take refuge in a tree with low branches. **THE TREE CLIMBING EXERCISE WOULD BE USEFUL RIGHT NOW! DAMMIT!**

Hidan snarled and swore bloody murder as he stood up from his ass-planted position on the ground before spinning on his heel and aiming his untamed fury at the girls, effectively scaring them away. HOLY HELL THAT'S A LOT OF CUSSING! I let out a sigh of relief until his hate is aimed at me "OI! You little shit, get your fucking ass down here and say that again, I'm going to fucking kill you!" he ranted, to which I roll my eyes making his growl. "Go fuck yourself ass hole!" I hiss, pissing the zealot off as he released yet ANOTHER string of curses, and I thought **I** swear a lot. Chibi Hidan proceeded to climb the tree snarling about he's going to tear be limb from limb. Shit…

Should have known better than to piss the Jashinist off… but it's just so easy!

As he climbed up the tree I jumped out, running back towards the academy building, the swearing zealot in pursuit. As I neared the entrance I was jumped from behind, sending me toppling to the ground with Hidan above me, him straddling my hips to keep me in place and is about to knock my lights out with a well-aimed punch… I'm fucked…

"HIDAN-KUN! GET OFF JUNKETSU-KUN AND REPORT TO MY OFFICE!" Shin-sensei snarled. _**THANK YOU SHIN-SENSEI! I THINK I MIGHT LOVE YOU!**_

From the dirty glares Hidan and Shin-sensei shot one another, I think I can safely assume this isn't their first run in with one another. I am begrudgingly released by the zerlot who growles another 'fuck face' at me before stomping off into the academy. I look down at my dusty clothes and sigh. Kaa-san is going to kill me for getting covered in dirt.

**THANKS A LOT **_**ASS-HOLE!  
**_

* * *

_AN:/: Bonjourno! I'm Yaoi-Expert! and I just thought I'd give you the heads up that I do not update on weekends or bank holidays as those are the only times I can write chapters ahead._

_Also, cheers for all the follows and faves and stuff, they are appreciated._

_I won't write these often as they annoy the living crap out of me as I never know what to write… yeah… if ya want something feel free to contact me!_

_Cheers for the support! (Special thanks to AngelOfAnime97 who reviewed, I shall continue updating as I do not believe in not completing)_


	6. Test Results and Hot Water

**Chapter 6: Test Results and Hot Water:**

I've been attending the academy for about 2 weeks now. In this time we've done more tests than I thought possible! It's not like they're hard, far from it, they're a piece of piss. I don't feel challenged.

Shin sensei has noticed my frustration and has been teaching me more advanced things through break and lunch, as well as setting me harder home work but I still feel frustrated.

I'm staring at the clock at the front of the class, counting down the minutes until the end of the day. 5 minutes, 4 minutes, 3, 2, 1…

The bell rung and I shoved my stuff into my bag quickly and am about to make my exit when shin-sensei caught me. "Junketsu-kun, I need to talk with you" Talk with me?** FUCK**, what did I do?!

The room is empty as I stand before my sensei. "Did I do something wrong sensei?" I ask in a bored fashion. He stares at me for a moment before sighing "Far from it, I've finished marking your tests, you've got perfect scores , you're by far my top student... I feel that you're not getting anything out of my lessons…" I nod slowly, processing his words carefully...

Shin-sensei pulls a large envelope from the top draw of his desk before handing it to me "I want you to give this to your parents… I've organised for you to be moved to a more advanced class" I cautiously take the envelope. Advanced class? Sounds… interesting… I look up at shin-sensei and nod Alight before leaving, staring at the envelope all the way home.

The second my parents saw the envelope they thought the worst and sat me in the kitchen while they read, ready to scald me. THANKS FOR THE VOTE OF CONFIDENCE! They soon changed their tactic once they've read it, praising me for my achievement and telling me they are proud of me. HA, IN YOUR FACE DOUBTERS! Why does their kind words mean nothing to me?

Apparently, I start in my new class tomorrow… Joy…

The only highlight is Kaa-san made me sultana cookies as a reward. I LOVE SULTANA COOKIES!

Unfortunately, the sweet bliss that is kaa-sans sultana cookies doesn't get rid of the bitter taste of having to move class. It was going to be like the first day of the academy all over again except this time I won't be with kids my own age... I'M GOING TO DIE… **AGAIN!**

Fuck my life.


	7. YOU!

**Chapter 7: YOU!:**

Tomorrow is today and the tight coil of nerves in my stomach makes me want to puke. This is nothing like my first day of the academy…. I'm not scared… I'M BLOODY TERRORFIED!

Tou-san promised he'd train me after the academy in an attempt to make me feel better but to no avail. I feel like a condemned man as I walk to the academy with Kaa-san. I purposely dawdle to buy time to think up a way to get out of going but I know it's futile, kaa-san won't let me back out and will drag me there kicking and screaming if she has to.

The large building looms creating a lump in my throat that won't relent. Kaa-san kisses my forehead and tells me to be brave before sending me on my way. WHY DON'T I PUT YOU IN A CAGE WITH A RABID LION AND TELL YOU TO BE BRAVE!? Who am I kidding… the lion would run away screaming about how terrifying Kaa-san is… SHE'S REALLY THAT SCARY!

I walk through the bustling corridors nervously, passing my old classroom and shin-sensei and head towards the room specified in the letter. A teacher is waiting outside the room, his black hair long and outgrown, flowing over his shoulders while his milky skin made his shocking blue eyes all the more prominent. WHAT IS IT WITH THIS VILLAGE AS CRAZY PALE SKIN!? GET SOME SUN! His face is stern, schooled into a neutral mask and he wears basic shinobi attire. His eyes lock onto me and I tense. Apparently he's waiting for me… CRAP! Please don't let him be my new sensei!

A dark smile twisted his features as I approached, the door behind him matching the one specified. "So your Shin-Sensei's prodigy brat" he purred all too sweetly sending shivers darting up and down my spine. My involuntary shiver made his smile darken in some sort of twisted enjoyment… **WHY IS THERE A SADIST TEACHING CHILDREN?! **

Rude would be a bad tactic here, he looks about ready to eat me! "Hello, I'm Junketsu Makka, nice to meet you sir" It took everything I had not to stutter, though my voice is notably higher than usual... AT THIS RATE I MIGHT ACTUALLY SHIT MYSELF WITH FEAR! His deep blue eyes trained on me, apparently enjoying my panic. **EVIL MOTHER FUCKER!** Said eyes sharpened at my name "Makka… I am Usagi-sensei and from this moment on, your worst nightmare" he snarled before turning and entering the classroom…. First the evil stuffed rabbit and now the evil rabbit sensei… WHAT DID I DO TO PISS OF THE RABBITS!? I follow the sadistic man into my new class, standing awkwardly near my sensei "LISTEN UP BRATS, WE'VE A NEW KID IN THE CLASS, HE'S ONE OF SHIN-SENSEI'S LITTLE UP STARTS!"

He might as well have painted a target on me. All eyes were on me in a death glare… The class must be at least 9 or 10 years old… FUCK! I'M IN WAAAY OVER MY HEAD! I'm going to die. Whispers ran round the classroom. Words like 'little brat' and 'dead meat' hit my ears making my blood run cold. _**I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!**_

"YOU!" came a screech from the back of the room, magenta eyes glaring daggers at me. HIDAN!? _**YOU'VE GOT TO BE **__**KIDDING**__** ME!**_ I'm not going to die… _**I'M GOING TO BE **__**SACRIFICED**__** AND **__**MUTILATED**__** BEYOND RECOGNITION!**_

Usagi-sensei glared at the chibi zealot "Shut up and sit down" he snarled at Hidan who hisses **"LIKE FUCK I WILL!"** His shouted, voice laced with malice. The dark aura around Usagi-sensei grew, engulfing the entire room. Chibi Hidan flinched, feeling the killing intent and begrudgingly sat down.

I was sent to the seat at the front. Apparently, because I am such a 'squirt' I have to be at the front to see. IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M SHORT! I'M ONLY 5!

The day went from bad to worse. Usagi-sensei has it out for me, calling on me in lessons to catch me out. Thanks to my superior knowledge drilled into me by my parents and my own personal knowledge from reading and memories of the anime from my past life I kept up with relative ease. However this seemed to infuriate him even more. The more physical stuff of ninjutsu and genjutsu was no better as he made me run extra laps and trapping me in genjutsu after genjutsu which I had difficulty dispelling.

Weapons have never been my forte, something Usagi-sensei picked up on and twisted to his own sick sadistic advantage. Every time I missed the target I _became_ the target for Usagi-sensei's kunai and shuriken that came flying towards me at unbelievable speed making it nearly impossible for me to dodge. I'M NOT A HUMAN PIN CUSHION!

By the time taijutsu came around I was cut and bruised to holy hell, once milky skin blooming with back and blue markings, red streaks from where weaponry sliced into my skin... PLEASE DON'T LEAVE SCARS!

Usagi-sensei had a twisted smile on his face as he looked at me as I waited to have the living shit beaten out of me in a sparring match "Makka-kun in too deep? Why don't you just go back to your soft shin-sensei brat" I clenched my jaw. So that's what this is about? I have spent years training, long before I was in the academy so I could do this. I've been moved up a few years as a reward for my hard work, there is no way in HELL I'm going to dishonour myself by retreating. As much as it hurts, no matter how much I hate Usagi-sensei… THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVEN'T BEEN BORED SINCE I WAS BORN! I looked the evil bastard of a sensei in the eye, glaring hatefully, feeling my blood boiling under my skin trying to find an escape route "No fuckin way am I quitting, GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU SADISTIC BITCH!" I snarled… He's so lucky I can't eject my blood right now…

There was silence. Usagi-sensei and the other students stared at me in disbelief…

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU SURE TOLD SENSEI FUCK FACE!" Chibi Hidan boomed manically, a smirk plastering his face "about time someone else gave that fucker a piece of their mind, surprised such a small fuck did it though" he erupted into laughter again, weaving through the other students, his sadistic laugh cutting through the tense atmosphere. I'M A SADIST MAGNET! The chibi zealot upon reaching me threw his arm over my small shoulders pulling my into his rib cage tightly, nearly cutting off my air supply "You're a little fuck but I like ya brat" he purred and smirked down at me. CAN'T… BREATHE!

I could feel sensei glaring at us hatefully "DETENTION!" he snapped pointing at Hidan and myself.

Kaa-san is going to flip.

Hidan continued to smirk down at me as I squirmed to escape his death grip he has on my shoulders, managing to wriggle so I can once again breathe, SWEET OXYGEN!

… I am so screwed…


	8. Jashin's Devine Calling

**Chapter 8: Jashin's Devine Calling:**

I sat in detention, Hidan sprawled over the table beside me "Fuck Usagi-Shit head, the guys a prick, I should just sacrifice him to Jashin-Sama, Mother fucking heathen" the zealot quietly ranted beside me.

I never really understood the whole Jashin thing, what it actually stood for and stuff… I guess I'm in the company of the right person to find out… "Jashin?" I asked, politely confused. The chibi zealot looked at me "He's my god" he snapped. He's got to be bipolar. I nodded slowly "And what does Jashin do?" I questioned. Hidan's eyes lit up and a smirk crossed his lips "Listen up heathen! Jashin is the god of destruction and death. The Jashin faith is for those devote of heart! He is a strict lord and those that take up his name and do not fulfil their obligation to the religious dogma of the faith will suffer in the next world far fucking greater than anyone else, including those made into sacrifices to Jashin! With any sole claimed and punished by Jashin, the suffering of those that defile the faith of Jashin will be made to suffer by the followers of Jashin before they are permitted to receive their eternal damnation at the hands of Jashin!"

I nodded slowly, processing everything. For someone so… dense, he sure knows a lot about his religion and is passionate… even if it is a little scary coming from someone so young. His magenta eyes sparkled strangely "You should convert heathen; Lord Jashin always needs more followers to spread the word of his teachings and to show filthy fuckin heathens the errors of their ways!" He purred starting to get closer. I backed up nervously on the bench as Hidan creeped forward as the sparkle in his eye grew… THIS. ISN'T. GOOD! "I think… I'm a little young to follow something so serious?… don't ya think?… I mean… I'd only do a half-assed job~" I was cut off as Hidan near jumped me, trapping me against the wooden bench with his legs straddling my small body.

HELP, RAPE! PERVERT! … Hold on…help, rape, pervert… help rape a pervert… DAMMIT THIS ISN'T THE TIME FOR WEIRD THOUGHTS!

"It's best to start young, to show your commitment to Lord Jashin!" HOW DO I ALWAYS END UP ON MY BACK WITH HIM!

Whatever god is fucking with me threw me a bone as Usagi-sensei entered, forcing Hidan to relinquish his trapping and conversion of me though that strange sparkle hadn't left his eyes… Why do I feel that this isn't over?


	9. Trees and Secret Conversations

Chapter 9: Trees and secret Conversations:

Once detention was over, I was relieved to see tou-san waiting for me, letting me make a quick getaway before Hidan could continue his Jashin conversion treatment again. _**I DON'T WANT TO BE PINNED DOWN AGAIN!**_

Tou-san smiles goofily at me "I see your day was productive, new friend?" he asked pointing at the zealot youth who had accompanied me out of the academy before I made my quick getaway. I smiled "Sort of" That goofy smile spread. I've never been big on the socialising, even in my past life I found it difficult, maybe because I was considered weird or swore like a sailor, or maybe just maybe I _**FUCKING HATE PEOPLE AND SCARED THEM AWAYON PURPOSE!…**_either way I was antisocial so it was never easy, a trait that has been passed on to my new life so having a 'sort of friend' is very positive in tou-san's eyes. His goofy grin widened "ALRIGHT YOUNG MAN, TIME FOR TRAINING!" he cheered throwing his arms in the air and shaking his booty like a mad man. _**STOP **__**SHAKING IT I BEG THEE! **__**IT BURNS MY EYES!**_

I felt my cheeks flush crimson as people looked. I smiled nervously before punching him in the groin. Tou-san doubled over with anime tears in his eyes "WHY MY CHILD?!" he whined sadly. I smiled innocently, pulling my puppy eyes. Because of my feminine look I can pull it off. My father froze staring into my eyes for a moment before more anime tears waterfalls "YOUR SO CUUUTE!" I was pulled into his arms as he rubbed his cheek against mine "DADDY'S ADORABLE BOY! I KNOW IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, DADDY LOVES YOU SOOO MUCH!"

_**GET OFF ME YOU CREEPER, I DON'T WANT YOUR TEARY HUGS!**_

I smiled darkly; tou-san is too easy. "Tou-san? Weren't we going to train?" I asked sweetly, wanting to get as much training done as possible before I had to face the wrath of Kaa-san… that woman could make SATAN cry like a little girl…

We went to the clan training grounds where we stopped in a clearing littered with targets and the trees were marked where ninja tools and jutsu had been aimed.

Tou-sans usually goofy demeanour changed from fun loving daddy tou-san to training tou-san. Despite his normal personality, he is very serious when it comes to training, especially when I'm involved. "Junketsu, So far in your training you've learned the theory of our ability and how to control it within your body to stop bleeding out if wounded. Meaning your progressing so quickly, today we will be learning the basics of how to control your blood outside your body. It's going to require perfect chakra control to do so… today you're going to climb a tree using only your chakra"

I had been really excited until he brought up tree climbing. In the anime, I had watched Naruto repeatedly fall out of a tree and land gracefully on his ass while trying to master the technique… This is going to hurt. A LOT! Tou-san threw a kunai at my feet, which I picked up with a sigh.

I build up my chakra in my feet, trying my best to balance the warm substance_**. I JUST DON'T WAN T TO FALL FLAT ON MY FACE!**_ I gulped nervously before opening my eyes and running at a tree.

Surprisingly I didn't fall straight away. I made it a couple of meters before the bark beneath my feet cracked. I marked my spot before spinning mid-air and landing on my feet. I stared at my mark for a moment. Too much chakra. I sigh before trying again… IF THE KNUCKLE HEAD CAN DO IT I CAN TOOOO! Right?

The sun had long since set, I've been doing this for a few hours now and I'm making progress but it's hard. My muscles ache like crazy, it hurts more than when I was teething and trust me when I say, I SCREAMED THE FUCKING HOUSE DOWN!

Small beads of sweat ran down my face as I pant heavily. I can feel my muscles quiver under sheer effort of standing. I'm about to try again then tou-san stops me with a smile "That's enough for today, you've done really well, A lot of genin would have problems reaching the height you have" He giggled, eyes sparkling with pride. I wish it made me happy but it doesn't. I pant heavily but smile back none the less.

My legs give out under my weight and I fall to my hands and knees. I growl at myself as I force myself back up on my wobbling legs. Tou-san's shoulder length black blue hair sways in the breeze as he appears beside me, bundling my small body up in his arms. I squirm at first but I give up quickly, knowing it's futile. I allow myself to be carried, nuzzling my nose into tou-sans shoulder, his soft hair tickling my cheek.

When we arrive home Kaa-san is about to explode until she sees me bundled in tou-sans arms who smiles at her "the young mans had a busy day, climbed over halfway up a tree and made himself a little friend" he chirped quietly. I could hear the pride in his voice. But it didn't fill me with pride like it should have. I smiled tiredly none the less as I hear Kaa-san sigh "well, let's get you cleaned up and fed so you can go to bed… A tired ninja is a bad ninja" She takes me from tou-san. I see them share some sort of silent conversation with their eyes briefly but I'm too tired to care.

After a bath, having my cuts covered in ointment and a quick dinner I'm in bed. I can barely keep my eyes open as my parents say goodnight and turn out the light.

(POV change)

Juketsu's parents sat silently at the dining table "He's progressing far faster than we could have dreamed, a true prodigy" Akiku said proudly "If he continues at this rate, we could move the plan forward" his purred as his red eyes sparkled darkly. Mokoto nodded with a sad sigh "He's so young, we need to be careful" The two shared a look, silence once more enveloping the house.

_AN:/: _

_It's Friday so no new chapter till Monday guys!_

_Cheers for all the favourites, follows and reviews they mean a lot to me._

_A special thank you to __**PCheshire**__ who has been incredibly helpful in giving ideas of abilities Junketsu should have! YOU'RE AWESOME!_

_I hope you guys enjoy the chapter… you get to find out a little more about the blossoming friendship between Junkersu and Hidan…. NEXT CHAPTER! Sorry to those who hate to be kept waiting and/or cliffhangers but it lets me know you'll keep reading if only to find out what happens next!_

_HAVE AN EPIC WEEKEND!_


	10. Jashinist in Training?

**Chapter 10: Jashinist-In-Training?:**

Sore. That's how to describe how I felt when I woke up. Every muscle ached and protested as I moved. Kaa-san greeted me a normal, my breakfast already on the table as I stiffly made my way into the kitchen "good morning Junketsu, how are you?" she chirped happily, humming a soft tune. I smiled, quickly sitting down and eating, Kaa-san is a great cook and I'm not waiting for it to get cold. IT'S LIKE EATING NYAN CAT! "Sore thank you, yourself?" I said in my usual tone, chowing down quickly, every once in a while slurping down some milk. Kaa-san giggled; "slow down little man, you don't want to choke" I nodded, feeling a blush form on my cheeks "Hai, Kaa-san"

We were in a comfortable silence, her soft hum being the only sound. I finished my breakfast and stacked my plates neatly in the sink before Kaa-san handed me my lunch. I put on my sandals and we left.

As usual she left me at the gate with a kiss on the forehead. Unusually, I was rugby tackled by a chibi Jashinist who had apparently been waiting for me. I **DIDN'T** YELP LIKE A LITTLE GIRL! "Fuck face!" he greeted cheerfully, somehow having my small body over his shoulder. I squirmed in an attempt to escape. "My name isn't 'fuck face' ass hole, it's Junketsu!" I hissed but Hidan just chuckled. "Whatever fuck face" I'm pretty sure the bastard is smirking. I pout with a sigh "so why am I over your shoulder?" I questioned through gritted teeth.

The chibi zealot suddenly had a bounce in his step "Because I have decided that you fuck face, are a Jashinist-in-Training!" He announced proudly as I squirmed even more "WHAT!?" was all I could scream in my current state of UNADULTERATED HORROR, to which the Jashinist laughed "I know your honoured, I am personally going to save your fucking heathen sole, then we're going to rid this world of the fucking heathen scum!" He near cheered as he tightened his grip on my legs so there is no chance of escape. WHAT HAVE I GOT MYSELF INTO?!

Apparently, Usagi-sensei isn't over yesterday's little outburst as he glares at Hidan and I as we enter the class, eyes glinting with the promise of suffering. SADISTIC RABBIT! I take my place at the front of the class and Hidan follows, glaring at the original occupant of the seat next to me until they move. DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH HIM!

During class it's clear why Hidan is so dense…HE DOESN'T PAY ATTENTION! He sprawls out on the desk and stares off into space. Whenever Usagi-sensei asks him anything he either shrugs or gives a string of curses. HOW HE'S PASSED THE CLASSES SO FAR I WILL NEVER KNOW!

As soon as break rolls around I'm grabbed and dragged off towards a clearing "Alright fuck face! First lesson of Jashinism~" I sigh and cut him off "whoa there, I have a question!" the chibi zealot looks at me with a glare for interrupting him but signals for me to continue "How are you passing the class if you spend your lessons staring off into space?" Hidan's glare changes to slight embarrassment and confusion "What's it fucking matter?" I run my fingers through my fluffy purple hair "If you wanna be a good shinobi you need knowledge and you don't seem too interested in gaining this knowledge…" Hidan glares at a nearby tree "I've never been that fucking good at fucking book shit" he mumbled. I smile at him brightly, apparently catching him off guard from the look on his face. "It's settled, I will learn all about Jashinism… **IF** you and I spend time every day going over the basic stuff needed for being a shinobi!" I announced. At least I can help develop Hidan's ninja career and make him more of an effective shinobi, maybe he might not die at the hands of the pineapple head.

The zealot in question gives me a cautious look "Why you so interested in my learning?" he asked suspiciously. I tilted my head to the side innocently "meaning we're in the same class and all, when we become genin there is a chance we'll be on the same squad. I just wanna make sure you're not a complete baka, numb nuts" I smile sweetly at the last remark. The Jashinist was about to swear bloody murder until I caught him off guard with my smile making him freeze up… so this works on him too… he's going to be even more fun than I thought. The zealot blushes looking away mumbling that he agrees to my conditions. AWW! If only I had a camera… THIS WOULD BE GREAT BLACKMAIL MATERIAL!

Through break Hidan tells me about Jashinism in a passionately animated fashion. He really does love his religion… and dissing other religions… especially pagans… he seems to have a particularly dark loathing of pagans… scary.

As soon as break is over we're back in the classroom and being told theory behind ninjutsu before going outside and putting it into practice, attempting to make clones.

I sit on a large rock while Hidan starts making hand signs, creating a slightly dodgy clone of himself. Not bad for a first attempt but still not great either and it's face reminds me if the terrifying blue stuffed rabbit with the crazy eyes I decapitated aged 2… good times, the rabbit was asking for it. I have a giggle which makes Hidan cuss "LIKE FUCK YOU COULD DO ANY BETTER FUCK FACE!" he snarled defensively. Suddenly my smile changes to a dark one "wanna bet?" I purring in a sickly sweet fashion though Hidan didn't seem to notice the sly undertone in my tone "Yeah I fucking do, If you do fucking better than me I'll… I'LL WEAR A DRESS TO THE ACADEMY TOMORROW!" that's better than any money "deal" I smile sweetly, slipping of my rock into a standing position and make the signs Hisuji, Mi, Tora…

POOF!

4 perfect clones appear and I start to laugh manically "I look forward to tomorrow, HIDA-CHAN!" I giggled as Hidan's jaw hit the floor "HOW'D YOU DO THAT!" he screeched but by this time I'm literally rolling around on the floor laughing my fucking ass off, my hands gripping my sides they hurt so much. One of my clones sighs "Baka, I wasn't bumped up classes for a laugh ya know" As I gain control of my fit of giggles I dispelled the jutsu and stood straight "Bet you look good in a dress, you've got the legs for it" I giggled with a playful wink making the chibi zealot blush crimson. DAMMIT, ANOTHER BLACKMAIL OPORTUNITY WASTED!

Hidan got me back in Taijutsu practice by thoroughly kicking my ass. Sometimes quite literally… OUCHIE! He may be dense but my god he packs a punch. MY BRUISES HAVE BRUISES! I got a few shots in but I was seriously fucked through most of it, didn't help my body still hurt from the tree climbing yesterday… I'M NOT MAKING EXCUSES!

By the time lunch rolls around my skin was blooming with more bruises. I'M A DALMATION! WOOF!

We ate lunch under a tree before I pulled out my textbooks. I went over the basics, explaining chakra in a way that Hidan could understand as the instructors made it really wordy. We also looked at some of the history of our land and for the first time I saw Hidan taking an interest, even asking questions so I could explain. I also managed to get in a lecture about diet as I noticed that Hidan's lunch consisted of a lot of meat and not a lot else to which he cussed about veggies and compared them to rabbit food.

The day was finished off with weapons practice; thankfully Usagi-sensei was too busy harassing Shin-sensei to use me as a human target whenever I miss. Unfortunately Hidan notice my aim was poor so took the piss before showing me how to do it better.

The second lesson was over I was out of there, tree climbing exercises wait for not man… boy… girl reborn into a boy's body?…WHATEVER! I waved goodbye to Hidan before heading off with tou-san. I'm going to get it if it's the last thing I do!

Higher… CRASH!

Higher… CRASH!

Higher… CRASH!

Once more I fell from a potentially deadly height, only just managing to break my fall. I stare up at my latest mark… SO FUCKING CLOSE!

Once more…

I build up my chakra again, closing my eyes and calming my thoughts. I feel my chokra flood my body like a warm wave before I direct it down into my feet. I snap my eyes open and run for it

Higher, higher, higher, HIGHER!

I stop as I reach the top, balancing carefully while I continue to pump chakra into my feet… Beautiful…

The sun is setting over the village, creating black outlines of the buildings like shadows. I can safely say this is the most beautiful thing I've seen in this life. Tou-san appears behind me. "How's it feel to be on top of the world?" he asks softly as he crouched near my ear. I smiled tiredly "like I'm finally getting somewhere" We stayed there for several minutes, just taking in the view, the only sound being the soft twitter of bird calls.

Even though I'm not supposed to be part of this story, I can still try to be a good shinobi… I shouldn't try to change anything… but that doesn't mean that I won't change it unintentionally… who knows; I might have changed something already…

All I know is this life doesn't suck cock as much as my last one

* * *

AN:/:

YO! sorry this is late but shit happens, on the bright side quite a long chapter for me WOOT WOOT! BIG UP THE PERVERT!

hope you all enjoy


	11. Water and Blooming Friendship

**Chapter 11: Water and Blooming Friendship**

If I thought tree climbing was going to be a pain in the ass then water walking in anal rape with no lube!

It was funny when Naruto did it but now I'm doing it, IT. SUCKS. COCK!

I don't even have tou-san to give me a few pointers as he left for a mission this morning and won't be back for a few days, if I get this down by the time he gets back, I can be that one step closer to learning how to eject my blood

I'm standing beside one of the few natural hot springs that hasn't been taken over by a spa or resort staring into the water, my purple outer shirt, netted shirt and weapons neatly founded and stacked under a tree leaving me only in my black shorts, I'M NOT TAKING THEM OFF, IT'S INDECENT EXPOSURE!

I'm soaked through and I don't wanna do it again, I'm just going to fall in AGAIN! I glare down into the water before sighing in defeat and building up chakra in me feet, trying to balance it and alternate it before taking a step out onto the water's surface…

Balancing is hard and maintaining and alternating the flow of chakra is even harder… 1 step… 2 steps… 3 steps… 4~ ACK!

My concentration is broken and I fall with an almighty splash and a yelp. DAMMIT! I WAS DOING SO WELL!

I swim back to the surface and drag myself back onto dry land "fuck! Fuck! FUCK!" I hiss in annoyance. I know I'm doing something advanced for my age but COME ON! I mastered tree walking in 2 days for the love of hell!

Being this pissed off isn't going to help me, I need to relax… I sit on the grass nearby and cross my legs into a meditative position before taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, listening to the breeze rustling through the trees, carrying with it the gentle scent of blossom on the bushes around the village… I feel my heart slow, becoming a gentle beat…

I snap my eyes open; I'm going to get this!

Building up my charka once more I take a bold step out onto the water's surface, this feels right, maintain the flow and alternate it to the movement of the water. I walk towards the centre, my concentration unwavering… I think I've got thi~

"Fuck face!" came a familiar voice, my concentration breaks as does the surface of the water as I once again get an unexpected bath. DAMMIT!

I swim back up, hearing Hidan laughing his ass off as I yank myself out of the water "Hahahahahahahaha that was priceless!" He sniggered as I glared at him "I'm going to kill you… DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO DO THAT!? I WAS DOING SO FUCKING WELL!" I shout before pouting, crossing my arms across my chest. Hidan still laughing like a mad man and I growl… THAT DOES IT!

I lunge at him, tackling him to the floor making him cry out in panic as I channel chakra into my limbs for more strength and sit on him. Hidan smirks before fighting back as we tumble along the floor. The anger I felt not so long ago has fizzled out into amusement as we wrestle, the chibi zealot's arms wrapping around me and yanking my small frame into him, trapping my arms between us

We stay in place catching our breathes, me panting more than him as my stamina isn't as good as his yet before I hear a chuckle ripple through the zealots throat "for someone so fuckin small you're not bad at wrestling" he taunts me lightly, jabbing my side playfully with his spare arms that isn't holding me still. I half glare at him before sighing, "You wanted something?" I asked, shifting my eyes to meet his magenta. His smirk waivered a little as unsureness crossed his eyes "I, urr… I wanted to see if you were fucking busy and were interested in getting food or somthin" he said, voice further conveying his insecurity.

We haven't known each other long; it's not surprising he's unsure if we're friendly enough to do stuff outside the academy. I didn't know Hidan was capable of such an emotion, from the little of him you see in the anime you wouldn't think it was possible.

I can see his shoulders tense as he awaits my answer. I smile sweetly "Food sounds good" I chirp to which I notice the Jashinist's shoulders relax as he exhales lightly in relief. DAMMIT, LITTLE HIDAN IS SO CUTE…what? … Not cute cute, just cute slightly shy when it comes to friendship cute, HE'S NOT CUTE CUTE!

I grab my clothes and weapons, I can get water walking down later… friends need to come first sometimes.


	12. Yaoi Fan girls, BBQ and Perverts

**Chapter 12: Yaoi Fan girls, BBQ and Perverts:**

_****Time Skip****_

I have been attending the academy since I was 5 I am now 7 making 2 years in total. LOOK AT MY AWESOME MATH SKILLS!

I'm very advanced for my age and even considered advanced in my class of 11-12 year olds. All those hours of hard training haven't gone to waste. My genjutsu is just above average, my ninjutsu is great and my taijutsu is pretty good too after Hidan decided a Jashinist-in-training needs to be able to fight in close combat. Yes, I am still learning about Jashinism and it's not as terrifying as I first thought though it still freaks me out a little… ALRIGHT _**A LOT!**_

My weaponry… still sucks cock, however, I have shown a passable ability with kunai, shuriken and senbon, which was expected meaning I _**HATE**_ close combat. More importantly is my kekeigenkai. I can now eject my blood not only through my mouth but am quite good at ejecting through my skin, which apparently is something even tou-san has difficulty with. I've also started to build up immunity to poisons by taking daily doses to help out when using my kekeigenkai.

Hidan has also come along leaps and bounds. He's specialised his weapon to a basic scythe though he rants about how he's going to get one more fitting of his religion. He's mastered all the basic techniques after a lot of punches and blackmail with my secret weapon… the photo of Hidan in a DRESS! He'll do anything hide that. He's also improved academically since I've made him study and he does well on his tests though he still hates his veggies and insists he's a carnivore-only though kaa-san can scare him into eating them which I find hilarious to watch. It is safe to assume Hidan is terrified of her. WHO WOULDN'T BE!

Tomorrow is the genin exam. Like Konohagakure, tomorrow is a simple written test and a performance of a jutsu, though won't know which jutsu until tomorrow.

I'm sitting with Hidan under our usual tree; academy is over for the day so we're just enjoying the sun, Hidan happily talking about what kick-ass things he's going to do when he's a ninja and how many sacrifices he's going to make to Lord Jashin.

I myself am examining my purple hair. In the past 2 years my hair has gotten even more uncontrollable, having now manifested itself into fluffed out purple spikes which refuse to be tamed. I've even grown a sort of side fringe over most of my left eye though it's just as uncontrollable as the rest. I'M A PURPLE LION, HERE ME ROAR! …meow…

I go tumbling as I am suddenly rugby tackled, my back hitting the hard ground hard as I feel a weight on my body. I look up to see Hidan smirking down at me while his legs straddle my hips while his hands hold my wrists above my head. "I knew you weren't listenin' fuck face!" he laughed. His voice has got deeper, meaning he's 12 now I'm assuming puberty is hitting or is about to hit causing his change in voice.

I pout pulling my puppy dog eyes "I was thinkin' unlike you I have more than one brain cell so can afford to think from time to time" The chibi zerlot continued to smirk, he's become more muscular over the past 2 years so there's no chance of me escaping so I'm stuck. "With that pout you look as fuckin cute as a bitch" he purred while I glare at him. HE ALWAYS SAYS THAT TO PISS ME OFF! "You ass hole!" I growl at him, which makes him laugh. Apparently he's accepted 'ass hole' as a nick name, I guess I've kind of got used to being called 'fuck face' and it doesn't annoy me as much as it once did. Hidan stares down at me strangely, sometimes I wonder if he can tell I know more about this world than I should, that weird look he's giving me seems to hold some sort of knowing that I don't quite understand.

"YAOI!" Comes a fangirl scream from behind us and we both tense, titling our heads to see a pale blue haired girl. Yuki. We escape our play fight position on the ground quickly and she pouts "AWWW! DON'T STOP!" she's Hidan's age and in our class and rather OBSESSED with Yaoi, I can't blame her, in my past life my hobby ***cough*** obsession ***cough*** was watching ***cough*** stalking ***cough*** a little yaoi from time to time ***cough*** A LOT of Yaoi EVERY NIGHT ***cough*** ever since she caught us having a play fight with Hidan on top straddling my hips while we both panted heavily, she's stalked us taking pictures which look worse than they actually are.

Hidan growls "FUCK OFF YOU BITCH, NOTHIN' HAPPENED YOU LITTLE WHORE!" he spat hatefully. I've found Hidan doesn't really interact well with others and as a result, I'm his only friend. Our entire class hates him because of his language and disrespectful way to addressing everyone. They hate me because I'm younger than them and associate with Hidan. All I have to say is FUCK THEM!

Yuki giggles with a blush, amber eyes raking Hidan's form, it's obvious that even though she loves yaoi, she fancies Hidan. _**ALOT!**_ She's popular and has a taste for bad boys so fell head over heels for the local chibi Jashinist when he started his rebellious period of fighting and skipping class, dragging me with him yet keeping good grades. However, as obvious as it is to everyone else in the class, Hidan doesn't seem to notice her infatuation, in fact if anything, he complains about her the most, going so far as to paint her face on a target and aim his weapons at her, strangely enough hitting her eyes more often than not. PLEASE NEVER HATE ME, I LIKE MY EYES!

Hidan snarls angrily and grabs me, as I am spun and thrown over this shoulder "Go eat shit whore" he hissed before walking off rather quickly, from my place over his shoulder I can see her checking him out. I shiver averting my eyes. Being older than my body makes it weird, STOP STARING AT HIS ASS YOU CREEPY PERVERT!

Hidan uses the flicker technique and we appear in the main part of the village before he puts me down "stupid fucking bitch, nothing but a dirty little whore, one day I'll sacrifice her to Jashin-Sama" he muttered hatefully, a killer intent exuding off him. Last time he gave off such negative waves he nearly killed the guy, to this day he can't be a shinobi because of the damage inflicted. I shiver nervously "Hida ass hole?" I ask, snapping the zerlot out of his dark ramblings "yeah?" he asks, He likes it when I call him Hida anything, be it ass hole, kun or chan, he just likes it and normally made happy when I say it. I smile "wanna get somthin to eat, I'm starving!" I chirp. He smirks like usual and nods "HELL YEAH! I VOTE BBQ!" I giggle and nod. Hidan loves his meat.

We sit in the BBQ restaurant, watching ribs and slices of meat sizzle, Hidan practically drooling while eyeing the biggest rib. I smile and roll my eyes before stretching my arms above my head, feeling stiff from training earlier, I can feel a light click in my spine that feels like heaven and I purr contently, eyes closed. When they open they fall into magenta "hmm?" I hum in question which only gets a smirk. I shrug and roll my shoulders "you went so hard with me today, I'm sore" I complained about out earlier training, making Hidan snigger with a blush "sounds fucking dirty" he purred making me blush, in my past life saying the word p, pe…DAMMIT!… the male sex organ would have me passed out, I'm not much better off in this one though a hormonal and perverted Hidan is slowly desensitizing me to it.

I swear my sole just escaped from my mouth as I stare at him wide eyed flapping my mouth like a fish out of water. He can make anything dirty… I mean ANYTHING! I shake my head to clear my head before checking the meat.

The second it's done Hidan pounces on the large rib he's been eyeing. I take smaller bits humming absentmindedly while I eat. BBQ is messy and my fingers are coated in the sticky sauce but I don't mind, the best bit is licking your fingers at the end.

"What's got your head in the fuckin clouds fuck face?" Hidan asked out of the blue making me jump. He smirked at my reaction with a rib hanging out of his mouth to which I pouted as I sighed " I'm just thinkin bout tomorrow, If we pass there is a high chance that we won't be on the same squad and I hate everyone else in the class" I murmured then took a small bite of the meat. Hidan sighed "I don't like the fuckers either, if you're not on my team I'll end up fucking killing them" he growled before ripping flesh from bone and discarding the remains in a POOR RIBS DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE! "I guess" I smiled and quickly snatched up another piece of meat before Hidan could devour them all.

Licking my fingers, I twirl my tongue around every digit, savouring the taste; I love BBQ, not as much as Hidan but I really do love it. After many years of eating BBQ with the Jashinist opposite me I have got licking the remnants of BBQ down to an art form, wherever BBQ has touched my tongue will find. I look over Hidan who jaw has hit the table. I look at him strangely "What?" I question clumsily around my fingers. His cheeks burn up bright crimson "you're so fucking innocent sometimes" he mumbled, shifting in his seat and averting his eyes. I tilt my head in confusion. His mind must be a weird place.


	13. Peice of Piss

**Chapter 13: Piece of Piss:**

The morning was bright as I pulled on my clothes, Black shorts, mesh undershirt, purple long sleeved shirt with red lining, red fabric belt in a knot at the front around my hip but over my shirt, bandages around my hands and ankles, black sandals and clan necklace before I brush my hair through and put on my weapon pouch and shuriken holster.

I eat a quick breakfast and bolt out the door to Hidan's. He doesn't live far away and after a short run I'm knocking on his door. The chibi Jashinist answers, tapping on his sandals and pulling on his shirt, I have a feeling it isn't going to be long until he starts walking around half naked as he's always talking about how uncomfortable they are. If it was his choice, I think he'd be walking around completely naked.

We leave and have a pleasant stroll to the academy; the village is still sleepy as there are now more civilians than shinobi, which tells me this village won't be a shinobi village for many more years. If I'm lucky it'll last until I'm firmly into my teens but I have a feeling I'm just being optimistic. Hidan glares at the village, I guess he's come to the same conclusion "This place is turning into a shit whole" he growled. I sigh but nod none the less "kinda sad in a way"

As we arrive, there are already a few people waiting in the classroom. Usagi-sensei is once more harassing Shin-sensei who has his nose buried in a mountain of homework that's yet to be marked. I sit in my normal seat and check my weapons while Hidan swings his scythe around gracefully.

Once everyone is here Usagi passes out our written test. I'm not worried about this bit, I have a keen mind and I'm the most academic in my class so this shouldn't be so bad. Even Hidan will breeze this.

After 20 minutes of furious writing I'm done. We have another 10 to wait before this part of the exam is over so I lean back in my chair while Usagi-Sensei collects my written exam, marking it immediately. I watch his hand make little ticking motions over my work and I smile. BREEZED IT!

As the others finish up and we are allowed to talk Hidan smirks at me "That was fuckin' easy!" he laughed manically. I smiled "Yep, piece of piss" I giggled.

The room soon falls into quiet chatter, every few minutes a name is called for the second half of the test. I'm still not sure what it's on but I shouldn't have any trouble, I'm good at all the basic jutsu they can ask.

Hidan is called first and I wish him luck though we both know he doesn't need it. I wait in my chair quietly. Waiting.

The chair beside me is pulled out and I look to see Yuki beaming at me "Yaoi boy" she chirped happily. I feel my left eye twitch and a small growl rumble in my throat. I give her a glare before looking ahead trying to ignore her "AWW, don't be like that yaoi boy, I just wanna talk!" she whined, tugging on my sleeve like a small child. I continue to try and ignore her but she's too annoying "What the fuck do ya want?!" I hiss to which she smiles happily "To talk, silly!" She beams at me. I flinch away and mutter 'I wish ass hole was here to save me'. Her ears prick up at the mention of Hidan "Hidan huh? You 2 spend a lot of time with each other, like boyfriends" she poked making me growl, "WE'RE NOT GAY!" I hiss with a blush, she giggles happily "you sure? you spend a lot of time pinned down under him. You practically ooze sexual tension" she squealed happily. **SHE READS _TOO MUCH_ YAOI!** My jaw hits the table. "WE DON'T _OOZE_ SEXUAL TENSION BITCH, WE'RE _JUST_ FRIENDS" I yell.

Just before she can counter my name is called. _**THANK YOU GOD WHO IS FUCKIN WITH ME!**_ I make a quick exit into the neighbouring room.

Usagi-sensei and Shin-sensei are sitting behind a large desk, neatly covered in folded headbands. I look them both in the eye and smile "What you want me to do?" I ask softly and Usagi-sensei's eye twitches while he mutters brat. He's quickly hit my Shin-sensei who smiles back "You will perform the transformation jutsu for us, transform into Usagi-sensei" I nod then smirk "Do I have to include the stick up his ass?" I question with a snigger while shin-sensei has to hold the fellow chunin back from attacking me, his kunai already out of the holster ready to come flying at me. I laugh and make the hand signs quickly before a Puff of smoke and I transform into Usagi, down to the glare and evil smirk.

Shin-sensei smiles happily "You pass, come back tomorrow morning and you'll be put into your squad and assigned to a jonin" I'm handed a headband and I bow, releasing the jutsu and leaving.

The second I'm out the building I'm jumped by Hidan and sent tumbling, once again flat on my back "WE PASSED!" he cheered in my face the second he saw my head band, having already tied his own around his neck. I smiled and nodded. After a squirm I managed to flip out positions so I was sitting on him, legs straddling his sides while his hands sit on my hips so I don't fall off. I can tell he let me swap our positions but I don't care. I smile down at him brightly. His magenta eyes sparkle in the strange way they do and I giggle at the dopy smile that has settled on his face.

"SO CUUUUTE! UKE ON TOP!" we heard a girly squeal and a flurry of clicking sounds. I look up to see Yuki, frantically clicking the button on her camera, blood running from her nose and a blush on her cheeks, Her headband tied around her waist. THE CRAZY BITCH PASSED?! _**NOOOOOOOOOOO!**_

Hidan and I scramble from our positions on the ground and make a run for it, Yuki following shouting about how we don't need to be shy and how cute we are while Hidan threw a string of cusses back at her. Whatever god is fucking with me, _**PLEASE MAKE HER LEAVE US ALONE!**_


	14. 3's a Crowd

**Chapter 14: 3s a Crowd:**

In the morning after the exam, I am sitting in my usual classroom looking at the head ban. I decided to tie it around my right thigh above my shuriken holster. Hidan is sprawled across the table in boredom as Usagi-sensei looks over his list "ALRIGHT BRATS! AS YOU'VE ALL PASSED, I NEED TO TELL YOU YOUR SQUADS BEFORE I CAN SEE THE BACK OF YOU SO SHUT UP AND PAY ATTENTION, I'M NOT REPEATING MYSELF!" He hissed

I jabbed Hidan in the ribs making him sit up and pay attention. Please don't separate us. Usagi started listing off names and telling them their squad name. Every time a squad was announced I felt my insides tighten more. Please, PLEASE!

"Hidan, Junketsu~" Hidan and I both laughed happily in celebration "~ and Yuki, you will be team Aka" We both suddenly stopped celebrating and fell into a state of doomed depression, little storm clouds settling above out heads while Yuki was celebrating "YAOI!" Was all we heard. I'd have been fine with anyone… ANYONE BUT HER!

Hidan and I made good our escape at lunch, being told we'd meet our sensei afterwards. We jumped out the window before Yuki could follow and ran for our lives, looking for somewhere to hide.

We stopped by the river, sitting beneath a tree "I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT! OF ALL THE PEOPLE IN OUR SHIT CLASS, THE SUCUBUS WHORE IS WITH US!" Hidan ranted, swinging his scythe around angrily.

I flop down on the ground to lay on my back, staring up as the sky before closing my eyes, hands tucked under my head for support "We have the worst luck, Bet Usagi-Sensei rigged it to make us suffer" I mumbled in annoyance.

The bright light beaming down on my closed eye lids that made me see red was obscured. I pop an eye open and meet with magenta. Really close magenta. My other eye opens as I flinch in confusion "Hida?" I Ask, voice slightly higher than usual. He's close, too close, as in seriously violating my personal space. I feel his warm breath ripple over my face making me squeak nervously.

Hidan's face is serious and his eyes have that strange shine "I hate her, I'd be fine in just a 2 man cell with you… we don't need anyone else" he purred. I nod slowly, careful not to make too many sudden movements; he was so close we were practically toughing. He smirked down at me strangely…

"YAOI BOYS, OH YAOI BOYS, WHERE ARE YOU!" I heard not too far away. Hidan growled before pulling away releasing a string of curses. He let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.. I scrambled up from my laying position to standing just in time to See Yuki burst out of the bushes "HA, FOUND YOU!" she squealed happily. Hidan seemed to have a dark cloud over his head, shooting little lightning bolts as he glared at her. I laughed a little and she flinched, obviously feeling the dark aura aimed at her. I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly and a slight blush dusting my cheeks. I have no idea what's going on here…

We had lunch and returned to the classroom to find Jonin. Several stood at the front of the room. To say the least they were intimidating. Well, all but one…

"MY ADORABLE SON!" Tou-san squealed and he threw himself at me, arms open for a hug. I side stepped and he flew past me, hitting the closed door we had just entered through. I feel a vein on my forehead pop angrily "THIS IS NOT THE TIME TOU-SAN!" I shouted and tou-san whimpered, waterfalls of tears gushing "But, but, WHY MY DARLING BABY BOY!" suddenly he flickered from where he was to my side, Yanking me into a hug as he rubbed his cheek against mine "WHY ARE YOU SO DISOBEDIENT, WHO HAS POISONED YOU AGAINST YOUR LOVING DADDY?!" He near screamed. MY POOR EARS! I THINK I'M DEAF!

Everyone was staring, the jonin were looking at him like he was crazy, the ones who knew him, slapping their hands over their faces, embarrassed for me. Tou-san suddenly tenses and glares at Hidan "I WAS YOU WASN'T IT HIDAN!" tou-san hissed glaring daggers at him. The Jashinist tenses in panic, Tou-san can be scary…

The killer intent radiating of tou-san made the chibi zealot back up and take shelter behind me as I pinch the bridge of my nose with a sigh I'm going to have to do it, my 'Secret move: Crocodile Eyes' Suddenly I look tou-san in the eye, my pinkie-red eyes becoming wide and threatening to overflow with tears while I make my lower lip shiver "T,Tou-san, why are you so m,mean, I hate mean people" I whimpered in the cutest sad voice I can do.

Anger dissolves into shame and tou-san wells with tears and is suddenly curled up in the corner in the foetal position mumbling 'I have failed my baby, I'm a bad daddy, my little angel hates me' a distinct rain cloud floating above his head.

I smirk at the sight, turning on my heel to make a peace sign at Hidan, I can practically feel a pair of black wings and horns sprouting and Hidan stares down at me "I'm no angel, I'm the devil incarnate" I giggle with a wink

As we are finally sorted into our squads, the newly formed teams and their jonin sensei's dissipate... 3 guesses who our sensei is… Yeah, you guessed it…

"My darling son, I look forward to teaching you! … And your little friends…" I sigh heavily from my spot on the academy roof where tou-san led us. Hidan sweat drops and gives me a look asking silently if tou-san is really like this. I nod and he sighs.

"So meaning we're now a team, let's get to know one another. I'LL GO FIRST! My name is Akiku Makka, Junketsu's daddy, but you can all call me Akiku-sensei, I love my son and wife, I hate anyone who makes Junketsu sad and my dream is to lead my clan to greatness!" He cheered all too happily.

He then points at Yuki who giggles "I am Yuki Aurora, I like my yaoi boys and anime, I hate sour food and boys who won't admit there is sexual tension~" Her amber eyes fell on me and I glared "~ between them and other boys and my dream for the future is to become a kick-ass kunoichi!" she giggled loudly before tou-san's eyes fell on Hidan

"My names Hidan, I like the ways of Jashin and violence and my friend fuck face, especially when we go get ribs, I fucking hate vegetarian food, succubus whores, Pagans and those who defile the ways of Jashin and my dream is to convert as many of you fuckin' heathens to the way of Jashinism and kill all fucks who don't"

Finally, Tou-sans big glassy eyes fall on me in a loving way "Your turn my darling boy" he practically fangirled

"My name is Junketsu, I like training with tou-san and Hidan as well as sultana cookies and BBQ, especially with Hida-Ass-Hole, I hate Fan girls and being bored… my dream for the future… to protect my friends and become strong"

Tou-san nodded approvingly at us "ALRIGHT MY LITTLE ONES! TOMORROW WE DO A TEAM MISSION! MEET ME HERE AT 7AM! DIIIIIISMIIIIISSED"

Suddenly tou-san was in front of me looking bashful, his index fingers lightly pushing against each other and a dopy smile on his face "My darling son, I was wondering if you'd like to get dinner" He asks. Sheesh HE SOUNDS LIKE HE'S ASKING ME OUT! I smile awkwardly "Urm, Hida-ass-hole and I have plans" Tou san deflates sadly "…Alright… maybe next time?" I smile uncomfortably "Sure"

Hidan throws me over his shoulder before tou-san can abduct me, yuki following after us "Sensei is really… unique" she said with a giggle. I sigh, hanging over Hidan's shoulder "you have no fucking idea" I'm bounced on the zealot's shoulder, him angling me more comfortably on his shoulder "Your dad is fucking crazy, the first time we met he shoved a bar of soap in my mouth saying my fucking 'potty mouth' had corrupted your fragile little mind, then proceeded to fuckin death glare at me the rest of the night, he's fuckin psychopathic!" I giggle at the memory; Hidan literally swore bubbles for 20 minutes! He looked like he had rabies!


	15. One-on-One?

**Chapter 15: One-on-One?!**

We meet as planned at 7am, Tou-san too happy for so early in the morning "GOOOOD MORNING LITTLE ONES! TODAY IS THE DAY, LETS GET DOWN AND BOOGIE!" He cheered, shaking his booty. I face palm, sometimes I wonder if I'm actually his…

I'm sitting on the floor leaning on Hidan for support, the zealot having fallen asleep. I death glare at tou-san who whimpers "Anyways~" he said, gaining his composure "our mission is a team exercise so I can see if your worth teaching" that caught the other 2, Hidan suddenly jolting awake.

All three of us standing before tou-san, the other two not really paying too much attention...

I had been expecting something along the lines of the bell training to test our team work but apparently this village is more about throwing their genin to the wolves as it is not seen as important and something you just naturally pick up.

No wonder this village fails…

Tou-san's face changed from his fun loving self to training tou-san to which I automatically stood at attention.

Hidan and Yuki haven't seemed to notice the personality change so I was nice… and stamped on Hida-ass holes foot. "What the hell fuck face!" he hissed as he hopped in place, however my lack of response and rigid stance made him see the change so he followed suit Yuki copying Hidan.

"Your test is to fight me, don't hold back… unless you want to die" he said neutrally, his eyes like stone as he looked us over in a scrutinizing us. Before he smiled darkly… I forget tou-san can be scary sometimes! IS EVERYONE IS THIS VILLAGE BIPOLAR? "Who's first?"

Yuki and I step back causing tou-san's eyes to train on Hidan. The slightly flustered Jashinist looks either side of himself, noticing me and Yuki have moved back before his head snaps around to look at me with a slight glare as me mouthed the words 'bastard' to me. I smile sweetly at him before he looks away. Hopefully tou-san isn't too hard on him… hopefully…

All I have to say is OUCH! Tou-san meant it when he said not to hold back. Hidan's been sent flying more times than I can count, _**AT THIS RATE HE'LL SPROUT WINGS!**_ Tou-san isn't even using his kekeigenkai! THERE'S NO HOPE IN _HELL_ ANY OF US CAN WIN!

Once more Hidan is speeding through the air before slamming against a tree, his scythe skidding across the ground. The chibi zealot tries to get up but his legs give out under his weight with fatigue, his breathing laboured.

Tou-san just stands there, waiting to see if Hidan can come at him again. Once Hidan indicates he can no longer continue, Tou-san's pinkie red eyes turned on the one closest to him. Yuki. I see her tense but she bites back her growing nerves and steps forward. This isn't going to end well. "R.I.P TO THE GIRL WHO ANNOYS ME, HER DAY IS OVER, YAOI STALKING IS OVER!" I sing aloud to Rita Ora's tune…. DON'T JUDGE ME! Yuki visably tences at the song and I snigger, Hidan even let out a faint chuckle, she's totally screwed….

I sneak off to Hidan's side, the Jashinist still sitting at the foot of the tree he was slammed into "You alright Hida?" I ask softly, only now noticing the trickle of blood running down his chin. Magenta eyes turn to me "Your dad is fuckin' strong" he managed between his panting as he smiled. I can't help but smile back, if he's swearing he's fine.

I slip my hand into my kunai pouch and pull out a box of food pills, tapping out 3 into my hand before giving two to Hidan who eats them without question, the other I roll between my fingers, waiting…

I watch the fight with interest, Yuki is a clan kid and she's _kinda _good at mid-range attacks but I can tell she's hiding something, maybe a special ability or clan jutsu… I'm going to have to do a little research it seems…

Yuki slams against the ground, she doesn't shine at taijutsu so the second he got close she was well and truly fucked. Tou-san doesn't excel at taijutsu either but he can easily take a genin down, I hate to think what he'd do if we were the enemy and not some little genin...

The crazy fan girl stays down in defeat and those familiar pinkie eyes fall onto me. CRAP!

I sigh before standing, quickly consuming the food pill with a loud crunch between my teeth… Ewwww, tastes like shit… I walk forward towards my doom… this is going to HURT…

We stare each other down, the breeze rustling the nearby trees as I finger my shuriken holster… waiting…

The second Tou-san's eyes sharpen I throw a flurry of weapons and create more space between us, an assault of shuriken, kunai and senbon slicing the air. My aim is good but his dodging is better as he weaves around them. DAMMIT!

Tou-san flickers up close and personal, slamming his fist forward only to be met with my forearms in a block, the sheer force of his punch causing me to skid but I channel chakra into my feet to keep me in place. Another swing and I duck only to receive a nasty kick to my ribs which creak dangerously as I slam into a tree.

I quickly channel more chakra into my feet and bolt up the tree trunk, using the leaves as cover as I weave through the branches looking for an opening. Though I'm playing to my own advantage, I'm playing to tou-sans too.

I can see Hidan and Yuki sitting on the ground looking up, trying to spot me…

Weapons slice up into the branches but I evade with ease, years of Usagi-sensei using me for target practice allowing me to do so. _**I NEVER THOUGHT I'D THANK HIM FOR BEING A SADISTIC CHILD ABUSER!**_

Several minutes pass and we're getting nowhere. Tou-sans weapons suddenly change course, no longer aiming for me but…

_**EVIL FUCK!**_

Kunai and shuriken glide through the air towards an un-reacting Hidan and Yuki, they don't notice in time.

Before I know what I'm doing I'm running, everything in slow motion as I drop from the tree tops, I can hear my heart beat in my head, feel the blood rushing through my veins, feeling the pulsation of life within me before I eject, the metallic taste all too familiar. A burst of adrenaline…I feel ALIVE!


	16. Blood and Tears

**Chapter 16: Blood and Tears:**

Hidan and Yuki stare... Before them a wall of red twists and swirls before breaking its shape and returning to me, spiralling around my body in a double helix formation, rotating slowly. I pant lightly, growling angrily at tou-san who has a strange smile working its way on his lips. OROCHIMARU PEDO SMILE! "Are we going to stop playing games now?" he purred, pinkie red eyes sharp.

A slither of red escapes from his sleeve, twisting towards me but I block with one of the helixes. The world is pulsating in my eyes as I am suddenly very aware of everything around me. One half of the double helix around me unravels, shooting away and going after tou-san. Everything is in slow motion, I watch the movements of his muscles, the blood supplying them with oxygen sensing every heartbeat... this has been happening recently, is it normal? I watch carefully as tou-san's body backflips away as he releases a flurry of kunai that are blocked with my blood wall. DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME! He steps back and I smile GOT YA!

The second helix around me unravels and shoots forward slicing tou-san across the cheek. He looks surprised but I know better than to think I caught him off guard… I cut him though…WOOOOOO!

Blood clashes, mixing and separating violently, every cell carefully manipulated to do my bidding, I will not fail. The adrenaline in my system is almost euphoric, heightening my senses, every attack effortlessly evaded, my eyes fixated on my prey… nothing else matters.

A battle of just blood manipulation is getting nowhere… I discreetly make hand signs…

Tou-sans blood makes it around mine, speeding at me like a red dart, piercing my chest….

Water spills from the wound before the body bursts into water… _**WATER STYLE: WATER CLONE JUTSU **_**BALANCED WITH A**_** SUBSTITUTION JUTSU **_**BITCHES!** He's open for an attack…

My blood wraps around his body constricting around his muscles… I know he's holding back but… I've never felt so alive… tightening my grip my blood squeezes him firmly, indicating that I could crush him… I'm tired… CURSE STILL HAVING A REALITIVELY SMALL CHAKRA SUPPLY! WHY MUST I BE SO YOUNG!

"That's enough" was the one command I heard. Tou-san recalled his own blood to which I did the same before panting heavily, coming out of my hiding place in the tree tops… SUBSTITUTION JUTSU IS AWESOME!

Hidan is by my side in a heartbeat "Oi fuck face, you alright?" he asked, his voice concerned. AWWW! _TINMAN __**DOES**__ HAVE A HEART!_ I smile weakly and nod "low chakra" I mumble as Hidan gives me a strange look before he suddenly explodes "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!?, WHAT WAS THAT ATTACK?!,FUCKIN EXPLAIN!" he snarls… I was expecting something along these lines to happen when he found out…

Tou-san looks down at Hidan then looks to me "You never told him about our family?" he asked with a curious voice to which I shake my head. OF COURSE NOT! Hidan is getting impatient, mumbling curses under his breath "JUST FUCKING TELL ME ALREADY!" he hisses.

Tou-san, being the evil bastard he his, vanishes leaving me to explain things to Hidan, thankfully he grabs Yuki, mumbling something about 'male bonding' making her whine about yaoi. _**DAMMIT YUKI, WE'RE NOT YAOI BOYS!**_

When they're gone I finally look Hidan in the eye. That's when I see it. He's worried "Fuckin tell me already, what was sensei talkin about your family!" he near pleads… I've never thought I'd see the day when HIDAN of all people practically BEGS… it's creepy… I sigh, he's going to think I'm a freak but I guess I've got no choice…

"The Makka clan has a kekeigenkai~" I began, feeling unsure of how to explain. I'm not sure of this village's outlook on kekeigenkai, for all I know it could be like the mist village and I might be hated… I don't want Hidan to hate me… please don't hate me… "~being a member of the clan… I can use my blood as a weapon" I mumbled, fiddling with the red fabric belt around my waist, it's suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!" the Jashinist shouted angrily, suddenly grabbing my shoulders tightly in a vice like grip, shaking me slightly "THAT'S SOMETHING YOU FUCKING TELL YOUR BEST FUCKING FRIEND, DON'T YA TRUST ME ENOUGH TO TELL ME THIS SHIT!" He roared making me flinch as his grip tightened to the extent of pain. His eyes are wild, an almost pained look tinging those magenta pools.

"I DIDN'T WANT TO BE A FREAK IN _YOUR_ EYES!" I finally shouted, feeling my eyes prickle, threatening to overflow with tears "I DON'T CARE WHAT EVERYONE ELSE THINKS BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO HATE ME, YOU'RE MY ONLY FRIEND" I sobbed, my voice shaking as I tried to breath. Tears began to run down my cheeks, unable to be held back any longer. I don't want to cry in front of him, I don't want to be weak in his eyes… I use my long sleeve to try to dry cheeks of tears, trying to make them stop but they won't stop coming. **_WHY CAN'T I STOP CRYING?!_**

I sniff and shiver, rubbing my eyes when there is warmth surrounding me. My eyes shoot open in panic to find myself within the tight embrace of Hidan. Tears roll down my cheeks "Hida?" I whimper but he just pulls me closer, holding me tight as he rested his head on my shoulder, his cheeks blushed furiously "you're not a freak" he mumbled into my ear making me shudder, slowly relaxing into his warmth. "And I could never hate you… you're the only person I could never hate, ketsu… I fuckin care about you…" I feel his arms tighten as he breathes in deeply against my shoulder. I burry my nose into the crook of his neck, the scent of metal and blood overriding my senses. I never knew the ass-hole could be so sweet… I guess the anime doesn't reveal everything about the characters personality… I like this side of Hidan.

I can feel my cheeks warm as blood rushes to the surface, I look up at Hidan only to fall into the most gentle magenta, the Jashinists features have softened giving him a less dangerous appearance, he's close but this time I don't mind, it's not awkward or weird, it's warm and natural, like a heartbeat. But what hit me where his eyes, they seemed to look into my sole, past everything I am to the insecurities I buried long before this life, as if he understands…

He smiles down at me "common, let's go get some fuckin BBQ, my treat" I smile and nod, rubbing my eyes once more. He relinquishes his hold around me "Never knew you were a softie" I giggled making Hidan smile, not smirk, SMILE! **I THINK I BROKE HIM!** "You tell anyone I'll hunt you down and sacrifice you to Jashin-Sama, Jashinist in training or not" He warned though his voice held a playful tone.

I think… I think I'm beginning to like this world…just a little bit…

* * *

**AN:/:**

**Soo... what do you guys think of the fluffy ending? yes, no, maybe?**

**Hope you all are enjoyin the story so far ^.^**


	17. Morning Training

**Chapter 17: Morning Training**

Hidan and I bumped into Tou-san on our way home yesterday, apparently he was impressed with us so has confirmed us as a genin squad and that we needed to be in the missions' office tomorrow at 08:00 am to receive our first mission… _**YAY**_**, SOME TOTALLY **_**USELESS**_** D-RANK THAT IS MORE LIKE A **_**FUCKING CHORE**_** THAN A MISSION, I'M **_**SO**_** EXCITED I COULD **_**CRAP**_** MYSELF!**

Thankfully I don't have to be up for a few hours so I'm happily curled up in bed, enjoying the soft twitter of birdcall outside my open window… so peaceful…

Tweet, tweet tweet… tweet… _**CRASH!**_

I quickly jump up from my bed kunai in hand and quickly head over to the window… "FUCK YOU BIRDS! I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKIN EGGS! _PISS OFF!_" looking out, I see Hidan lying flat on his back with small branches surrounding him and two-parent birds dive-bombing him in an attempt to protect their un-hatched eggs… _**WHAT THE HELL?!**_

I put away my kunai and jump out my window, landing gracefully next to the heap of Hidan on the floor. IF HE DOESN'T SHUT UP HE'LL WAKE THE ENTIRE VILLAGE!

"Explain" I growl angrily. HOW DARE YOU RUIN MY BEAUTY SLEEP! The zealot in question smiles sheepishly "Fuck face, I err… was just coming to see if you were interested in doin' a little early morning training… a little one on one?" his voice trailed off at my un-amused face…

_**POW!**_

I punch him hard in the face causing him to fall backwards, unconscious…. What? I'M NOT A MORNING PERSON OKAY!

I throw the idiot over my shoulder and walk up my house wall back to my room which is no easy feat, DAMMIT HIDAN IS FREAKIN **HEAVY!** _LAY OFF THE BBQ!_

I dump him on my bedroom floor before proceeding to grab the cup of water on my night stand and tipping it over his face… if this doesn't wake him up I might actually kill him… I can't be bothered to get more water… but then again blood does stain…

Luckily for him he does wake up, looking a little dazed before sitting up and glaring at me "you're a real bastard sometimes fuck face" he growls in annoyance to which I smile sweetly "Love ya too ass-hole" I giggle as Hidan's face lights up like a cherry. TODAYS MISSION: EMBARRASS HIDAN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE! Revenge is a dish I like to serve blushing... hehehehehe…

The second he's fully conscious again, the zealot demands I go train with him as compensation for my brutal attack… IT WAS _HIS_ FAULT, **WHY DO I HAVE TO SUFFER?!**

Getting changed into my usual attire, I am dragged from my home, the world is still pretty dark, WHAT THE HELL IS THE TIME?!

Through the sleepy streets we walk, passing the closed shops and spa resorts which are very common in the village; taking advantage of the natural hot springs in the land of hot water. I can feel myself frown at the thought of a shinobi village being reduced to a mere tourist resort, it's pathetic! You wouldn't see any of the 5 great shinobi villages doing this, hell; even the less well known villages of waterfall and Star wouldn't stoop this low…

Away from the village we end up in a training ground with a river running through it, the soft babbling sound making me sigh in contentment, that is until Hidan ruins it "ALRIGHT FUCK FACE, TAIJUTSU WARM UP!" he announced loudly before launching himself at me, GIVE ME SOME WARNING!

His fist connects with my face, well my clones face, LIKE HELL AM I JUST GUNNA STAND AROUND AND GET PUNCHED. I myself launch a surprise attack from behind, kicking the Jashinist up the ass and sending him crashing forwards to head butt a tree. OUCHIE!

He quickly springs to his feet and runs at me guns blazing; I willingly back myself us against another tree and dodge just in time for Hidan to punch the tree, earning a string of curses. I sweep my legs under him, putting him of balance and, bring my elbow down into his stomach to which I hear a wrenching sound.

Flickering away, I land on the rivers surface channelling my chakra to stay there… this is gunna be good… Hidan follows after me, believing the water is shallow and automatically falls in with a yelp, HAHAHAHAHA! Hidan can't water walk yet!

The tables soon turn, as soon as he lands a nasty kick to my side he starts his merciless attacking, I block most and throw a few nasty strikes but his sheer physical strength outweighs mine and I'm soon trapped against a tree, with Hidan holding me in place.

WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND TRAPPING ME PLACES?! It's because of his trapping Yuki thinks we're yaoi boys… WE'RE NOT!

I mumble an "I give" to which Hidan relinquishes his vice like grip on my arm, however I'm still backed up against the tree…

Being older mentally has its advantages; my mind concocts a plan for revenge.

I force my blood into my cheeks, creating a blush and pull a girly pout as I look Hidan in the eye "Hida-nii ish so mean to me, don't you love me, I love you nii-san" my voice is soft and cute… the reaction is priceless.

Hidan's face is the colour of a tomato, his magenta eyes wide and his mouth hangs open, opening and closing like a fish out of water as his words get trapped in this throat. He's frozen in place and burning up by the second. REVENGE IS A BITCH!

I burst into laughter, I couldn't help myself, his cheeks seem to darken all the more as he glares at me "Ha fuckin ha fuck face" came his sarcastic hissing to which I smile "Aww, don't be like that Hida-asshole" I giggle, throwing my arms around his shoulders "You know I think you're awesome really" He Smirked and suddenly I'm over his shoulder and we're spinning, the world a swirl of amber and pink as the sun begins to rise.

I suppose getting up this early wasn't too bad…I guess…

* * *

**AN:/:**

**Yo, I just thought i should let ya all know that next weeks updates are going to be a little more spaced out due to me being on holiday. SORRY!**

**I hope you are all enjoying the story so far, thank you for all the support!**


	18. D-Ranks Suck Cock

**Chapter 18: D-Ranks Suck Cock:**

As 07:30am rolls round, Hidan has beaten me black and blue with taijutsu. I returned the favour during the free spar, meaning he knows about my blood ability I gave him a taste of all the training I've been doing, pummelling him as repayment for all the bruises.

We're sprawled out on the grass, staring up at the sky having a few moments rest before having to head back to the village for our first mission… I'd rather stay here, not chasing cats and pulling up weeds.

I'm absentmindedly humming a song from my past life, I was a huge music fan back then though I had a taste for bands like the Misfits, Slipknot, Soulfly, Tool and Type O Negative. It didn't stop me from enjoying other music on the side. Kagamine Len - Gigantic O.T.N* is ridiculously catchy… the mother fucker is stuck on loop in my head! **IT'S DRIVING ME BERSERK!**

As I humm, I hear Hidan sigh "oi fuck face, what ya hummin?" he asked, his deeper voice slightly higher than usual with curiosity. I can't really tell him 'a song from my past life where you're an anime character' it would make me sound crazy…. I'M NOT!

"just a random song" I mumble to which Hidan lets out a low hn sound "sounds alright" he noted absentmindedly. I tilt my head side ways to look at my teammate. He's staring up at the sky, face unnaturally calm and relaxed. I smile to myself before I lightly jab him in the ribs making him tilt his head toward me with a half-hearted glare before he smirks "ALRIGHT fuck face, we gotta bloody go, psycho-sensei won't like it if his 'precious baby' doesn't arrive on fuckin time" he chuckles to himself as I pout "don't wanna" I whine before rolling away from him.

I hear slight movement behind me and then suddenly the world is spinning and I'm over Hidan's shoulder like a sack of potatoes "PUT ME DOWN YOU ASS HOLE!" I hiss, clawing at his back but he just chuckles "you sure you ain't a fuckin bitch? You're starting to fill out like one"

I think my jaw just hit the floor "AM NOT YOU FUCKIN PERVERT!" I hiss, flailing in the zealots grip which only tightens around me in response. THE BASTARD! HOW DARE HE COMPARE ME TO A GIRL!

After about 10 minutes of incessant squirming and back clawing I finally yield and allow myself to be carried. I hang over his shoulder limply, mumbling in annoyance "just you wait you dick, I'll sacrifice you to Jashin"

Hidan chuckles. That's when I realise I'm starting to sound like Hidan! NO! I WON'T BE A ZEALOT! NEVER! "Good fuck face, JASHIN-SAMA WILL BE PLEASED!" he cheered. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO…. did I mention _**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**_

Coming back to the village we still had about 10 minutes before we HAD to be there, I only noticed we were going on a detour when we walked passed our destination, DOES HE KNOW WE'VE PASSED THE BUILDING?!

"Oi ass hole, we just walked past the missions office!" I complained, whacking the zealot in the middle of the back to make sure I have his attention. He let out a slight hiss of discomfort "I know fuck face, just getting something" he growled

We headed into the market area not so far away when Hidan stopped "Oi, Can I get 2" I glare and whack him in the back "MANNERS" I hiss making his sigh "FINE! Oi, can I get 2 please, happy now fuck face!?" he moans to which I giggle. I hear the exchange of money and Hidan finally puts me down, I automatically spin around to come face-to-face with a stick of meat?

From Hidan's smirk I am most likely staring at the food item like it's an alien "huh?" I ask in confusion, which only seems to make the ass hole smirk all the more "breakfast" he states before thrusting it into my hand.

We walk back the way we came, Hidan wolfing down the thing that looks suspiciously like what American's would know as a 'corn dog' though I never tried one in my past life, WHAT? THEY WEREN'T COMMON FOOD WHERE I CAME FROM! I give it a sniff, smells alright… I take a tester nibble of the end, tastes alright… Deciding Hida isn't trying to poison me I continue to eat it.

I'm so engrossed in this new food I don't noticed we've arrived outside the missions office. I look over to Hidan to see his face as red as a tomato staring at me wide eyed… Did I do something? The way he's staring I'm exspecting him to get a nosebleed… oh wait… there it is. A small trickle of blood makes its way down his face… WHAT I DO?! "Hida?" I ask unsure but he quickly looks away mumbling something along the line 'never watch him eat them again' and 'looked so pervy'…. I think I never wanna take a holiday in Hidan's brain…. EVER!

We enter the missions' office…

Here we are, team aka on our first mission which is…

LITTER PICKING…

I know you're jealous, my awesome ninja mission is way better than guarding an important person or fighting for your life… _**ANBU EAT YOUR HEART OUT!**_

The only positive in this was Hidan's face when he heard our mission, it was like he was sucking a poisoned lemon, I nearly wet myself with laughter at the sight!

So here we are, heading round the village with baskets and litter spears spiking any trash we see… So much fun I could cry…

Yuki is overly positive and as a result Hidan is trying to impale her with his litter spear, that's not a euphemism either.

"LET ME STAB HER, JUST FUCKIN ONCE!" Hidan snarled while I pushed the raging Jashinist away from the pale haired bluennette "BAD BOY HIDA!" I growled, using chakra to reinforce my muscles. "I'M NOT A DOG!" The silver haired Jashinist barked. I hear Yuki giggle behind us "so Hidan's your pet?" She asks in a sly voice. I feel my eye twitch.

Tou-san is suddenly holding Hidan and myself back as we both turn on her "NOOOOOO!" we both screech in unison, nearly dragging tou-san sensei with us as we try and get at her. I'M SURROUNDED BY PERVERTS!

When we FINALLY calm down, the mission is over and we report back to get another… weeding a garden…YAY! ANOTHER TOTALLY LAME AND BORING TASK!

The garden is no flower covered, it's a herb garden, a few which I have seen before "Sensei, aren't these medicinal herbs?" I ask to which tou-san smiles "YES! I can see your mother is already working her charm on you!" he squealed to which I pulled a confused face. What's Kaa-san got to do with this?

Noticing my face tou-san giggles "Kaa-san is a fine medical ninja before she retired to have you, she's probably been teaching you about the herbs without you knowing, she's always been sneaky like that" he purrs in a reminiscing way… KAA-SAN WAS A NINJA_**?! NO WONDER SHE'S SO SCARY!**_ Why didn't I know?

Maybe I can get her to teach me about medicine… Having Hidan, the soon to be immortal, on my team it might be a good idea… Why do I feel I'm going to regret this?

We complete a few more crappy missions before we're done for the day, tou-san returning in his report on them and us getting paid…. **MONEY!** It wasn't a massive amount, but it was fair considering that the missions we did were not difficult ones, just labour intensive.

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**AN:/:**

***Kagamine Len - Gigantic O.T.N REMEMBER THIS FOR THERE WILL BE A SPECIAL CHAPTER CENTRIC AROUND THIS SONG LATER IN THE STORY! (PCheshire influenced it... thank you for getting me addicted to it buddy)**

**Another chapter is going up today... especially for Sarah132c (PROMISED i WOULD)**


	19. Medic Nin from Hell!

**Chapter 19: Medic Nin From Hell!:**

When I got home kaa-san was there as per usual baking saltana cookies… She may be scary but her sultana cookies are like heaven!

She smiles brightly at me and I smile in retunn "How was your first day as a real ninja been?" she asked in a knowing way "Boring as hell!" I sighed going to her side to help her out to which she smiles…

"Kaa-san~" I ask softly, I'm not going to poke the bear by being too forward… SHE'LL EAT ME! She humms for me to continue "I was wondering… if you knew where I could learn a little medical ninjutsu… Hidan is a little accident prone and I don't want him dead when we go on harder missions because he's too gung hoe" MUST NOT SWEAR… BITE TOUNGE! She slows her pace, looking at me from the corner of her eye… PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!

"Are you sure you want someone to teach you… it's hard and needs commitment… you'll have to work even harder than you already do" her voice was soft and lightly concerned but I could hear a calculating undertone… she's thinking it over…

"I'm willing to work even harder for the good of the team… I just need someone to teach me" I proclaim with confidence, looking directly at her. Our eyes connect, Pinky red looking into unnaturally vibrant green… then a near evil smile makes its way on her lips… I knew I was going to regret this...

"ALRIGHT! Meaning you're so determined I, The Lavender Fury, will teach you" WHAT DOES SHE MEAN LAVENDER FURY? PLEASE DON'T BE LIKE KUSHINA!

I'm going to die at her hands… she is exactly like Kushina… DOWN TO THE SHORT TEMPER! …. I thought she was scary before but THIS. IS. REDICULOUS!

"JUNKETSUUU! WHAT IS THIS HERB CALLED, YOU GET IT WRONG I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" she hissed and I swear my sole escaped…. THINK JUNKETSU, _**THINK! **_"urr…Megusurisō*?" ….PLEASE DON'T BE WRONG! To my relief she smiles sweetly "correct" She pulls out another from the many pots and jars not littering the table "And this one?" she asks in a dangerously sweet voice sending chills up my spine… FUCK! I stare at the plant in question… large flat leaves with black berries…. DAMMIT! WHAT ARE YOU! Whose bright fuckin idea was it to ask kaa-san for training… oh yeah… I'm so stupid…

Apparently my time is up "This my boy… is _Atropa belladonn… _better known as Bella Donna or Deadly Night Shade… VERY TOXIC due to the presence of tropane alkaloids" She's acting too sweet… Senbon are suddenly flying "YOU BETTER GET RUNNING SHONEN, MY SENBON ARE LACED WITH ATROPA BELLADONN EXTRACT" he snarled. I need to encouragement and bolt for it. NOTE TO SELF, _NEVER GET HER QUESTIONS WRONG __**EVER AGAIN!**_

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_**AN:/:**_

_**Only a short chapter, sorry about that but i wanted to highlight what Junketsu's mother was like... SCARY!**_

_***Megusurisō - Used in Naruto anime for eye strain**_


	20. Blood Affinity and Unheard Conversations

**Chapter 20: Blood Style: Blood Affinity**

Without question, genin missions are PAINFULLY EASY! Half the time I could do them with my eyes shut… however, as easy as they are … I've recently started to notice something… a strange feeling. NO, _**NOT**_ PUBERTY YOU PERVERTS!

It was barely noticeable at first, but the more I concentrate on it, the more it makes itself known. It started as a light pulsation of the near surrounding area, like a buzz… but now…

It's been a few weeks since it began to distract me and I'm fascinated. It happens whenever I'm anywhere near people, everyone having their own distinct pulsation… I've worked it out as part of my kekeigenkai…. I'M SO CLEVER, GIVE ME A SULTANA COOKIE!

This pulsation… its blood… other peoples blood rushing around their circulatory systems. I don't know how this works, I don't know if it's normal but I'm not asking, just in case. LIKE HELL AM I BECOMING SOME CREEPY EXPERMINET!

I know this ability is strange, as a clan we Makka are able to control our own blood within and outside our bodies, I know from extensive research that we CAN'T use another's blood…. But… if it's impossible, then why can I sense it? Why does it seem to call to me? … It's strange…

All the more interesting is that when I extend my senses and concentrate as hard as I can… I can feel more than just blood; I feel a warm wave of energy which I can only compare with my own chakra though I know it's not mine…

It's because of this; I've taken to training alone. Tou-san and Hidan are banished from my training sessions as I came up with the crappy excuse of needing to 'further my training by working on my individual skills' which has allowed me to work this much out.

Meaning I have no idea if this is an existing technique or not, I decided to name it myself, Blood Style: Blood Affinity… I'm so creative it hurts…

I'm sitting crossed legged deep in the forest near the outskirts of the village; this isn't one of my usual training places so Hida-ass hole and tou-san won't think to look for me here. Hell, this part of the forest is abandoned; no one comes here, though I have no idea why not…

As I extend my senses I'm greeted with the increase of the near constant pulsating buzz as it grows and becomes more prominent. I feel small pulsations all around, the rush of the blood running around the bodies of animals… birds, insects, a warren of rabbits… I can feel them all… my range isn't huge, maybe a couple hundred meters but it's growing with time.

The more I concentrate, the more clear the feeling becomes as the warming feel of chakra greets my senses. The natural chakra is quite easy to feel but I have no interest in trying to harness it as I don't fancy being turned into a stone thank you very fucking much.

I can feel the world, anything with a pulse I can find, as long as the blood is pumping around the veins I can sense. This coupled with the chakra sensing, I'll be a bitch to hide from… RUN ALL YOU WANT, YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME! AS LONG AS YOUR HEART BEATS YOU'LL BE IN MY SIGHTS! … Wow that was kinda dark… Hidan's rubbing off on me in a bad way…

There is a spike of chakra and a new heartbeat within my range. Human, large chakra… Jonin?

It's shortly followed by another chakra beating heart but with a smaller chakra as it follows the same route, converging on the same place, not too far from me… the chakra seems jittery, maybe something interesting?

I open my eyes and quickly stand from my position on the floor and heading in the direction of to where the two chakra signatures were. What can I say? Curiosity killed the cat, it also kills the Junketsu

I'm quiet as I approach, masking my chakra creeping silently through the forest…

"It's dangerous to meet like this you know… if people find out what we're doing, the entire clan will be executed" came a painfully familiar voice… tou-san? His voice is cold and neutral, not like his usual self… it sends nervous shivers darting up and down my spine…

I stay where I am, silently listening, what is going on here?

"I know sir, it's just… are you sure we can trust him to hold his end of the bargain, we've all heard the stories, If we're betrayed it's going to destroy us" came another voice, the smaller chakra

This feels bad; the entire situation is screaming Uchiha coup d'état to me. I'M GUNNA BE SO PISSED IF MY CLAN IS COPYING THE UCHIHA!

COPYING THE COPY NINJAS!

"He's not going to betray us, he's going to save us, we've lived too long like this, we're nothing more than restrained animals in this village, it's barely a shinobi village any more, it's pitiful, together we'll show this world our clan is great, it is more than just our pride at stake, it's our entire way of life, our clan has become small and weak, if we don't act now… we will cease to exist"

I think… tou-san is off his rocker… being clan head might have gone to his head… he sounds… like he's planning something stupid…

I can feel the calm beating of tou-sans heart, steady like a beating drum… I wait for them to leave, I don't want to attract their attention by moving… this could be bad, the only question is what do I do?

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**AN:/:**

**YO! I have a question for those wha are reading... I'm in debate for chapter 22 (which I am writing at the moment)... A reader sugguested I do a chapter in Yuki's POV and I was wondering what you all think? would you peeps wanna find out what is going through the fangirls head or do you wanna just say with Junketsu? I put it to you so PM me what you guys want and the result will come out when the chapter goes up... IT'S UP TO YOU!**


	21. Chunin Prep

**Chapter 21: Chunin Prep:**

I've been a genin for a couple months now we've done more D ranks than I can count and enough C ranks to keep us busy… AND NEARLY _KILL_ US! The village is full of psychos, sending genin on infiltration missions!

On top of my group missions, I've been doing missions with tou-san to help my kekeigenkai development… SUCH FUN! He's not acting weird but I know something is wrong, he's watching me like a hawk on these missions as if he's looking for something… I don't like it

My individual training is going well and my blood affinity technique is getting more and more awesome every time I do it! It's starting to become second nature, I can feel other people's blood without trying now but I still have to concentrate to feel their chakra. I can even tell people apart by their blood and chakra so no more sneak attacks from Yuki or other fan girls… I HATE FANGIRLS EVEN **MORE** THAN I HATE RABBITS!

I also learnt a new blood attack called Ruby Spear. Tou-san says it's a basic C rank attack of the clan that all clan members should know. Basically it uses chakra to shape and sharpen cells into a flexible spear or spears that can be aimed like senbon into vital organs, causing severe wounds or death. It's REALLY effective. The demonstration on a mission made me feel sick for a week, the Iwa nin knew a lot about it from the agonised screams he let out before he died. The memory of it still turns my stomach…

Kaa-san is also on the teaching wagon, near kidnapping me from team training, not that I complain because it means more precious time away from the psychopathic yaoi fangirl who is getting MORE ANNOYING BY THE DAY! She's teaching me all about herbs; how to focus my chakra correctly and when I'm not on missions forcing me to practice on animals like fish…the woman is a slave driver! I literally have nightmares about her training, more than once waking up screaming the answers to her questions!

My speed of learning is apparently verging on demonic; I'm absorbing information faster than I can get it. I was not this fast a learner in my old life, I was good but not this good… tou-san and kaa-san love it but apparently I'm scaring some of the other genin teams who have heard about me… well the boys… the girls love me, PLEASE SAVE ME FROM THEM!

I thought my days of fangirls were over… HOW WRONG I WAS! If anything it's got A LOT worse, I'm getting love letters and girls confessing to me… I DON'T WANNA! GIRLS ARE CREEPY!

Hidan is developing well, he's got even more into his religion if that is at all possible, teaching me more about it but also doing more practice of his sacrificing. It used to be just on animals but since his first kill he's gone into murder overdrive. He's been talking to me about teaching me how to sacrifice to Jashin! HELP! He's already got me praying to him… Infact the more I learn, the more I'm convinced he's the one fuckin with me… Jashin if you are the one fuckin with me I will hunt you down, god or not and kill you!

We've all had our first kills, even Yuki as shocking as it seems. She's definitely a scary bitch…I've found out her family use a type of boiling water style jutsu… she boiled her first kill alive from the inside out… what's worse is she did it ACCIDENTLY! SHE HAS NEAR _**NO CONTROL**_ OVER IT!

My first kill was… violent… I 'accidently' crushed a shinobi who was about to attack Hidan from behind with one of my blood helixes, It was pretty messy all that blood screaming out to me… when no one was paying attention I sent a small wave of chakra out and it came to me, like a magnet, as if it wanted to be mine… It was creepy as hell but kinda cool… does that make me a twisted individual? I haven't told anyone, I know I'm not meant to be able to do it… I'm not going to be considered something special. I'm not anything special, I just am a little different… I haven't repeated my little test again but I have a feeling I should…

Team aka has been gathered in the 2nd training ground, tou-san apparently has something important to tell us all. Hidan is still wearing his shirt but I don't think it's going to last long, he's complaining more than usual about how uncomfortable they are and how they get in the way… I'm expecting him to one day turn up naked, PLEASE DON'T HIDAN, I'LL BE SCARED FOR LIFE!

The second tou-san arrives we stand at attention, the other two have learnt that it is better to pay attention around tou-san for his sudden change from normal to Satan's personal trainer from hell.

"Hello my little ones, it's such a beautiful day!" tou-san giggled happily as he walked towards us with a spring in his step… he's too happy… HOW ARE WE RELATED AGAIN?

"As you know we've been a team now for a few months and as a result we've done enough missions to be considered for the chunin exams and I being the best sensei in the universe have recommended you for them! I'M SO EXCITED MY LITTLE BABIES ARE GOING TO THE CHUNIN EXAMS!" He squealed happily, doing a 360 spin on his heel… kaa-san MUST have had an affair… there is no way in hell we are father and son…seriously, what the fuck!?

Hidan has a smirk on his face the second he hears the news "FUCK YEAH!" He cheered while Yuki giggled happily… I'm surrounded by sadists… I nod my head in understanding but in all honesty I'm not sure if we're ready, yes we have developed team work but Hidan still tries to murder Yuki every mission for some sort of yaoi innuendo aimed at us, yes our individual skills are good but Yuki has no control, Hidan is too scythe happy and I'm still developing mine in secret.

A sudden question pops into my head "sensei… where are the exams being held?" I wouldn't say any of the smaller villages would hold them so it would have to be one of the 5 great shinobi nations, leaf, cloud, mist, stone or sand… I don't really like the sound of any of them… I'm too lazy to travel all the way to one of them…

Tou-san's happy smile falters slightly "It's going to be held in the Mist"…

…

… WHAT! OUR TEAM, COMPRISED OF 2 KEKEIGENKAI USERS AND A JASHINIST IS GOING TO THE BLOODY MIST WHERE THEY HATE KEKEIGENKAI USERS!? I'M GUNNA DIE! HIDAN'S GOING TO BE THE ONLY ONE TO SERVIVE!

I feel my blood run cold at the thought, the bloody fucking mist village… Is the village trying to kill us? Maybe. Is tou-san crazy for willingly taking us there? DEFINITELY! Am I the only one thinking this is a bad idea? Yes… Yuki doesn't seem to recognise the danger… yes they don't cull kekeigenkai clans any more but that's because there are most likely none left in their village… I don't even know which Mizukage is in power right now… PLEASE BE MEI! I don't really fancy going there to find out which Mizukage is in power… nope, don't wanna!

Tou-san smiles at me "MY ADORABLE SON, THERE IS NO NEED TO WORRY YOUR SWEET LITTLE HEAD, DADDY WILL BE THERE TO PROTECT HIS LITTLE ONES FROM ANYONE BAD!" he suddenly flickers himself in front of me, yanking me into a bone crushing head "BUT YOUR CONCERN IS ADORABLE! DADDY LOVES HIS PRECIOUS BABY!" He squeals in my ear while nuzzling me. _**DO YOU WANT TO DEAFEN ME?!**_

I can feel my cheeks burn up with embarrassment. MAKE HIM STOP! Please don't let him do this while we're in the Mist village… I'll never live it down…

I'm suddenly yanked away from tou-san's squealing by Hida-asshole who pulls firmly into his side with his arm tightly wrapped around my shoulder. He smirks down at me playfully "we're gunna breeze it fuck face! WE'RE GUNNA BE BAD ASS CHUNIN!" He cheers to which I smile… bad-ass chunin...

We leave in a couple days… I guess I have to prepare… I just want to come back in one piece… and preferably **NOT** in a body bag… It's definitely Jashin who is fucking with me…


	22. A Day Served 3 Ways

**Chapter 22: A Day Served 3 Ways**

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**AN:/: WARNING! FANGIRLING, ALOT OF SWEARING, DEROGATORY LANGUAGE 3 P.O.V**

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***Yuki P.O.V***

Tee hee, yaoi is so hot… the only thing that could be better than yaoi is live-action yaoi with Hidan-kun and Junketsu-kun… the cute boys on my team! **THAT WOULD BE SO HOT!** I have no idea why they deign it! Hidan is obviously after little Junketsu's tight ass, the pervert tee hee, but Junketsu-kun _**OBVIOUSLY**_ has feelings for Hidan-kun, the insulting pet names, the play fighting which ends up with Junketsu-kun pinned down being straddled by Hidan-kun… OH THE WONDERS OF YAOI! JUST GET ON WITH IT AND KISS… AND HAVE SEX… AND LET ME WATCH! I WILL PAY TO WATCH! _**PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!?**_

We leave for the chunin exams tomorrow so we have no mission today, we're **SUPPOSED** to rest but **HOW** can I rest knowing THAT THERE IS _**UNRESOLVED SEXUAL TENSION**_ WITHIN MY TEAM? Yes Hidan-kun is sexy as hell, But it's so painfully obvious he fancies Junketsu-kun I can live with it… AS LONG AS I CAN WATCH!

I have a load of picture evidence that they want each other… oh my HidaJunket picture collection is so HOT! MY YAOI BOYS! EEEEEK, **THEY'D BE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE!**

I know Junketsu-Kun is a **SUPER UKE** so Hidan-Kun would have to initiate it, _**HE'S JUST BEING A BIG BIRLS BLOWSE ABOUT IT!**_ It's simple Hidan-Kun, dominate him, kiss him, mark the pale skin of his neck, tease him _**THEN HAVE HIM HARD WHILE I TAKE PICTURES!**_ Easy. Tee hee…

At this moment I'm hiding in the bushes near my yaoi boys fave tree. I know they will meet here today, they always do when it's their day off, they sit around and talk have a little sexy wrestle then go eat BBQ where Junketsu-kun licks his fingers in a serductive way which gives Hidan a boner under the table… **HOW HIDAN-KUN HASN'T JUMPED HIM YET I WILL NEVER KNOW, IF I WAS HIM I TOTALLY WOULD HAVE, JUNKETSU-JUN IS JUST BEGGING, HE'S PRACTICALLY SCREAMING 'PLEASE HIDA-ASSHOLE FUCK ME!' **

I can feel another nose bleed coming on at the thought… Hidan fucking Junketsu-kun would be Sooo hooot!

I hear to fermilliar voices approaching_**, MY YAOI BOYS ARE SO PREDICTABLE!**_

They sit together under the tree having their usual conversation about Hidan-Kuns god 'Jashin'? Is that his name? IT SO _**CUTE**_ HOW JUNKETSU-KUN MAKES AN EFFORT TO UNDERSTAND HIDAN-KUN'S HOBBIES AND BELIEFS! It's even cuter how Hidan looks at Junketsu like a love sick puppy, gazing into his pinky red eyes in that lovingly dazed way! HOW HAS JUNKETSU-KUN NOT NOTICED?! Or is he just playing dumb to tease Hidan?

The way they look at each other, _**THEY JUSY OOZE SEXUAL TENSION! FOR THE LOVE THAT IS YAOI JUST COME TO TERMS WITH YOUR HOMOSEUALITY AND HAVE SEX! **_

Then again, there is that part of me that wishes Hidan-kun would notice me, he's always looking at Junketsu-kun and no matter how often I try and make my feelings know he doesn't seem to notice and is just plain mean to me… I'm not saying Hidan-kun and Junketsu-kun wouldn't be hot_**. IT WOULD.**_ I just wish Hidan-kun would look at me the same way he does Junketsu-kun, maybe even CONSIDER me if Junketsu-Kun is too stubborn to admit his feelings… I wouldn't even mind being part of a love triangle as long as Hidan could be mine sometimes… I could share if it meant I could have him to myself every once in a while.. he just never seems to notice… either that or he just doesn't care.

As they begin to wrestle, Junketsu-kun is quickly pinned against the floor, their faces close together…. KIIIIIIIIISSSSSS! I whip out my camera, capturing the beautiful moment before I can no longer restrain myself "YAOI!" Erupts from my lips as I bound out the bush for a clearer shot… only to receive the dirtiest, sexiest glare from Hidan-Kun… He's giving off more killing intent than should be possible for a genin before he swears hatefully at me, throws Junketsu-kun over his shoulder and flickers away… Did I just ruin something? _NOOOOOO!_

***Hidan P.O.V***

I fuckin' hate this… Every fuckin' day is the fuckin' same… I fuckin' hate this village, I hate the fuckin' people and I HATE being restrained by this shit hole… THE FUCKIN' HEATHENS WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF JASHIN SAMA!

I sit in my apartment shirtless and in silence… this shitty hole of a village should just fuckin' die… I hate this place and I hate everyone in it… a soft knock on my door snaps me out of my hateful musings… the one reason I bother to stick with this crap village. I'm up and am making my way to the door faster than the Yellow Fuckin Flash… the once slow beating in my chest slightly faster than before… I hate this reaction… IT MEANS _**NOTHING!**_ …. Nothing…

I open the door and fall into pinky red orbs and a smile that could melt the coldest of hearts… my best friend… my only friend… the one person I _ACTUALLY_ fuckin' like in this nightmare of a shinobi existence… he makes me feel warm… I can't stop the mucles in my face beginning to form a smile but I force myself to smirk instead… I won't fuckin loose to myself… stupid fuckin body…

"Put a shirt on you flasher, WHAT THE HELL ASS HOLE!" comes that femilliar half-hearted snarl, like fuck is angry at me, if he was he'd get that look his demon of a mother gets when she's pissed… That thing is no woman… more like a tailed beast in a bad fuckin mood… and that's on a fuckin good day!

How my Fuck face lives with THAT I have no fuckin idea… couple that with his psycho dad and you have a match made in the darkest pits of hell… How fuck face is so fuckin normal is a mystery, though I know there is something darker in him… for all that childish sugar bloody coating, he's got power… more than he himself knows… any fuckin dip shit can see it in his eyes…under that innocence there is something nasty… I can't wait till it fuckin comes out… together we'll rid the world of heathens… together…

I growl lightly at him but I don't really mean it and he fuckin knows it… HE'S TURNED ME FUCKIN SOFT! I yank on my shirt and grab my scythe "I ain't no fuckin' flasher fuck face, and why would I flash you? Though you could be mistaken for a fuckin bitch with those big fuckin eyes and girly build" I tease with a smirk to which he blushes with a glare… Fuck that's cute… NO! _**NOT**_ CUTE! HE'S A KID… AND MY _FRIEND_…_** I AIN'T NO FUCKIN' PEDOPHILE!**_

"FUCK YOU ASS HOLE!" he hisses angrily… however his anger soon dissolves away into a pouting face and his eyes seem ten times more amazing, like slightly pink rubies…"Besides, how'd you know what my body is like… unless you've seen it, Hida-nii?" I feel my face begin to burn up and my heart slamming against my rib cage… HOW DOES HE ALWAYS FUCKIN DO THAT!? I feel like my face is on fire as I whip my face away to hide my embarrassment… for someone so fuckin innocent he's good at making things sound pervy… Jashin-sama, is this a test? Is he a temptation I'm supposed to conquer? Or did you send him to me? Either fuckin way this friendship is driving me bloody insane… he's my friend… nothing more… right?

We've wandered out to our usual tree and I feel a small wave of relief "Alright fuck face! Jashin lesson time!" I cheer, plonking my ass down at the base of the tree. Junketsu moves far more gracefully, decending swiftly down to his knees before twisting his legs into a crossed position, his delicate and milky skinned yet calloused hands resting in his lap. I smirk at him "First things first, what is the key teachings?" I ask to make sure it's drilled into him. He learns faster that what should be fuckin natural so I know he remembers… he doesn't forget his training or anything he considers important… he's like a fuckin elephant with that crazy brain of his!

I listen to his response, perfect word for word as per usual, His voice is sweet, still higher than mine but he's still young so it's yet to break… but I like his voice a bit… grrrr… _**ALRIGHT A-FUCKIN-LOT, HAPPY NOW?!**_

I continue asking questions to which he answers perfect word for word… Jashin-sama would be proud, I fuckin am! Those pink rubies shine with pride when he knows he's done something right and his lips twist in the right corner of his mouth, he doesn't notice he does it… one of his little quirks… a little tell that he's happy… it makes me happy… FUCK IT NO! HE'S MY FRIEND! _NOTHING_ FUCKIN MORE! Suddenly I'm falling backwards and I'm staring into those large eyes, filled with playful mischief. I can't stop the smirk that works its way to my face as I spin us to pin him beneath me, his legs either side of me as I'm on my hand and knees above him, usually I'm straddling him but due to the angle it's ended up like this… I can feel my cheeks burn up again as I think about the defenceless position I have him in… completely at my mercy…

Our bodies are close, I can feel his rib cage pushed against my own as he breathes in and out, his eyes are large and his dark yet bright purple hair has fluffed out around him and that soft smile… my heart slams harder against my rib cage, the way it does for him… the closeness of his face allows me to feel the warm ripples against my skin sanding a small shiver bolting down my spine…. FUCK, _FUCK,_ _**FUCK!**_ I FEEL LIKE SUCH A PEDOPHILE!

HE'S A KID, 5 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME! AND MY BEST FRIEND! ARGH! FUCKING SHITTY CRAPPY ASS RAPING MOTHER FUCKER! A KID… A BOY SHOULDN'T HAVE THIS AFFECT ON ME!

"YAOI!" I hear from my left making every muscle in my body tense… THE EVIL CUNT OF A SUCUBUS WHORE! My head snaps in the direction, as does Ketsu fuck faces to see the bitch drooling with a nose bleed and her camera making high speed clicking noises. I HATE HER! I WANT HER DEAD! I'M GOING TO RIP HER HEATHEN HEAD OFF THEN BURN HER BODY!

I glare at the bitch, trying will all my might to burn holes into her or make her explode, DIE WHORE! "GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU SUCUBUS PROSTITUTE, NOTHING FUCKIN HAPPENED, WE'RE NOT FUCKIN YAOI BOYS. EAT SHIT!" I snarl, getting up and throwing fuck face over my shoulder, he squirms a little but he wants away from the psycho bitch just as much as I fuckin do.

I make a break for it, flickering away to somewhere more populated. BITCH ALWAYS STALKING US! I put ketsu-fuck face down and we walk in silence for several minutes.

"Hida, you wanna get food?" chimes his soft voice and I smirk. "BBQ!" I cheer with a fist pump to which he giggles. I love BBQ but it's always that bit better when fuck face cooks it, he doesn't burn any of it… **FUCK YOU I'M SHIT AT COOKING!**

We make it there quick, taking our usual booth and ordering the usual…. Ribs… fuck face orders fucking vegetables too which he's gunna force me to eat; he's a nutrition dictator… hehehe… dic-tator… Dick…

I can feel the drool running down my chin as I watch fuck face masterfully move the ribs, ensuring no burning and even cooking… he'd make a good house wife… house husband… no, wife suits him bloody better… though he rip my balls off I ever said that to his fuckin face…

The second he signal I can I swipe the biggest rib, the sticky coating painfully hot but I ain't waiting!

I watch as fuck face chooses smaller bits and puts some vegies on my plate with a warning glare, the same on his mother shoots out at me whenever I eat there… _'don't fuck with me and eat. The. Vegetables. Or. I'll. Shove. Them. Down. Your. Throat.'_ Look… scary fuckin genetics.

Fuck face eats carefully, not so much as a drop of sauce on his clothes or face, fingers fuckin only… he likes to lick them clean afterwards… HE'S TOO INNOCENT! CAN'T HE SEE HOW SERGUESTIVE IT LOOKS!? … no…

The second a finger touches his tongue I am hypnotised… it swirls and I can feel my cheeks burn… I'm not a pedo yaoi boy, I'm not a pedo yaoi boy_, I'M NOT A FUCKIN PEDO YAOI BOY!_ _**SHIT!**_

He looks up at me in that innocent way he does and I can feel my entire shitting body ignite with embarrassment… **DAMMIT FUCK FACE!**

I make good my escape after paying half… I wouldn't fuckin mind paying for him but he's a 50/50 kinda fuck face… I go home, desperate for an ice cold shower… I'm not a fucking pedo yaoi boy, I don't like him more than friends… he… he doesn't like me more than fuckin friends…

I sigh and return home to my empty house…

***Junketsu P.O.V***

I get up as usual, grabbing my clothes and quickly pulling them on. I'm meeting Hida-ass hole for another Jashin lesson and he'll have a hissy fit if I'm late. I quickly brush my teeth, hair and slip on my shoes before bolting out the door.

It's a short run to Hidan's and I'm there! NEW _SPRINT TO THE ASS HOLES HOUSE_ RECORD OF 2 MINUTES 12 SECONDS! I quickly knock on the door waiting for an answer.

The door opens **fast** to reveal a HALF _**NAKED**_ HIDAN!

"Put a shirt on you flasher, WHAT THE HELL ASS HOLE!" I hiss, MY POOR VERGIN EYES! **EVERY TIME DAMMIT!**

I _KNOW_ he's smirking he always does, I don't have to see it to know he is. I can hear fabric, a small grunt and the sound of metal "I ain't no fuckin' flasher fuck face, and why would I flash you? Though you could be mistaken for a fuckin bitch with those big fuckin eyes and girly build" he taunts to which I unveil me eyes to see a now fully clothed Jashinist smirking like a Cheshire cat… bastard… I feel my cheeks burn up and I glare at him _**I DON'T HAVE A GIRLY BUILD, I'M A BOY DAMMIT!**_

"FUCK YOU ASS HOLE!" I hiss angrily glaring harder. My evil brain suddenly clicks and I change my glare into a pout and look him in the eye …"Besides, how'd you know what my body is like… unless you've seen it, Hida-nii?" I ask all too sweetly. His face lights up crimson as he stares at me, eyes wide _**REVENGE IS A BITCH, DON'T FUCK WITH THE DEVIL INCARNATE! **_I can sense his blood rushing around his veins and arteries at high speed as his heart beat increases, _**I GOT HIM GOOD! **_I love this new ability, I can tell just how embarrassed Hidan is when I fuck with his head… I'M NOT EVIL… much…

We make it to our usual tree and I smile, I like this spot. "Alright fuck face! Jashin lesson time!" the slowly un-chibi-ing Jashinist cheers as he drops on his ass at the base of the tree. I carefully drop down to my knees before twisting them out to cross my legs for a gentler landing.

He's smirking at me which reminds me of my science teacher in my first life… that smirk means one thing to me… POP QUIZ!

"First things first, what is the key teachings?" DING DING DING, WE HAVE A WEENER… I'm so clever it hurts_**… I HATE POP QUIZES!**_

I feel my brain spark to life, searching my memory for the right info before I answer "anything less than utter destruction is a sin" I say to which Hidan smirks.

This hellish process continues until I notice Hidan zoning out. He's staring at me but I'm not sure if he actually sees me. **I'LL TEACH THE BASTRD FOR ZOMING OUT WHEN HE'S LISTENING TO ME!**

I pounce fround my sitting position on the floor to grab hi shoulders using my weight to push him backwards. However my plan backfires as he snaps out of his thinking just in time to spin us with a smirk, my back slams against the floor hard and although it hurts a little it's nothing serious, especially compared to Kaa-san's medical training… SHE'S A DEMON!

I'm trapped…. _AGAIN!_ I spend more time on my back with him than I do anything else, THIS SUCKS COCK! I squirm a little, my legs spread either side of his hips and my hands are either side of my head. His cheeks are cherry red and I tilt my head with a smile. He always looks so cute when he blushes… NOT IN THAT WAY, AS IN LIKE LITTLE KID CUTE!

Our bodies are close, practically pressed together as I can feel the muscles iof his chest ripple against me when I breathe. The scream of his blood is fast paced, guess I embarrassed him again, SCORE!

However, I feel a second blood rush it's~

"YAOI!" I hear in an almost PAINFULLY high pitch voice… **FANGIRL!** Hida-ass hole and myself both snap out head in the direction of the shrill squealing to find Yuki, a waterfall of blood gushing from her nose and a pervy smile that could rival OROCHIMARU! Her finger is slamming against the capture button so fast I think I can see smoke… SHE'S CRAZY!

"GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU SUCUBUS PROSTITUTE, NOTHING FUCKIN HAPPENED, WE'RE NOT FUCKIN YAOI BOYS. EAT SHIT!" I HEAR Hida hiss, his cheeks lightly blushed and is magically standing up above me. I'm still on the floor but ready to move if he attacks her.

The world is sent spinning as Hidan grabs me, throwing me over his shoulder and we disappear faster than I can glare at Yuki for stalking us. STALKING! And we're going to have to spend near _ALL_ out time with her during the chunin exams… I'M SO EXCITED I COULD CRY!

Hidan puts me down once we're away from our deranged fan girl of a team mate and we walkin silence though I can still feel Hidan fuming. I smile sweetly; I know exactly how to cheer up a moody Jashinist "Hida, you wanna get food?" I ask to which I get a deranged smirk "BBQ!" he cheers with a fist pump to which I giggle. He really loves his meat…

As soon as we're there Hidan leads to out usual booth and we order ribs and some vegetables, **HE'S GOING TO EAT THEM EVEN IF I HAVE TO FORCE FEED HIM!**

As it cooks I can see Hidan drooling on the table, once again watching the biggest rib. I smile at the familiar sight, turning my attention back to the meat and vegetables so they don't burn.

The second they're done he snatches up the biggest rib before I can warn him how hot it is. I think from the alarmed look on his face he's just found out the hard way… IDIOT!

I put some vegetables on his plate which he glares at but I hold him in a silent threat, _**HE WILL EAT THEM IF HE KNOWS WHAT'S GOOD FOR HIM!**_

I eat the smaller bits but I'm more interested in the sauce on my fingers… The moment I'm done my tounge is swirling around them like usual, seeking all the yummy sauce.

As per usual I get that look from Hida-ass hole I don't get, I don't even think he's realised he's blushing the colour of a tomato. I look him in the eyes and his entire BODY matches his cheeks! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS POSSIBLE!

We quickly pay before leaving, going our separate way, him going home while I go and get a little more training in.

* * *

**AN:/:**

**this is the last of the pre written chapters so you'll just have to bare with me... also NEVER exspect a chapter this longer ever again... MY HAND HURTS!**


	23. On Our Way

**Chapter 23: On Our Way**

Senbon… check

Poison coated Senbon… check

Kunai… check

Shuriken… check

Food pills… check

Explosive tags… check

Bandages… check

Basic medical kit… check

Atropa belladonn extract… check

Fox glove digoxin extract… check

Doing inventory is near painfully boring, I'm sitting on my bed room floor ticking off everything I need… I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS LAST NIGHT! It's about 04:30 am and instead of sleeping I'm checking my tools for the chunin exams in the Mist village which I leave for today… yay, I'm a kekeigenkai user going to a village where they CULL kekeigenkai users, I'm totally going to die… this sucks cock. **HARD!**

Kaa-san helped me make a few poisons last night and tou-san was bouncing off the walls in excitement, squealing about how we'll easily massacre our way through the competition… what a normal and healthy family I live in…It could be worse… I think…

Deciding I have everything I could need I pull out my sealing scroll, readily prepared and ready for action, it already containing some basic clothes, food and water for the pain in the ass journey to the bloody Mist village, the idea sending shivers up my spine while the mental images of my beaten and bloody corpse being strung up outside the village… THIS IS SUICIDE! Why couldn't we have gone somewhere more friendly, even IWA would have been nice…_I could have seen a chibi Deidara!_ … But no, Jashin is having more fun torturing me… WHAT THE HELL DID I EVER DO TO HIM?!

Sealing the carefully prepared items into the scroll, my pouch and shuriken holster already prepared, I tuck it into my kunai pouch, however I'm not stupid enough to put the antidotes in the same place, they're bandaged against my inner thigh just under my shorts leg to conceal them, I'M SO CLEVER!

I can feel anxiety eating at my confidence, death is not overly pleasant and the first time it was on my own terms… I don't fancy finding out what it's like to die any other way. Once is enough for anyone.

But it's not just the exam… tou-san… I need to find out what he's planning that's so bad it could have the entire clan executed but I can't see how I can without revealing that I know something… I could just wait, bide my time and see how the situation develops but… by the time I know it could be too late… I have over a month of just him Hida and Yuki… if I'm careful I could do a little digging, but nothing that is going to be suspicious…_ no second death for me!_

I hear running and my door slams open "WAKEY WAKEY MY DARLING BABY!" … speak of the devil and he shall appear, apparently that works for tou-sans too. How can he be so awake THIS early? … I FEEL LIKE I'M GUNNA COLLAPSE! He must be crazy… or at least mentally deranged.

Kaa-san seems to agree with me as I hear a low growling behind him, both tou-san and I tense… THE BEAR HAS BEEN AWOKEN, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

"Akiku… I'm warning you to SHUT UP BEFORE I RIP YOUR MANHOOD FROM YOUR BODY AND THROW IT TO STARVING DOGS!" comes her deadly snarl, looking nervously around tou-sans frozen figure I catch a glimpse of kaa-san's ruffled pale lavender hair, her eyes ablaze with green flames and giving off more killing intent than I thought humanly possible, her hands balled into fists and a dangerous glare etched into her naturally pretty features. THIS IS ALL TOU-SAN'S FAULT! WHY MUST HE BE SO LOUD!?

Tou-san suddenly snaps to life raising his hands defensively "I'm sorry hunny, my beautiful lavender queen, I was just excited… I… I'll shut up now" he whimpers in a high pitch squeak of voice, his body shaking like a leaf… _tou-san must be a brave man if he created me…_ I hear her hiss at the high pitch voice of tou-san, pulling senbon out of thin air and throwing them at him… ENEMY ATTACK! I narrowly manage to evade the senbon thrown at tou-san, WHY AM I BEING ATTACKED?! I DID NOTHING WRONG!

Tou-san ends up on the floor while kaa-san stares me down… the mist isn't going to get a chance at me if kaa-san gets her hands on me first… suddenly she's up close ready to deliver a knockout blow "no mummy _I love you!"_ came my desperate attempt to avoid damage from the mad woman that is my mother, AND I THOUGHT I WASN'T A MORNING PERSON!

I clamp my eyes shut, waiting for my pending doom…. Only to receive a kiss on the forehead? ... My eyes snap open to receive a one arm hug and be dragged towards her and tou-sans bed room "mummy needs to sleep with her ketsu-teddy" came he tired reply… NOOOOOOOOOO! HIT ME; BEAT ME SENSELESS, ANYTHING BUT THE KETSU-TEDDY!

I'm thrown on the bed, head pulled into her cleavage as she passes out with a vice-like grip holding me in place… HELP! I'M SUFFOCATING! I squirm but to no avail…_why does this shit happen to me?!_

When kaa-san is done using me as a living teddy bear, I escape the house at lightning speeds as she starts throwing senbon at tou-san again for letting her sleep in… _I feel no sympathy_…

I bolt to Hidan's hoping to holy hell he's awake, PLEASE, _PLEASE_ BE AWAKE!

I knock on the door urgently; hoping to escape before kaa-san can notice her ketsu-teddy is gone. The door is ripped open and I'm frozen, eyes wide…

…

_**NUDIST!**_

My eyes burn as I stare at Hidan in all his naked glory… I'M SCARED FOR LIFE! I SEE EVERYTHING! DOES HE HAVE NO SHAME EXPOSING HIMSELF TO A CHILD!?

"PERVERT NUDIST STRIPPER!" is all that escapes my mouth; my eyes feel like tennis balls as my entire body ignites with embarrassment. Hidan seems no better, his jaw hanging agape, hair scruffy and eyes wide in panic and his ENTIRE body erupting into tomato red!

Time seems frozen, seconds stretching out for what feels like hours_**. SERIOUSLY**_, WHY DOES SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?!

Suddenly time comes back and Hidan suddenly bolts into his apartment looking for something, _**anything**_, to cover up what I've just seen… I NEED BRAIN SOAP! I'm going to be haunted… my nightmares are going to be made of Hidan's nudeness! I CAN NEVER LOOK HIM IN THE EYE AGAIN!

After several minutes of standing awkwardly by the front door, Hida-ass hole sheepishly returns, face burning burgundy with clothes covering him up THANK JASHIN!

Awkward… silence… say something…_ANYTHING!_

"Hi" comes his unsure greeting, we can't even look each other in the eye… "Hey… urm… I guess I came at a bad time… I'll just~" I'm about to turn tail and run but he grabs my shoulder "its fine… Was my fault… slept, well ya kno" I feel my face burn all the more "yeah…"

I never thought something could be so painfully awkward, yes I've walked in on people naked, I've seen more of tou-san than I care to mention, but this _isn't_ the same… this is the to be S-rank rouge ninja Hidan of the Akatsuki, immortal and complete sadist… in my first life, I'd have crawled through broken glass and lemon juice to catch a _glimpse_ of one of the Akatsuki naked but Hidan isn't just a bad-ass Akatsuki member anymore, he's my best friend, the idiot who makes me laugh, throws me over his shoulder, trains with me and the person who I spend every moment I can with…

We stand awkwardly for several minutes until I can't take it any more "do you NOT OWN PERJARMAS, what kinda pervert greets people at the door naked!?" I tease angrily with a little smirk. He blinks a couple times before mirroring my smirk "Mistook ya for a hot bitch fuck face!" I won't let this get awkward; he's one of my precious people.

I wait in his apartment while he sorts himself out, grabbing his weapons and his supplies for the journey. For once in his life he's organised, having already done all the prep as we're out of there pretty fast.

We head down the street heading to the meeting point to wait for an hour when a pale purple thunder storm arrives "JUNKETSU! YOU THINK YOU CAN LEAVE FOR THE CHUNIN EXAMS WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE TO YOUR MOTHER!?" I'm not the only one to tense, Hidan looks like a rabbit faced by lion, his back rigid, eyes wide and his skin deathly white… _everyone fears kaa-san!_

THWACK!

He fist slams down on my head hard making my word become dazed and blurred, why am I surrounded by child abusers?

I can hear ranting and as I recover from the harsh blow I see Kaa-san shaking Hidan like a rag doll, her hands fisted the front of his shirt dangling him off the ground "YOU'RE GOING TO LOOK AFTER JUNKETSU, IF HE RETURNS WITH SO MUCH AS A SCRATCH I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR INSIDES OUT AND CHOKE YOU WITH YOUR OWN INTESTINE! Are we understood?" her scream ending in a sickly sweet purr. The look of purr unadulterated terror on his face in near comical "y, yes Mokoto-san" he squeaked to which kaa-san smiled "I'm so glad we see eyes to eye Hidan-kun… JUNKETSU~" she suddenly shouted, dropping Hidan and turning her attention to me "YOU BETTER BECOME A CHUNIN OR SO HELP ME KAMI I'M GOING TO TRIPLE YOUR MEDICAL LESSONS!" … I think my soul escaped… triple… _**TRIPLE?! … Anything but that, please for the love of all that is unholy, I HAVE TO PASS!**_

Tou-san rescues me from my terrors scooping me up and running away with a _'see you in a month hunny, love ya!' _Hidan quickly trailing behind as we go to the village gates. Other teams have already set off while some are waiting for their sensei's, Yuki is there waiting screaming 'YAOI!' The second she spots us… a month of THAT… kill me now…

With all of us together we set off on our journey towards possible death or glory, Hidan cheering about chunin exam while Yuki giggled happily. I settled for a smile… I just hope I come out of this alive…


	24. Boats and Summoning Demon Rats

**Chapter 24: Boats and Summoning Demon Rats**

Torture…That is the only way I can describe the 2 days of journey so far. Due to the positioning of the land of boiling water, we not only have to cross our home land but also the land of fire… that's right, we're taking the scenic route though enemy territory… I think tou-san is trying to kill us… I hear you asking why… BECAUSE HE WANTS A PRETTY VIEW! Yep, he's risking his genin teams' lives including his only child and heir to his clan for a pretty view… WHAT THE HELL!

So far we've gone unnoticed which I am painfully grateful for, the last thing I want is to be chased my leaf ninja, let alone meet any of the main cast, I don't think I could stop myself asking for their autograph which would get some weird looks!

However, there's a reason I'm whining, not just because we're in the middle of enemy territory, no that's not my only reason…THERES TOO MANY TREES!

The land of fire is like a forest all over! Seriously, the further in we go the more trees there are, it wouldn't be such a pain in the ass if we had more experience with dense foliage. Right now trees suck cock.

It's hard to keep track of the others like this and Yuki keeps straying behind which isn't helping Hidan's short fuse and _its all tou-san's fault! _It's not massive for me as I can sense them but navigating through the treetops like this is difficult and has me on edge… out lack of experience has us at a disadvantage. If we're attacked I'm not confident we could counter effectively. In short, _**I want out of this stinkin forest before the shit hits the fan and we all end up dead!**_

We're travelling fast, much to our resident fan girls distaste who is whining CONSTANTLY… shut her up already before Hida-asshole shuts her up permanently… my team is so dysfunctional…

"Can't we just have a little break, PLEASE sensei, pretty please?" come a whine from the back of our little group for the one thousandth time this hour. Hidan, who is to my left glaring holes into tou-sans head, whips his head round with a snarl "SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH OR I'LL SACRAFICE YOU TO JASHIN-SAMA!" Came his venomous hiss causing her to pout "no need to be so mean about it, you're too stressed, it's all the sexual tension! You and Junketsu should make out! You'll feel much better!"

I flick 3-poisoned senbon at her that she only manages to block with kunai "We're. Not. Yaoi. Boys, say it again and I'll make sure you die a slow and agonizing death" I growl lowly, my pinkie red eyes glaring into her pale honey. I can see her tense, physically flinching under my gaze… it seems I'm mastering the art of the glare… ONE DAY I MIGHT RIVAL GAARA!

I begin to turn back only for my gaze to fall into magenta. He's got a dark smirk on his face, the kind that says 'we could kill her and hide the evidence' I'm tempted… but we need her… hold on, just when did I get _this_ evil?

Facing forward, tou-san is looking back at me, those hawk-like eyes on me, something unnervingly calculating behind his usual happy spark… It disappears as fast as it appeared, replaced with a stupid smile… I don't like that look…

An unknown blood flow makes it into my range, heightening my alert, I concentrate… it's got a sizable chakra, but its size isn't big enough to be human. **WHAT THE HOLY HELL IS **_**THAT?!**_

I slow my pace ever so slightly catching tou-san's attention but we continue… it's following us, keeping its distance but it's following us none the less… I think about warning the others but knowing Hidan he'll turn around and hunt our little stalker down before I could work out what they want… think first, kill after…

I can see a break in the trees ahead, FREEDOM! The trees thin out quickly and the scent of salt hits my senses suddenly, the trees having blocked it out before. It's some sort of port town, not overly big but thriving, the number of people is massive. Tou-san stops before the town "Alright my lovelies, we have about an hour before the boat leaves so we~' I zone out right there… boat…boat?… BOAT!

Memories of my old life rush me of boats, well to be more specific, sea sickness… the waves going up and down and up and down… urgh, even the thought is turning my stomach… please not a boat… I'd rather swim to Kiri than take a boat… I think I can feel myself turning a lovely shade of green… if this is happening now, what's being on the boat going to be like… actually I don't wanna know…

My thoughts of hurling my cookies over the edge of the boat are interrupted by that charka, its come back into range… definitely stalking us…

I send the others ahead telling I'll catch them up and that I just want to enjoy the view, the second they're gone I'm heading back into the forest, heading to the coordinates of this stalker… surprisingly, it continues forward, practically trying to meet me half way. I stop momentarily as I find it hard to concentrate on the target and move all at once. I close my eyes and send out my senses feeling and narrowing down onto that one heartbeat… it's moving stupidly fast… closer, closer, closer… heading right for me…

Closer, closer closer…. Why isn't it stopping?

I snap my eyes open out of my concentration as I am cannon-balled by something small with claws and fur, falling from my standing position to flat on my back with a thud.

A pair of long ears and chestnut fur meets my gaze as pale honey eyes stare down at me, whiskers twitching…. A rabbit…. A FUCKIN RABBIT!?

I narrow my eyes in a hateful glare… I FUCKIN' HATE RABBITS! "WHAT THE FUCK YOU LITTLE BOB-TAILED RAT!" I hiss angrily at the bloody demonic rodent. Its eyes narrow back at me… it's glaring at me? "Who are you calling rat pretty boy!" came an annoyed female voice… did… did the thing just talk back…. AHHHHHHHHH!

My muscles tense as I stare dumbfounded at the rabbit sitting on my chest glaring down at me. I guess I look pretty stupid since the she-rabbit began to laugh "Hahaha, you look really stupid kid!" she chuckles, lightly thumping its long back foot against me, it's fluffy front paws rubbing against its face.

I glare at it "what'd you expect; there ain't a lot of talkin' fuckin' rats in the world!" I snapped, I DON'T LIKE BEING LAUGHED AT BY A RAT!

The rabbit, once getting over its laughing fit notices my glare "you look like you're sucking on a lemon kid, what is with the sour look" she hums, obviously enjoying insulting me. I'M CURSED WITH RABBITS!

I can feel the vein on my forehead pulsate angrily "would you mind explainin to me… WHY YOUR SITTING ON MY CHEST AFTER LAUNCHING YOURSELF AT ME!?" I shout angrily.

The rabbits ears prick up, the left slightly flopping before a creepy smirk appeared… RABBITS SHOULDN'T SMIRK! "Alright pretty boy, I've decided I like you, you're a stupid gaki who can't tell the difference between a rabbit and a rat but I your chakra is formidable so you're going to be my new summoner"…. Eh? … WHO'S SHE CALLING GAKI!

"Like. Hell. NOW GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" I snarl shoving the she-rabbit off my chest and standing "I hate rabbits and I hate you, got fuck yourself!" I glare hatefully before turning to leave… big mistake

"STUPID GAKI, I WASN'T ASKING, I WAS TELLING YOU!" comes the she-rabbits growled, WHAT KINDA RABBIT _GROWLES?! _It's fast as a long fury foot comes flying, hitting me in the side of the head and knocking me off balance, _**fuck she kicks hard!**_

On instinct I counter with a punch however she dodges swiftly, biting down on my arm! LITTLE BITCH!

She flips away and lands with a light hop "you're not fast enough to hit me gaki, just give up and accept it; you're going to be my summoner!" I glare at her while redirecting the blood in my arm away from the wound to stop bleeding. I pout cutely, hoping this works "why are you so mean Usagi-chan that really hurt" I whimper, making my eyes glassy and forcing blood into my cheeks to make me blush.

Her eyes widen and her chestnut fur pales as I watch her soul escape anime style… is there anyone who is immune?

I bolt before she has time to recover, if I find Hidan he can sacrifice her and no more rat summoning crap!

I make it fast into the town, flaring my chakra to find them tow which I do! Thank you Jashin… No!

I speed to them, near knocking Hidan over "Rabbit, psycho, evil, summon, LITTLE BITCH!" I shout urgently, earning looks of confusion.

"YOU PLAY DIRTY GAKI!" is all the warning before I'm jumped by the devil rat sending my forward toppling both myself and Hidan over so that I'm on top, Yuki squealing about yaoi… THE RABBIT IS CURSED!

Hidan snarls beneath me, hand shooting out and grabbing the rat by the scruff and yanking it off my back "WHAT THE FUCK WHORE" he snarls in the rabbits face and… she spits in his eye… I'm gunna kill her… NO ONE SPITS ON MY FRIEND!

Everyone freezes as I give out more killing intent than I thought I could muster "I hate rabbits… no one disrespects my precious people AND LIVES TO TELL THE TALE!" I snarl, Tou-san yelping that is the second coming of the Lavender Fury before taking cover behind Yuki.

****** 10 minutes later ******

The devil rat is sitting in Yuki's arms with a sizable lump on her head, Hidan having a firm grip around my waist to stop me attacking the stupid fur ball any more while snarling how he's going to finish her off himself.

"Alright my darlings calm down" Tou-san smiles sweetly "My baby Junketsu, apologise to the Usagi summons for attacking her" he commands, his voice is sweet but his eyes are absolute… "Sorry rat-face" I mumble earning a growl from the demon. Tou-san's attention turns to the little devil "Usagi-san, apologise for upsetting my baby by spitting in Hidan's eye" the rabbit pouts before sighing "Sorry for spitting in your boyfriends eye, I should have spat in yours" I snarl as does Hidan _**"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" **_We both erupt together in anger. Tou-san restrains both of us by our clothes… I'm. Going. To. Kill. Her…

We sit at the dock, demon rabbit in toe, having only a few minutes to wait now for the boat, the she-rabbit demanding I sign her summoning scroll. "You're such a Gaki! It's an honour to receive the rabbit summoning, our clan is noble and waaay cooler than any other, and we practically shine with awesomeness! I can't believe~" I cut her off with a growl "I'm gunna kill you and make bunny BBQ for Hida-ass hole if you don't shut your rat trap! RAT-FACE!" I hiss

The she-rabbit growls with a glare "MY NAME IS KURI USAGI, YOUNGEST DAUGHTER OF THE RABBIT BOSS!" she snaps and I glare "WELL I'M NOT CALLED GAKI, its JUNKETSU MAKKA!"

We both look away with a pout… I hate rabbits….

The world spins as I'm thrown over Hidan's shoulder my team, plus the Kuri rat heading towards the boat… _SAVE ME!_


	25. Turning Green

**Chapter 25: Turning Green **

Urgh… I hate boats, why did it have to be boats… urgh… When we first got on the boat I thought I'd be fine, as I didn't instantly feel sick… oh how wrong can I get…. I'm clinging to the railings for dear life staring out over the edge into the dull bluish-green water, my head spinning and my stomach threatening to relieve itself of its contents… Again… HOW IS THERE**_ ANYTHING_** LEFT TO BRING UP?!

I feel my entire body shake; I've been here since about 20 minutes after we set of… that was about 4 or 5 HOURS ago… I'm begging you, make it stop… The boat will arrive tomorrow morning so I might be suck here until then… I'm gunna die...

The sun is setting… what a lovely back drop while my insides escape through my mouth, and the smell of sea salt and puke is near unbearable… this sucks~ once again retching over the edge, my body finding more to eject into the sea, **_WHERE IS IT ALL COMING FROM_!**

I feel my body shiver, all my muscles quivering… puking is exhausting…

"Still heaving gaki? Would have thought you'd have manned up by now" Came the sarcastic voice of Kuri the demon rat… I can't even puke in peace… "Fuck off rat face" is my weak reply as I tighten my grip on the railing for support. "Only if you sign my summoning and proclaim I'm the best" She says cheekily, I'm not going to get rid of her… fuck my life… "Anyways gaki, your boyfriend is getting worried about you" I glare at her "Not my boyfriend! JUST friends!" I hiss angrily, feeling a wave of nausea hit me "and I'm a cat summoning that shits rainbows, you two want each other" she stated in a matter-o-factly kinda voice, I turn to glare at her "You sound just like Yuki, why can't anyone see we're just friends?" I grumble, as the world spins a little less than it did a few minutes ago "Stupid pretty gaki boy, keep telling yourself that, it won't change the facts" she taunts with a smirk, ears perked up with the left flopping slightly, amber eyes a mix of amusement and pure evil. Stupid rabbit. "Once you've finished hacking your guts up, there's food… your sensei sent me to tell you… and if I was you I'd get below deck soon, the weather is going to turn cold" She sighed before hopping away the way she came.

I lean against the railing, allowing the breeze to ensnare my senses, feeling my heart slow and my breathing become rhythmical… if it wasn't for all the puking I could get used to this…

I stare out to sea, the light refracting of the surface, causing it to shimmer like liquid diamonds. The soft whisper in the wind from the crashing wave's inducing relaxation… The rats words sit in my head…why does everyone think me and Hidan are more than friends, we're close and we spend a lot of time together, we're practically inseparable and we know each other like the back of our hands, what makes each other tick, but that's because we've been friends for so long… it's completely normal for friends to know everything about each other… what do they see that I don't?

I'm lost in thought when I feel a familiar presence beside me, leaning on the railings and staring out at the whispering waves with me. I turn my head slightly to look at him, only noticing now how much he's changed. His jaw is strong and defined, powerful muscles in his neck leading down to broad shoulders, arms well developed from weapons and his stature matured, lean and muscular, built for power and able to move at a fair speed… he's no longer the child I met in the academy, he's becoming the Hidan I once watched, one of the most feared men in the shinobi world…

Magenta eyes turn to look at me, his eyes bright in the light of the dying sun and his slightly messy silver hair almost pink as is skin glows… When did the Hidan I know change so much? I stare at him for a few moments more before I smile thinly "You alright Hida?" I ask softly, still looking him in the eye. He's inspecting me carefully, giving me the once over as his magenta eyes soften "I should fuckin be asking you that" He smiles at me and I chuckle lightly "I've felt better but nothing overly terrible, shouldn't you be down stares where the food is, bet there's BBQ" We continue to stare at one another and he smiles just that bit more before sighing and leaning on the railing so that he can rest his head on his right palm with the left arm lying flat against the metal bar "I'll go down soon, just wanted to make sure you hadn't fuckin puked yourself to death or fallen overboard, if you drowned I'd be suck with the whore and your psycho tou-san" I giggle at the thought "Plus kaa-san would kill you for breaking your promise… _and_ I'd haunt your sorry ass" He pouts slightly before it dissolves into a contented smile. I breathe in deeply before sighing and pulling away from the rail with a smile "Com'on, if we hang around up here all day you'll bitch when you miss dinner" His eyes linger on me before he smiles and follows, throwing his right arm around my small shoulders "hell yeah!" I smile and we leave the dying rays of light behind, the liquid diamond sea whispering sweetly…

The temperature quickly drops as night rolls in, tou-san having sent us to bed telling us he'll watch tonight. Hidan and I are sharing a room while Yuki has one to herself much to her fury of being separated from her yaoi boys. The demon rabbit is Jashin knows where and I'm not about to give a shit right now, I'm exhausted and cold.

Pulling my sealing scroll from my pouch I open it and press the symbol with for my clothes, pouring chakra into it causing my clothes to appear. I quickly grab my usual sleeping shorts and large t-shirt before sealing my clothes again.

Hidan has done the same though he seems to only wear trousers in bed… when he wears anything at all… The room is small and there is nowhere to change in privacy so we do so with our backs facing one another. I can hear him whining about shirts as I change but he soon falls silent. Once I'm changed I turn to see Hidan gawking at me… WHAT THE **HELL**! I feel my cheeks burn up as if on fire "HIDA!?" I squeak as I receive a slightly perverted and evil smile from my zealot friend "You've seen all of me, I'm just evening the playing field… you really look like a bitch from the back" his smirk spread as I feel my cheeks darken… he, he… **PERVERT!**

I jump the pervert pushing him backwards to sit on his stomach with my legs straddling his hips before flicking him in the forehead "you're such a pervert, if you're not careful Yuki will really believe you fancy me and she'll stalk us even more" His cheeks are lightly flushed but he wears that smirk still "Like I give a crap what the whore thinks~" Suddenly we're spinning, Hidan reversing our positions so I'm beneath him, my legs still either side of him which makes me squirm "there are only 2 things I fuckin give a crap about in this shitty ass world, Jashin-sama and my best friend fuck-face, for all I care the entire shinobi world can rot in hell" he said all too darkly, staring me dead in the eye… It was never stated how old Hidan was when he rouged off… but I have a feeling it's not going to be long… he means what he said… his eyes tell me he isn't lying. I stare into his eyes and he stares back, those magenta orbs hold a secret, one that I want to know. This secret toys in his eyes as a dangerous glint hidden behind ambition and ferocious loyalty.

He smirks down at me "your cute when you're on your back and helpless" I glare at him "AM NOT YOU CREEY PERVERT" I hiss to which he chuckles, relinquishing his old and allowing me to sit up. It's cold when we separate, the temperature plummeting…** I HATE THE COLD!**

We get under the covers of our futons, the room in complete darkness. It's just getting colder and colder, this if fuckin ridiculous! I twist in the bedding to face Hidan who is buried in the blankets, just his silver hair poking out the top… apparently neither of us like the cold.

"Hida" I whisper to him in the darkness. I see the lump in the futon move before his head emerges to look at me. I squirm around to look at him properly "I'm so cold I think body parts are gunna start droppin off" I squeak. He stares at me for a moment before his eyes glint in the darkness, before he sits up and crawls across the floor with his covers. Slipping in my futon with me, the throws his blankets over us and pulls me into his chest. I think my entire body is glowing red with embarrassment but I snuggle closer into the warmth of his body, THE GUY IS A FREAKING HOT WATER BOTTLE!

I hear him hum as our bodies entwine, his arms tightening around me and his nose burying itself into my hair. That familiar scent of metal and blood that only Hidan possess making me relax. I like it when he hugs me, I'll never tell him that I like it but I think he knows.

I feel something lightly brush against my ear "Night Ketsu" came his close deep whisper sending electricity down my spine and my cheeks burn… in my old life, I'd have squealed like Yuki watching yaoi, But I'm a boy now so just curl up into his warmth "Night Hida" I mumble against his shirtless chest. His blood swirls around his veins quickly, feeling his heart beat beginning to slow as we both become more relaxed in our sleeping arrangement, I guess we're both a little embarrassed… but it's not bad.

The rhythmical beating in his chest lulls me into relaxation as I feel the gentle grip of sleep take over…

…

…

…

"GAKI, GAKI'S BOYFRIEND GET UP!"

My eyes snap open in confusion only to be blinded by bright light streaming in from the window… I'M GOING TO DECAPITATE THIS RABBIT LIKE I DID MY STUFFED ONE!

I feel a tightening around my waist as I'm pulled backwards into Hidan's body, his nose burying itself into my shoulder. My cheeks burn up helplessly, you'd think being a blood user I could stop blushes as I can make them… nope… I'm doomed…

"Hida-ass hole, we gotta get up and kill rat face" … no movement except me being nuzzled more… "Hida-ass hole, Yuki's naked and has come out as a Yuri fan girl"… no response but a contented sigh… I'm gunna have to pull out the big guns… please don't let Yuki be nearby… "Hida-ass hole, I've been meaning to tell you I'm secretly gay and desperately in love with Usagi-sensei"… suddenly I'm spinning, my back slamming against the futon with my arms pinned either side of me, wild magenta eyes staring down at me burning with fury… maybe I went a little too far…

Every muscle in his chest ripples, his jaw is tense and his face looks dangerously angry… yep too far… "WHAT DO YOU MEAN _IN LOVE_ WITH USAGI SHITHEAD?! NO MAN IS _ALLOWED_ TO TOUCH YOU!, YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO BE ANYONE FUCKIN ELSES!" he shouts with a snarl, eyes taking on a wounded spark like I just stabbed him with a kunai … Didn't expect that reaction… anyone else's?, when did I belong to someone in the first place? … He must hate Usagi-sensei even more than_** me** _to react _THIS_ badly

"Now that I have your attention, it's time to get up" He looks confused momentarily before glaring at me, his cheeks lightly pink "I'm going to kill you, YOU SCARED THE LIVING SHIT OUTTA ME!" Suddenly there's a sadistic gleam in his eyes… crap…I try and escape bit his vice like grip holds as it yanks both my arms above my head so he can hold me still with one… the gleam growing…

*** 3rd POV***

Yuki and Kuri wandered through the boats halls, hoping to get the boys out of bed. They had already been called but had yet to emerge. "Stupid Gaki and gaki boyfriend, pair of lazy asses" Kuri growled in annoyance as she hopped along, Yuki giggling beside her "their yaoi boys, they're most likely dressing while denying their undying love for each other… wish they'd just go at it like rabbits already… no offence Kuri-chan" The rabbit glared at her but let the comment slide.

"Hida wait, please stop I can't take any more!" came a shrill cry causing both rabbit and girl to freeze momentarily "Just take your punishment like a good boy Ketsu" came a quieter yet almost devilishly deep voice…

Yuki's eyes suddenly filled with stars "MY YAOI BOYS!" She squealed before taking off down the hall, Kuri following after her.

The door opened to reveal a disappointing sight….

Hidan was tickling the purplnette boy beneath him who squirmed and desperately tried to suppress giggles "Hida, no more, haha, please!" Yuki's head dropped "DAMMIT! WHY AREN'T YOU TWO FUCKING! I WANTED A SEXY PICTURE FOR MY HIDAJUNKET COLLECTION!" she whined while the she-rabbit just laughed at the sight. Both boys froze before looking embarrassed and escaping "FUCK OFF!" they snarled before slamming their door.

***Back to Junketsu POV***

After being near tickled to death, we changed fast, leaving the room and went out to find out what was so dam important we needed waking up, Since waking up I'm starving but the thought of food sends my insides doing summersaults… no more puke I beg thee!

Making it on desk I see why we're being summoned… in the not so distance, there is an island in view, heavily masked in thick mist… the land of water…I've never been so relieved and mortified in my entire second life… on one hand, SWEET LAND! On the other, ONE STEP CLOSER TO DEATH!

Soon we are in port and are once more safely on dry land, OH HOW I'VE MISSED YOUR UNMOVING WAYS! We spend a few minutes having something to eat whilst tou-san checks the maps… if he picks another scenic root I'll gut him…

"ALRIGHT MY DARLINGS! FOLLOW MEEEE!" Comes tou-sans happy squeal as he shakes his booty again… please don't do that when we get to Kiri… they'll disqualify us thinking we're a joke…

We move fast through the tree tops, tou-san first, me and Hidan pulling up on the sides, the rat rabbit between us and Yuki coming from behind. "Gaki, you know if you signed my scroll you could summon my older brothers to carry the team and save energy" the she-devil chimes as we glide from tree to tree "I'm not signing rat-face" I hiss angrily. She glares at me "Gaki" "big-ears" "Pretty boy" "little bitch" "daddy's boy" "Bob-tailed rat" We glare at each other before looking away, stupid rabbit…

The rest of the journey is relatively quiet except a little bickering between me and the rat or Hidan and Yuki… the further in land we get the more mist there seems to be, I feel my insides tangle , we must be getting close… Please for the love of all things unholy, let me stay alive… I just don't wanna die…

Tou-san stops dead on a tree staring forward… I feel my heart beat faster… before us, clouded in the thickest mist I've ever experienced is a large gate, tall rounded buildings seem to blur into the mountainous scenery and the concentration of chakra is daunting… We have arrived…

* * *

_**AN:/:**_

_**wow... I never thought I'd get 100 follows...Arigatō the support! ^.^**_


	26. The Bloody Mist Village

**Chapter 26: The Bloody Mist Village**

We approach the gate and I feel eyes on us sending chills running up my spine as waves of killing intent bombards my senses… I bite my tongue a take a deep breath before setting my features into a neutral mask to hide my rising panic, I will not show fear to them, I will not…

The guards look us over as tou-san approaches them first, for once acting like a shinobi and not an idiot. "Greetings, we're a team from Yugakure here to participate in the chunin exams" he states firmly. The guard looks at the passes before looking our team over, his hardened eyes scrutinising us before growling "You may enter, The other guard will escort you to the Mizukage tower for further instructions~" out of nowhere I feel a powerful presence land gracefully behind us with a chuckle, The other two jump but I remain still, turning slightly I am greeted with a sight I did not expect…

Pastel blue skin and dark blue hair greets my eyes as black eyes glint dangerously and a razor sharp toothy grin makes my heart stop momentarily… KISAME! Must. Not. Fan boy… Must. RESIST! …Samehada's handle is just about noticeable over his shoulder… RESIST… _**RESIST!**_

"I'll take them" comes his deep snarling voice with a slight chuckle as the guard flinches slightly… Crap he's scary. Tou-san nods warily and I think Yuki is about to pass out with terror. Hidan looks a little rattled by the sheer amount of killing intent that Kisame gives off like crashing waves but I can't bring myself to stop staring in awe… Black eyes stare down at our team, seemingly amused with Yuki and Hidan's reactions but he gives me a longer look, almost interested… I stare back, unflinching even as his killing intent rises making even tou-san a little jumpy. His blood is calm as it swirls in his veins, his heart a slow beat compared to the frantic slamming of Yuki and Hidan's frightened beats… "Would you quit freakin my team mates out, Hoshigaki-San, I don't appreciate it" Come my neural voice, I know it's a bad Idea but I can't seem to stop it coming out… WORD VOMIT!

The massive shark stares down at me slightly bemused before smirking "Looks like this year could be fun" The killing intent subsides and begins to walk off. After a second of watching I follow, yanking Hidan and Yuki along, the demon rabbit that's been blissfully quiet catching up and Tou-san follows too.

I keep pace with the shark and I can feel eyes on my team and flares of killing intent. I was freaking out before but now I feel calm and unfazed. I simply walk and stare forward, the blood in my veins whispering encouragement… though there is that niggling worry of what will happen… I don't know who is Mizikage… meaning Kisame is still here… I fear the worst… I just hope I'm wrong.

We stand before the largest cylindrical building, the Symbol for water proudly displayed over the door way… I feel the calm I was feeling waver as the building looms over me… fuck, fuck, FUCK! We walk in, no one stopping us due to our guide however we get many dirty looks… it's as if they can **smell **kekeigenkai!… _They can't can they?!_ …

Through a maze of corridors and stares that twist in a confusing way… we are before a door. The pastel skinned swordsman knocks before opening the door "A team from Yugakure has arrived for the chunin exams, sir"

NOOOOOOOOOOO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! I can feel my blood run cold at sir… he's still in power, I'm dead… so dead, I can practically see my head on a pike outside the village… _WHY!?_

I stand before a young looking male, his hair messy a grey with purple pupil-less eyes the left having a scar running all the way down his cheek…Yagura… fourth Mizukage, 3 tailed Jinchuriki and under the control of 'Madara'… For the holy mother of Satan, WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS SHITTY SECOND LIFE?! Without Mei, this village still hates kekeigenkai…If they find out about Yuki and I will be murdered… this sucks cock…

Those pupil-less purple eyes look up from what they are doing to look at us, his face unwavering and neutral. I do everything in my power not to flinch but it's near impossible as I feel my fingers twitch against my will. I can feel the slow heart beats of the ANBU level shinobi in hiding around the room, the frantic ones of my team… apparently they're even more unnerved than I am, none of us have stood before a Kage-level shinobi before, it's daunting…even Hida-ass hole our resident loud mouth knows better than to start mouthing off…

"The exam starts in 3 days… you'll be staying nearby, Kisame escort them…" … alright… that was… short… HELL, WHO AM I TO COMPLAIN? ... The less time with him the less likely I'm gunna die!

I feel eyes, not on me so much, more eyeing my neck… I look down to stare at my clan necklace, all members wear one… oooh… I look up nervously to stare into pupil-less purple which are staring at me and tou-san in a calculating way… please don't put two and two together… "You two are of the same clan" he states… it's not a question… I feel my mouth dry… WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT NOT PUTTING TWO AND TWO TOGETHER?! _**BAD MIZUKAGE!**_ …. Like I have the balls to say that… "Yes, due to his large chakra I was given special permission to train him so he would not be a danger" tou-san interjected smoothly… SOME TIMES I THINK TOU-SAN IS THE BEST!

"Young" Kisame states and tou-san is there again "7 years" he proclaims all too proudly and I flinch, turning my gaze on tou-san and glaring in a 'stop telling people things about me!' kinda way… tou-san flinches a little and Kisame chuckles all too darkly "and feisty…" there is an awkward silence before we are dismissed… I nearly shat myself with panic… I'm going to murder tou-san for telling people so much about me… slow and painful…

We walk through the streets of Kiri, the burn of so many eyes near unbearable... We make it to an apartment building and are given a key, Hidan and me sharing a room, Yuki and tou-san have their own. The demon rabbit stating that she's sleeping where she pleases. With that Hidan and I are out of there to map the lay of the land… it might come in useful.

The mist is difficult and the air is colder than we're used to, the land of boiling water being very warm due to sharing borders with the land of fire. We travel through the shadows and trees, memorising important landmarks and places to train.

"I don't like this fuckin village, they look at us like shit" Hidan snarls while we leap from tree to tree. "we're outsider, it's to be expected" I sigh but Hidan growls "And the way they keep askin' questions about you, it's none of their fuckin business, yeah your young but what the fuck does that matter?!" I look at him for a moment before smiling "it's unusual is all… young genin under the age of 10 are usually looked at weirdly… kids who graduate early are normally geniuses or prodigies" I leave out that most villages would want to nip another's villages prodigies in the bud before they can mature, I think he'd start swearing hard then wrap me in bubble wrap… besides, I don't consider myself a genius or prodigy, I have an unfair advantage so was able to progress faster. I already knew a lot of the stuff from being a Naruto stalker in my past life; if I had been dropped in this world with no knowledge of it I'd most likely still be in the academy playing ninja with the other kids my age… that is a HORRIBLE thought…

We stop in a remote part of the misty forest within the villages confines. Hidan's been twitchy since arriving "Hey Hida?" I ask softly, Magenta eyes look at me "Do ya wanna train a little; since we started travelling here we haven't had any time for it, so?" He smirks, gracefully spinning his scythe with his fingers before holding it firmly in his closed hand. We stand at the ready, the mist unwavering.

Hidan charges me, scythe launched. I back flip away allowing it to pass over my head as it embeds its blades into a tree trunk, I get up close and personal forcing him to abandon his scythe for taijutsu.

The traumatic training with kaa-san has taught me how to enhance my muscles with chakra better, resulting in more powerful punches… the woman is _very_ hands on so I had no choice but to improve fast if I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in hospital. That coupled with manipulating my blood in my body to become denser to cause more damage has made my taijutsu formidable. Even kaa-san was impressed with it.

Hidan seems a little taken back by the change in my style as I block his blows with relative ease while landing some nasty blows to his ribs and jaw causing him to stumble backwards. "You've improved fuck face" he commented with a smirk. I smile back at him "The Lavender Fury is a slave driver, never fuck with kaa-san" He visibly shudders "no shit" I giggle as I throw a flurry of Kunai which Hidan evades, leaving an opening.

"Game over" I purr into his ear as I raise a kunai to his throat, having flickered behind him. "Never let your enemy get behind you, Kay ass-hole?" I smile sweetly and giggle as he chuckles "lucky you're not my bloody enemy then" I lower my weapon before replacing it in my kunai pouch

"You fuckin improve fast, it's unnatural how fast… maybe I should get some of that crazy ass training from your kaa-san" I sigh "It's hell, she poisons you if you get things wrong… I nearly die every session, that coupled with her unorthodox ways of teaching the human anatomy~" I feel a shiver dart up at my spine "~makes her lessons a little traumatic, I don't wanna know where she learnt her methods, most likely from sadistic medic with a dark sense of humour" Hidan smirks "Come on, let's go see where is good to eat, we haven't fuckin eaten actual food since the boat, where you spent most of your time bring up your bloody internal organs" he laughs manically at that to which I pout "You're such a sadist" I whine before being thrown over Hidan's shoulder "fuck yeah, wouldn't have me any other shitting way though" I smile "I dunno, a few more brain cells wouldn't go amiss… and manners…" I giggle as he growls, He knows I'm just teasing, we both know he's an idiot, but he's my idiot…


	27. Friendlier Terms and Icy Acquaintances

**Chapter 27: Friendlier Terms and Icy Acquaintances **

The nights in Kiri are fucking freezing, the night we spent on the boat is the Bahamas in comparison! As a result Hidan and I shared again; he's like my own half naked personal heater.

It's still early, freakishly early, as in WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING AWAKE? Kinda early. Wrapped around me, Hidan is sleeping soundly, nose buried in my shoulder and Silver hair untamed, his chest rises and falls rhythmically as his heart beats at a relaxed pace. I lay there in silence; I've been like this for a while now… I had hoped I'd fall back to sleep but the longer I stare up at the ceiling the more I know it's futile… I'm restless… this village is unsettling, maybe because I know 'Madara' is pulling the strings… either way I feel like I could fight a war… scratch that, I'm not willing that to come faster… I don't want to change anything… not on purpose, I'm not meant to be here, I'm a mistake…

The world outside is silent, however I can feel chakra moving around the village, more than in the night, indicating the village is beginning to awaken… I feel another wave of restlessness rush me and I sigh… if I'm not gunna sleep I'm gunna train, STUPID MIST FUCKIN WITH MY SLEEP!

I'm careful as I untangle myself from the sleeping zealot, gently his grip around me loose before pulling the sheets up around him so he doesn't get cold… I silently change, folding my sleeping clothes and putting on my usual clothes and slipping on my shoes and heading towards the door…

"And where do you think you're going Gaki" Kuri hissed, the second the door was open she was in front of me with a glare, her left ear more drooped more than usual, most likely only just woken up. I glare at the demon "None of your business rat" I quietly snarl.

POW!

Her foot collides with my stomach hard making me double over… I'M GOING TO RIP THAT FOOT OF HER BODY! "Who you calling rat!? stupid gaki! You are my business!" she hissed angrily as she landed with a hop, rearing herself onto her back legs, front paws swiping at me… our eyes meet in a glare, bolts of electricity sparking from us and we growl at one another… I HATE HER!

I look away with a pout "training" I grunt before stepping over her and closing the door. I'd hoped I was done with the demonic rodent but the sound of 4 paws thumping behind me on the wooden floor told me otherwise… joy…

I head into the forest, away from the main part of the village so I can train in privacy. The mist is dense and shrouds the forest in mysteries, much like the fairy tales I used to read when I was a little girl in another life, the trees more sparse than the land of fire and even the land of boiling water while the sound of bird call is faint and sad, echoing ominously in the dull rays of first light… in a way it's kinda beautiful in a monotone sort of way…

Finding a small clearing I descend from the treetops and land carefully on the balls of my feet, soon followed by the soft thud of the she-rabbit landing close by. I begin to warm up, stretching my muscles and rolling my shoulders before beginning a routine a gymnast would be proud off, starting off simple but working my way into more intricate dance of twists and flips, hearing the blood rush through my body to feed my muscles with oxygen. Soon I begin to incorporate taijutsu, aiming balanced kicks and chakra laced punches, every muscle carefully controlled and manipulated to allow for maximum damage. I never hit Hidan full force, he'd be out cold. My fist connects with a nearby tree, causing the trunk to splinter harshly and tremble under the force.

I glare at the splintered wood, pulling my hand back to examine the damage… not good enough… if I'm going to pass, I have a lot of work to do… I'm assuming that the exam here is going to be set up similarly to the one in Naruto Unleashed, a written exam, a practical exam and then a show of skill which mean I have over a month to train till I'm confident…I know I'm smart enough and have good servival skills… however I have no idea who I'll be facing and I'm not taking any chances, I will pass if only to escape kaa-sans trip training hell…

I build up my chakra, once again striking the tree, feeling the wood splinter and crack… I'll get better even if I have to fell every tree in the land of water… I need something that isn't my kekeigenkai, I don't want to have to use that here…

"Oi gaki, if you want to make your punches stronger, concentrate it better in you knuckles and fingers" I glare at her momentarily however she's glaring at me in a silent dare to argue… I can't believe I'm taking advice from a bob-tailed rat…

My chakra floods my fingers and knuckles and upon impact The tree does not splinter… it near explodes, creaking before toppling down… wow… "I snap my eyes on the she-rabbit who is laughing "Your face gaki, you look stupid!" she cackles while rolling around on her back in the grass" I glare at her "SHUT IT BIG EARS!" I hiss before sighing "thank you" I mumble and her laughing ceases, honey amber eyes staring at me dumbfounded "what was that gaki, my big ears didn't ear you" she taunts with a smirk. I growl low "Thank. You" I ground out between clenched teeth which only seemed to add to her amusement "pleasure gaki, I need my stubborn future summoner to be strong" she purred… I swear she's a mutant of other animals… SHE MAKES THE WRONG NOISES!

"I'm not going to be your summoner, I. Hate. Rabbits" I glared to which she growled "well it sucks to be you then because you're GOING to sign my scroll sooner or later… you're going to NEED a summons and you're not escaping me" she vowed, a serious look of determination flooding her honey eyes.

"Why are you so focused on me? we don't really get on, I hate rabbits and all you do is piss me off… we're obviously not copatable so why bother stalking me?" I question… it's been bugging me that I don't know why the demon is so determined, now is as good a time as any

large honey eyes soften and she lowers her head from her confinent stance to something akin to shyness… eh?… the demon has a soft side? "If you ask any rabbit summon they'll tell you I was chosen to be the rabbit scroll carer because I'm the boss rabbits youngest… but I was choosen because tou-san thinks I'm weak… I'm the only girl of my clan… my brothers being warriors… he decided a girl wasn't allowed to be a warrior so made me be the scroll carer…I wanna prove I'm strong like my brothers so I'd find a summoner who had a unique chakra to sign… I'd then train them up and when tou-san sees how well I've done… maybe consider me useful…" both her ears have fallen limp while honey amber eyes are down cast, her body curled around herself in an almost protective way… I guess everyone has their reasons…even demon rabbits

"so you choose a rabbit hating kid… great choice" I sigh but don't put the usual vemon in my words… my previous self feeling sympathetic, I know what it's like to be considered useless…

"To be fair gaki… I thought you were older… your chakra speaks of an adult somewhere in their mid twenties… it indicates at least high chunin verging on Jonin… I didn't expect a little genin gaki…but you being a kid made it all the sweeter, you can learn faster and you're more flexible to learn rabbit style taijutsu…" kuri rat face is still, looking almost defeated, ears completely flat with her small head resting on her paws… I won't fall for her sob story…

"That's a stupid reason, just to impress your tou-san… you shouldn't give a toss what he thinks of you, so what if you're a girl, kunoichi have been shown to be even more formidable than men at times, look at Kushina Uzumaki the red hot Habanaro and the Lavender Fury, both are women but excel at what they do and feared for their skill, besides any idiot can tell you hit hard… especially when it's me… THAT'S NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON FOR ME TO SIGN!" She stares at me dumbfounded for a moment before an evil smirk crosses her rodent features. "I WAS HOLDING BACK WHEN I KICKED YOU GAKI!" She hissed before launching herself at me. I juck just in time, het paw making contact with a nearby rock, stattering it…note to self, NEVER let her kick you again… EVER!

I feel a shift in mood from depressing to something more pleasant, not quite happy but far brighter than what it once was. "Alright rat, are you just gunna sit and watch me train or are you going to get of your fury ass and do something" I taunt earning a half-hearted glare "I'm going to beat the living crap out of you" she hissed, moving her body into a ready position…

Our spars hit fast and hard, the small clearing looking more like a bomb site as we dodge harsh blows and spit venomous words of insult, name calling being all too prominent in our clash. Her style prefers being low to the ground, being small she easily glides around my guard; however I get in several good hits, using my new found strength to my advantage.

By the time we're done we're both panting heavily though I more than her, keeping up with such speed is hard, even with my own… however, beating the rabbit black and blue has shown me something… I need to improve as fast as possible… I need to be ready for when Hidan leaves, I can tell he's not going to stay grounded for long by the look he gets when he curses the village… I have to be ready for whatever I decide to do when that day comes… Maybe I'll leave too, maybe I'll wait till this village fails and find another to call home… maybe travel to leaf and take Naruto under my wing… but I don't want to change the story any more… I've already changed Hidan, he's no longer a complete baka and he knows more than just basic ninjutsu… When the Akatsuki find him they'll be getting an improved version of him… one that might face Shika pineapple head and not get buried alive… The mental image of Hidan being ripped to bits and being buried alive sends chills up my spine… at the end of the day the zealot is my friend and the idea of that happening to him turns my insides…

My train of though is interrupted by an unknown chakra, it's of fair size and moves almost as fast as Kuri… I spring to my feet not liking the idea of being caught off guard by an unknown…

I see a blurred shape of brown, white and deep green which dances like fluid through the branches, I catch a glimps of a mask which hits me like a ton of bricks, I know those red swirls… HAKU! ... I FORGOT HOW MANY COOL SHINOBI WERE FROM KIRI!

Apparently my staring hasn't gone unnoticed as the effeminate boy pauses, landing gracefully on a branch, silently staring…

The closer I look at him the more I realise… THE ANIME DOESN'T DO HIS GIRLYNESS JUSTICE! His shape is not that of a boy, his body showing gentle curves, hips lightly rounded ang his posture just screaming I AM A GIRL!

"it's rude to share Yugakure shinobi" comes that fermilliar voice though it's slightly higher than the anime… he's just about my age… maybe slightly older but not as old as Hida or Yuki. I smile at him "Sorry about that Mr. ANBU, I just thought your mask was cool" I lie smoothly… feeling a little giddy about taking to_ the_ Haku. I can feel him searching my voice and body language for a lie but I'm a pretty good liar, not that I lie often…

"Aren't you very young to be here for the exams, you're so small" I pout lightly at that, making Kuri demon laugh… _**IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M SHORT!**_ "So everyone keeps telling me…but it's no different to you, you seem just as young as me" I hear a soft laugh from behind the milky porcelain mask "You have a point… though you seem younger than myself" It's at this moment when Kuri jumps in "Gaki, stop talking to cross dressers and train with me! FOR ALL YOU KNOW HE'S SOME KINDA PERVERT!" I turn my glare on her "SHUT IT YOU BOB-TAILED RAT! IT WOULDN'T MATTER IF HE'S A PERVERT ANYWAYS MEANING MY TEAM IS FULL OF THEM!" I growl, Kuri's honey amber eyes and my pinkie red as we glare at one another, sparks of lightning electrifiying the air…

Behind us I hear a soft giggle "you and your summon are quite strange… I've never met a pair quite so unique" Both Kuri and I look away from one another with a pout "unique is just a nice way of saying weird… the girls are the weird ones~" I'm interrupted by the demon rat ~what? And you and your boyfriend aren't? And your sensei!? HE'S THE CREEPIEST OF ALL OF YOU!" I hiss pulling out senbon "HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" my senbon rush at the little demon who bolts out the way with a taunting smirk "And I'm the Hokage! STUPID GAKI IS BLIND!"

Before I can launch myself into a war with the demon I spin around to face Haku "I gotta kill a rabbit, maybe I'll see you again~" I spin back yanking out more senbon "GET RUNNING YOU LITTLE WHORE FROM HELL! YOU'RE DEAD WHEN I CATCH YOU!"

I bolt off after a flash on chestnut lightning, leaving a lightly chuckling Haku in the trees, STUPID RABBIT RUINING MY CONVERSATION!


	28. Bloody Promises and Blackmail

**Chapter 28: Bloody Promises and Blackmail**

We've been in Kiri for a couple days now and I've seen other headbands begin to pop up, a few leaf, sand and stone, the odd cloud and even few of the small villages like grass and waterfall. The atmosphere is tense, as in **FUCK I'M BEING CRUSHED BY THE SHEER DENSITY OF KILLING INTENT IN THE AIR!** Apparently, I'm not the only ones who's noticed… tou-san is stickin to his 'little darlings' like a fly to shit… my poor individual training is out the window… _dammit…_

As we speak I'm cooped up the apartment thing we're staying in, sitting with Hidan in our room while Kuri is sleeping on the futon pillow… it's early but it's necessary as today…. The chunin exams begin…

I'm expecting a written exam but I still pack more weapons than usual, the mist genin are out for blood, anyone's blood… it's not going to be mine!

Even Hidan has realised the risk and is packing heavy, scythe being sharpened and his kunai pouch and shuriken holster are fit to burst.

Yuki… is relying on us weapons wise saying that she'll just boil them to death but she doesn't really seem to get the idea that _**SHE CAN'T USE HER KEKEIGENKAI UNLESS SHE WANTS TO FUCKIN DIE!**_ Even if she could make it look like some weird jutsu she'd still be screwed… Hidan and I can't protect her all the time… and Kuri calls me the stupid gaki… She doesn't seem to understand the danger she's in, it's not like I really care if she's too stupid to get it, I just need to keep her alive… I don't really wanna have to return to Yugakure with her in a body bag… she'd be a bitch to drag back…

…

Have I really become that numb to death that I don't care if someone dies? This world is fucked up…but I'm worse meanin I'm not bothered by the fact I don't care… I guess it means I'm becoming a true shinobi… joy…

"Fuckin bitch whore should pack her own fuckin weapons, when she dies I'm goin to fuckin laugh my ass off" Hidan snarled beside me, running a sharpening stone over the blade of his scythe, grinding the metal to lethally sharp. I sigh and set weapons out into neat bundles on my sealing scroll before setting the seals. "Between us we've got enough weapons to start a war, her not packing any shouldn't be a problem… even if it's bloody annoyin it's all left to us." Hidan smirks at that "at least we get some action, fuckin finally, we're gunna tear the heathen opposition apart, Jashin-Sama will be pleased" He purrs with a menacing gleam in his eye causing me to smirk myself "we're going to be chunin in no time… Yuki needs work but you and I are already there… I know it"

Magenta eyes sparkle brightly as we stare at one another, both of us exuding confidence "Together… we're gunna fuckin make it… together, the world will tremble with fear of lord Jashin, we're goin to be bloody great one day, ya know that fuck face, great" he purred. I feel my smirk, become a smile. I pull out a kunai and slice my right palm before holding my hand out to Hida "promise?" I ask, staring into those familiar eyes that gaze into my very sole. He takes the Kunai, slicing his right palm cleanly as I did before entwining the fingers of our bloodied hands, pressing them together firmly. I feel my blood mingle with his, entwining like our fingers, becoming one and the same "I promise" he vows solemnly, our eyes never once leaving one another… If anyone else had promised me that I'd shrug it of… but I believe Hidan… His word is worth more than a thousand promises… those eyes cannot lie to me, they wouldn't if they could… I trust him…

I send a flow of warm healing chakra through my hand, the cuts healing in the pale purple glow of my chakra, leaving a small scar as a reminder of our promise.

Most people have blue chakra, medics usually have green and tailed demons have red in the anime, something I noticed, the only person I've seen in the anime to have purple are Orochimaru and Sasuke's curse mark… but my purple isn't like theirs. Mine is pale lavender. It's vibrant and bright and swirls fluidly like water… Until Kuri mentioned my chakra being 'unique' I never paid much attention to it and just assumed Chakra could be any colour… but since the demon pointed it our I've realised, no one has the same chakra as me, no clan member, kaa-san has a bright green, tou-san a dark blue, Hidan a blue with the odd pink spark, Yuki with a pale blue… even in Kiri it's either blue or green… no pale purple… maybe I'm over thinking it but maybe it's different from everyone else's for a reason… because I'm not originally of this world, maybe it's affected my chakra some how and made me different from everyone else, like a sign I'm different… it's only a theory but it's plausible…

I've only just realised that my fingers are still entwined with Hidan's… I've no idea how long we're sat like this, hands firmly gripped together but it doesn't feel wrong or awkward, Hidan seems to feel the same as he's made no move to let go, in fact he's holding tighter than before, as if afraid to let go. I tear my eyes from our hands to his face. His eyes glisten with some emotion I can't quite read, but it's soft and sure, quietly confident in itself to remain sparkling in those deep magenta pools

_**FLASH!**_

"**I KNEW YOU TWO WERE GAY GAKIS!**" Comes a high pitch screech from beside me. I snap my head around to look at Kuri, fully awake and smirking like a cheshite cat with a camera between her paws…. On no….

"I wonder how Yuki will react if she sees you and Hidan having an intimate moment, holding hands and staring into one another's eyes like love sick puppies… she'll never you alone again… isn't that right?" Kuri demons face near splits in half as she smirks, a dark humor switling in her honey eyes.

I feel myself pale, my blood running cold…. **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY JASHIN! I DON'T DEREVE THIS!**

The bob-tailed rat giggles evily, verging on a cackle making me tence… I knew rabbits were demons! I KNEW IT! "So gaki… lets make a deal, I give you the picture IF you sign my summoning scroll… seems fair… right?" Hidan is still gripping my hand, I can feel his heart frantically beating, his cheeks lightly flushed.

The rabbit isn't a demon…. IT'S SATAN IN A FURY JACKET! I send my blood through my skin, sending it after the rabbit how twirls and dodges with ease "TOO SLOW GAKI!" she giggles and I hiss "GET BACK HERE YOU FUCKIN WHORE DEMON!" I snarl, getting to my feat and relinquishing my hold on Hidan's hand to give chase. THE BITCH IS GOIN DOWN! BUNNY BBQ FOR DINNER!

We twist and swirl around the room, her evading me at every turn, her style is graceful and near ridiculously fast, Might Guy would be proud it that fast!

The door opens to reveal my female team mate "What's going on in here, I was hoping for Yaoi!" She whines with a pout. Kuri makes a break for Yuki and I feel everything slow down "Yuki, I got something to~" I have to stop it "_I'LL SIGN_!" is all I can screech, at all cost… Yuki can never see that picture, **EVER!**

The demon rabbit smirks, camera disappearing in a flash, replaced with a large scroll, it's outer lining a pale orange, decorated with green swirls and tied with a blue rope. It automatically unravelled, a few names and finger prints decorating the page… I hate the rabbit… balling blood through my finger tips writing my name and printing the finger prints of my right hand on the page beneath my name.

Kuri smirks, the scroll rolling up on it's own and disappearing into a cloud of smoke. I glare at the brown furred demon "I. Hate. You" I hiss to which she smirks "like I care, you're stuck with me now gaki"

Yuki, who is still standing in the doorway giggles "Common Yaoi boys, we're going to leave for the first exam soon" I sigh heavily… this just isn't my day… fuck my life…

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**AN:/:**

**I FOUND A NEW INTERNET SOURCE! who'd thought that the local cristian library would allow me to write yaoi... HEHEHEHE!**


	29. Let the Games Begin!

**Chapter 29: Let the Games Begin**

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**IMPORTANT AN! - READ AT BOTTOM!**

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Today just isn't my day… Jashin really has it out for me… My day started off with having to wake up at stupid o'clock in the morning to prepare for the chunin exams, next I'm black mailed by the stupid demon rat into signing the rabbit summoning scroll so I'm stuck with the fury devil and now… I have to sit a written exam… just fuckin great… Can't I just go back to bed and pretend today didn't happen? Please?

Right now I'm sitting next to Hidan on the floor of the waiting room for the exam, the second I entered I've been glared at… I'M THE FREAKING YOUNGEST THERE BY AT LEAST 3 YEARS! Because of this they're all glaring at me like I'm either a threat or a prime target… Just. Great…

Hidan is glaring daggers at anyone who dares come near us, exuding killing intent while wearing a twisted smirk which promises untold amounts of pain and suffering. Thanks to him, we've got a wide birth, but it doesn't stop the staring… if anything it's only made it worse… couple that with Kuri mouthing off about how her summoner is going to beat the living crap out of everyone in the chunin exams and I have a fan club of blood thirsty genin with more experience than myself glaring at me and promising my death… yeah, that's just how _great_ my day is turning out…

I stare out into the sea of people, my eyes cautiously looking over unknown faces… it seems no one from the main cast is here…the one good part is that I'm not going to run into them… I want as little to do with the story line as possible…I've already met 3 people I shouldn't have, 4 if you count Hida… all I ask is nothing dodgy, I just wanna live through this and get promoted… is that really too much to ask?

There's a sudden poof of smoke, I would have been surprised if I hadn't been expecting it… My eyes glide to the commotion then stop… My pinkie-red irises gaze over unknown faces of the proctors, they're not main characters which I can't help but smile at, if I'm lucky no more main characters will makes themselves known and I can just pass these tests, become chunin and go home with Hidan. No more problems, no more issues…. NO MORE MAIN CAST CONTACT!

I want **NOTHING** to do with the plot, I'm **NOT** going to go around and change things… I'm **NOT** going to intervene, they can sort it all out on their own… I'm not meant to be here, I was some freaky accident and have already messed up the story enough without doing anything else…I'm just going to reach jonin, lay low and avoid the main cast at all cost… **ESPECIALLY** the leaf, Akatsuki and tailed beasts… Even if I am here for a reason other than Jashin screwin me over, I'm not fuckin this around… I gotta game plan and I'm stickin to it…

I've only just realised that I am ignoring the proctors' ramblings about the first exam… _**WHEN THE HELL DID HE START TALKIN?!**_

"~Everyone take a numbered counter and it'll tell you where your sitting" _CRAP I MISSED IT ALL!_ Everyone begins filing into the specified room taking a counter from a box which coincides with a numbered seat…Yuki being bang up front in the middle number 5, Hidan being on the hard left near the back being number 61 and me…. I'm on in the middle right, having 3 people to my right and 6 on my left… number 34…

The room is dotted with higher ranking mist shinobi who are watching the exam… for mist shinobi… none of them look very scary… don't get me wrong I know they're not _all_ the demonic spawn of Satans loins but considering the majority of the mist shinobi highlighted in the manga and anime all looked like living chakra tanks from the deepest recesses of hell *cough* Kisame and Zabuza *cough* … I had assumed majority of them would follow along similar lines… apparently not… spoil sports…

I've zoned out again, only being brought back when Kuri sinks her teeth into my arm "SON OF A WHORE! WHAT THE HELL YOU CUNT OF A RABBIT!" I snarl at the top of my voice, the demon rabbit sprawled out on my desk laughing like a manic "Stupid gaki zoning out" she cackles…. Seconds later Hidan bursts out laughing "FUCK FACE, TELL THE SHITTY BITCH!" I hear from the back rows… only just now realising I shouted that out… the rest of the room is silently glaring at me, especially the main proctor… the other proctors look amused at my little outburst… I do the one thing I can think of doing… I shut the genin up with a wave of killing intent and glare daggers at the proctor before threatening to skin kuri later for her little stunt…. She quickly shuts her fury trap and the other genin are wincing… Even the proctor seems a little uncomfortable but no way near as uncomfortable as the genin… hehehehehe… that's right bitches, DON'T FUCK WITH THE GREAT JUNKETSU MAKKA… THE POWER OF MY YOUTH IS UNRIVALED! I wonder if I said that, how many of the leaf genin and their jonin would cringe… might have to try it…

After my little 'i'm kill you if you don't stop glaring at me' moment, the exam begins… I have no idea what the rules are and I don't care… I can do this…

The heart beats of the genin around me are frantic… they're panicing? I begin to read my own sheet… ah… I see why they're panicing now… WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!? A code? The frickin test is in code… _IT'S LIKE GCSE FRENCH ALL OVER AGAIN!_ I THOUGHT I HAD LEFT THAT SHIT BEHIND IN MY PAST LIFE! _**AAAAAAAAGH!**_

Fuckin, shittin, bitch-ass whore, mother fucking…. JASIN DAMMED BASTARDS! I glare at the page almost willing it to burst into flames… It's just filled with a load of crappy symbols and squiggles… I stand corrected… this is EXACTLY like GCSE French all over again… why code it?

My eyes shift around the room to see everyone freaking out… well, nearly everyone… some of the mist genin seem to be powering through it… I get it… they've most likely been planted there… either that or they're trying to fail all the other villages for not knowing their coding sequences… or maybe to test code braking skills… this village is a prick… I can hear the smug sound of their blood… their chakra oozing confidence… I'll show you… Just like I showed Miss Ingolstone… old bitch of a French teacher…

Dude they're practically copying the leaf villages method… what a lack of fuckin imagination… couldn't they come up with anything better? … guess not…

My eyes shift to Kuri who is sitting on the table… she's looking back at me, her honey eyes have cottoned too… they scream revenge… I smirk at her and she smirks back. I secretly channel blood to the surface of my hand making it form words on my skin 'oi rat, how sneaky are ya?' her eyes flicker over the words and her smirk darkens all the more, eyes glinting dangerously… I focus more blood into my hand, changing the words on my skin 'I want you to go check out the mist genins answers, have a looks and report back. DON'T GET CAUGHT' She nods her head before disappearing, no smoke no noise, she just disappears into thin air.

A few of the other village genin have also cottoned onto the fact that there is something off here and are devising plans of action… my only concern is my team… once I get the answers I'll pass them on… somehow…

A few minutes later, Kuri is back looking smug. Her voice is low and near unhearable "Mist is cheating… they're code cracking with ease…" her claws scratch at the paper, leaving markings behind that match the question page, the markings referring to letters and spaces… what a useful rat she's turning out to be…

It's difficult but I get it… the hidden meanings becoming clear… the questions are relatively simple, nothing overly hard, any missing letters I can figure out from here…

I power through it, writing at high speed, my pencil gliding over the page much to the distaste of the proctors… FUCK YOU BUTT MUNCHERS! … I guess they do want to fail the other villages'… _cunts!_

Once I'm done, the tricky part comes… getting the message to them… I can't send Kuri, Yuki is up front and in direct sight of the head proctor so she'll be spotted while trying to help… no… I feel my blood push against my skin, willing it's way out of me… it's strange but… I have an idea… if it works we could pass this.

I release small amounts of blood into the air around us, allowing the cells to separate and become nothing more than a slightly metallic scent in the air, the cells too small to see with the naked eye… I direct them towards my team mates before getting them to gather and become a small pool of blood which I shape into words, to be precise the answers… I can feel their heartbeats, something I've been feeling since the beginning… slowly they begin to calm… their chakra speaking of relief… I on the other hand am struggling… my chakra control is _incredibly_ good for my age… but it's nearly been an hour of near constant manipulation, writing words under my skin, sending out my blood and then doing the painstaking job of having to manipulate my blood into hundreds of tiny words out of my body… I'm getting low on chakra and it's hard to maintain concentration… usually I'd have recalled my bloody by now but I need to keep it out…just a little longer…

I wouldn't usually go to this length to help someone… however I know neither of my team members are the intelligence gathering type… our team is more of a frontal assault you send in after you have gathered info, we weren't brought together to gather Intel, we just don't have that kind of training… We're just lucky Kuri is good at it… I dread to think of what would have happened otherwise.

We don't have long until the end, about 10 minutes, Yuki's hand stopped moving ahead of me so I with draw the blood, and soon after Kuri signals than Hidan has also stopped and also withdraw from there… Just in time, any longer and I'd be completely drained.

"Alright kiddies~" oh my god he's talkin **again**! I swear to all things unholy he loves the sound of his own voice… DAMMIT, STOP ZONING OUT! "You must decide now, to either answer the question or not… but remember what you decide affects your team mates, only 2 of each team will pass and the other will be unable to take the chunin exam again, if you drop out now you can try again later"

hold the phone, say what now mist bitch? This is where they've deviated slightly… if I remember correctly, in Naruto's chunin exam it was if you failed you could never take the exam again but your friends could still pass even if you failed and if you decided to take the question and fail you couldn't take the exam again, no mention of negative repercussions on the team or only 2 of you being able to pass…. Here it's 1 of us will fail no matter what… effectively sacrificing a team mate for our own good… WHAT THE SATAN!? I HAVE NO IDEA!

I know there's a trick here but I can't tell where…

I feel my inside constrict… From my understanding to abandon a team mate is frowned upon, however the shinobi rulebook says otherwise, that the mission comes first… the leaf believe in the bond of teams… the mist, well… I'm not sure… Mei would believe more in the leaf ideology… but the puppet Yagura… I have no idea… CURSE YOU MASASHI KISHIMOTO! NOT GOING INTO ENOUGH DETAIL ABOUT THE OTHER HIDDEN VILLAGES!

I have faith I could pass the question on my own, I could beat the odds and pass however, the idea of loosing Hidan and him being unable to take the exam again shakes me… we have a promise to uphold and if he can't take the exam ever again it puts us at a distinct disadvantage in keeping it… there is a 50/50 change either Hidan would fail, Yuki is kinda smart when she wants to be and had fair marks during our academy days… I don't want Hidan to fail

I spin backwards, making eye contact with Hidan's magenta. He stares into my eyes before smirking at me, his eyes holding his answer to my silent question… Most people wouldn't trust another to help make their decision however, Hidan is more than just a team mate… he's my best friend, one of my precious people… I have faith in him…

No matter the outcome… we'll do it… together…

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**AN:/:**

**Cliff hanger ahoy!**

**Heres the game, I'm gunna let you guys vote weather or not Junketsu takes the question... his fate hands in the ballance of your decisions, either PM or review to play... You'll find out what happens in chapter 30... hehehehehe... choose wisely...**


	30. Answers and Favourite

**Chapter 30: Answers and Favourite**

One by one hands begin to rise, the small whines of team mates apologising to their friends, saying their sorry or that they can't bring themselves to sacrifice their own or their friends futures… some teams respond kindly, telling their friend it's alright, that they'll try again next year or they were about to raise their hands any way… other teams react badly, calling their friends weak and stupid, stating that their team mate has ruined their chances… through everything going on around me, I'm still staring into those confident magenta eyes, we have decided… even if we are wrong we'll at least be wrong together… those magenta eyes shine with their promise to me, their promise for us… we're going to be great…

Slowly I turn away with a nod to Hida, focusing on the panicked Yuki up front, desperately looking back at us for any indication of our actions. I stare into her amber eyes and give her a smile, conveying our plan… Her eyes shine with understanding and nerves before turning away… she's in too… we all have decided…

Kuri remains silent on the desk, looking between the three of us for answers, she hasn't been around us long enough to entirely understand our silent eye conversations, at least not entirely so she's out of the loop, she's looking to me to know but I remain silent while refusing to return her gaze.

More hands raise, many leaf genin giving in to the pressures. Their villages ideology being that abandoning their comrades makes them worse than the scum who abandon their missions, their sensei's hammering teamwork into them as soon as they get their hands on the apprentice ninja… it's a no brainer that they would drop out, their comrades are precious to them and they'll try and protect them no matter the cost… nobel but also risky… those who worry about their comrades too much end up dead in a pool of their own blood… their must be a balance between loyalty to your comrades and loyalty to the mission… too much of either one ends with casualties…be it those you care for or you yourself…

The proctors sharp eyes drift around the room, many have left, easily over half have given in… the room looks pretty bare…3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21 … 21 people makes 7 teams… there was neatly 70 to start with… under a third remain and none of their eyes look none too confident about remaining…

I feel the palms of my hands sweat with nerves… if we're wrong about this, our shinobi careers could be in jeopardy… the silence others hear must be unbearable but the panicked thumbing of their frantic little hearts is near deafening to me, their blood is crying out in terror… I can't take the noise…

"Come on Kiddies, are you confident you can win this? If your not I'd just drop out and come back next year… either way another third of you will be failing… do you really believe you can beat the odds here?" the main proctor taunts from the front of the room, his common features twisting into a malevolent smirk, his eyes speaking of the pleasure of making the us genin suffer… _Must. Resist_… fuck it I have no self control~

"What kind of coward would back down now? Shinobi conduct states that the mission comes first, no matter the sacrifice, be it yourself or your team mates, this is no fuckin different, this shit test is our mission and should be treated accordingly… grow a fuckin back bone brats, even if you fail there are other ways of getting promoted" I purr loud enough for the other genin and proctors to hear. I can't stop the dark smirk which has etched itself onto my features as I run my fingers through my uncontrollable purple hair while I stare confidently into the main proctors eyes, His eyes staring right back into my pinkie red… he's such a back ground character even his eyes are a generic brown… Mr generic the boring background sadist…

**I DID A NARUTO!** Though it's more of a insult speech than a motivational one… hell it's getting the same effect, if any more drop out it would be boring. Hands have stopped raising and I can tell from their slowing heart beats that they've committed themselves to seeing this through now for fear of being branded a coward by a kid so much younger than themselves. **I'm just **_**that**_** cool…**

My insult speech was waaaay more awesome than Naruto's motivational one could even dream of being… hold on, technically I copied him but since I'm a year older than him and taking the exam 6ish years before him… doesn't that mean he copied me?

…I think I've murdered the logical side of my brain… that and apparently my head is firmly up my ass today with all the self praising… DIE INFLATING EGO, DIE! I REFUSE TO BE LIKE SAS-**UKE**! _**NEVER!**_

The proctors eyes look around the room one more time "Are you sure you want to listen to a little kid? He's just a brat"… brat… brat…. BRAT!? WHO'S THAT OLD FART CALLIN BRAT!? I ain't no fuckin brat no matter what the rabbit whore says! I should rip his fuckin throat out!

Kuri is sprawled out on the table before me, pounding her front paws on the wood of the desk in laughter "HAHAHA, he called you a 'brat' gaki!" however she suddenly disappears only to reappear to kick the main proctor in the balls with her demonic rat strength causing him to double over in agony letting out a high pitched squeak **"NO ONE CALLS MY GAKI SUMMONER A BRAT BUT ME!" **she hisses with a dark glare as she lands another strike across his jaw, her back legs, though small are a fuckin strong and do a lot of damage when they connect… I almost feel sorry for the bastard… Almost…

The rat reappears on my desk, front paws crossed in front of her small body with her head held high and long ears laying back against her skull and body while she pouts with her eyes closed "Stupid mist gaki insulting my gaki summoner" she huffs in annoyance… it's fine for her to insult me but the second anyone else does she deems it wrong… DOUBLE STANDARD OR WHAT! Sheesh, I will never understand this she-rabbit or girls in general… they're all weird…and that's coming from an EX female for Christ's sake, that's just how complicated they are!

After a few minutes of agonised squeaking from the main proctor, he manages to compose himself though he's still guarding his crown jewels with his hands in fear of another rat attack. "As I was saying~" He squeaks, voice several octaves higher than it was before the assault on his manhood. I find it hard not to laugh but manage to settle for a slightly smug smirk, though I can hear the distinct sniggering of Hidan behind me. The proctor coughs tryin to stop the high squeaky sound of his voice but with no luck "This is your last chance to quit"

No one so much as flinches, the torturous illusion which once struck fear into the hearts of the remaining genin was shattered into a million squeaking pieces after Kuri rat faces vicious attack on the mans stick and giggle berries which had most likely ruined his chances of having children. He is no longer the foreboding presence he once was; he's now a man who most likely has a deep seeded fear of rabbits after today's' events… I warn people rabbits are evil but no one ever listens… _**I WARN YOU BASTARDS, RABBITS ARE DEMONS IN FLUFFY JACKETS! **_

The head proctors eyes gaze around once more before he sighs "Well I guess I have to tell you that… you pass~" His announcement cut short by cries of confusion from the remaining genin… so they did copy the Hidden Leaf Village… HOW BORING! Sheesh, can't anyone come up with original ideas? Do they all copy each other or something? And I though this would be harder. The second test better be good or so help me Jashin I'm going to murder someone! _I want a challenge!_

"What do you mean we pass, where's the final question?!" comes an unknown males screech behind me. DAMMIT SHUT UP AND LET THE OLD FART EXPLAIN HIMSELF! The main proctor seems just as annoyed as me, his fingers inching towards his shuriken holster… the action seems to shut everyone up, thank hell. Mr generic proctor lets out a growl of "interrupt me again and one less team will be making it through to the second exam, got it brat" before turning to address the entire room "As I was saying earlier, you pass… the mission comes before yourself and your team mates so choosing to take the question proves your loyalty to your mission and your village. If you were one of the cowards who left, you'd have been unworthy of the shinobi name as a shinobi is a tool to be used by the village and discarded if deemed broken or useless… you are at your villages disposal and have no right to refuse a mission… the second exam will begin tomorrow at 8am sharp, be there on time or you'll automatically fail… further details will be provided by your sensei, get out my sight before I change my mind" he snarls, eyes gleaming with annoyance as he stares down Kuri who in retaliation slams a back leg on my desk, cracking the wood… note to self, never let Kuri kick me below the belt… EVER!

The room begins to empty as the passing teams leave and I stand to leave only to be jumped from behind, my body spinning before contact so my back slams against the table "HELL YEAH FUCK FACE! KNEW WE'D FUCKIN MAKE IT!" Hidan cheers with a smirk, our noses nearly touching. I smile at him brightly "Of course Hida, we're gunna be great right?" I ask knowingly to which his smirk spreads "fuckin famous!" he confirms with a nod, magenta eyes sparkle in the weird way they do…

"YAOI!" comes an all too familiar squeal, however a chorus of girlish giggles backs it up… no… For the love of all things unholy don't tell me…

I spin my head, looking over to the unbearable noise to find not only Yuki but also a swarm of girls with nosebleeds, blushed to holy hell and giggling about boy love… FAN GIRLS! I THOUGHT WE WERE SAFE HERE!

I grab Hida's wrist and jump out a nearby open window, a stampede of squealing banshees in hot pursuit. I leave Kuri behind; the bitch can look after herself, I'm concerned with self-preservation!

We dart through the trees looking for somewhere to hide, anywhere… the world whizzes past at break neck speeds as the mist silently blankets the world helping us to evade the psychos. Hidan is hissing about sacrificing them but he's also running for his life… hell knows what'll happen if we're captured!

My eyes lock on a nearby river and my brain shouts at me to hide. I make hand signs making water clones of Hidan and myself before yanking Hidan into the river, pulling him under the surface.

The water is cold but clear as I watch my clones run off into the trees, the girls don't notice the difference and follow them blindly… I wait a few moments, looking to Hidan who is watching the surface carefully.

Soon enough my lungs plead for oxygen and I have no choice but to resurface, Hidan following shortly. I breathe hard as I break the surface, Hidan panting harshly "What's fuckin wrong with bitches, wherever we go they go fuckin crazy!" He hisses while glaring off in the direction the swarm of girls disappeared in. I smile at him "I guess we just have sex appeal, put the image of us screwing in their heads and they turn into rabid animals" I joke playfully, earning a snort from my zealot friend as his head snaps to the side to look at me his cheeks blushed "and you call me a fuckin pervert" He grumbles and I giggle "because you are one, wouldn't change ya though… you're my silver haired zealot pervert at the end of the day" I smile, his cheeks darkening and a slightly goofy smile lights up his features… Dammit! In my old life I'd have jumped him, he looks fuckin adorable all wet and smiley with that embarrassed blush because I wouldn't change him. He's my best friend; of course I wouldn't change him.

We haul ourselves onto the bank before collapsing on the grass, side by side, while staring up into the misty sky. We're soaked to the bone; the cold air sending shivers darting up and down my spine as it reacts with the water cooling my skin.

I sit up and untie my red fabric belt around my waist and pulling off my purple over shirt with red trim and wringing it out as best I can. The netted shirt beneath isn't a big issue at they don't really absorb water due to the material. My shorts are soaked but there's no way I'm stripping in a public place. I hear movement beside me as Hidan yanks of his black shirt before throwing it "Shirts fuckin suck, I fuckin give up with em'!" He grumbles I chuckle slightly before ruffling my fingers through my hair and shaking like a dog trying to get as much water out as possible. Hidan on the other hand just sweeps it back… at that moment I can see Shippuden Hidan, shirtless and his silver hair swept back, it's kind of haunting to think what he's going to turn into… I almost forgot that my Hidan will be that Hidan in a few years…

Magenta eyes look into mine and his face contorts with concern "Hey, you alright Ketsu?" he asks softly… what's going to happen in a few years? He's going to be in the Akatsuki, and me? I've no idea… we'll be separated… that much is certain… our days are numbered…

The thought makes my eyes burn as they threaten to overflow with bitter tears, the idea of not being with him hurts, as if I'm being torn apart from the inside… the mere thought of loosing him making my chest ache with a near unbearable pain. "I, it's nothing Hida~" I mumble but my voice breaks when I say his name and tears silently roll down my cheeks… I don't want to loose him, the bond we share, that smile, those magenta eyes… him…

My body is on autopilot and I move forward and wrap my arms around his neck and nuzzling into his shoulder as my legs straddle his hips. His skin is warm against mine and his heartbeat is fast…. I don't want to loose this…

I feel him shift as his arms wrap around my waist and pull me closer "Ketsu?" he mumbles softly and it burns, this Hidan… he's precious to me, more than my kaa-san and tou-san… I wouldn't mind if they disappeared as long as Hidan was still with me… but soon he's going to leave me…

I breathe hard against his shoulder, that metallic bloody smell easing my pain… he's with me now at least… he's mine for now…

His skin is soft against mine as I turn my head into his neck "Hida… no matter what… your always going to be my favourite" I mumble quietly against his skin, my fingers tracing unknown shapes into his shoulders and top of his back. I feel him shiver and his arms tighten around me possessively. I feel his damp hair tickling my shoulder and neck and his warm breath rippling across the shell of my ear "you're my favourite too" he whispers tenderly, barely loud enough to hear, only for me to know…

I feel my skin tingle and my heart beat a little harder against my rib cage. Those words making my entire body feel warm.

God knows how long we stayed like that… it could have been hours or minutes as time seemed to slow, the world could explode for all I care… I wouldn't mind dieing like this… with him…

When we gently untangle ourselves from one another his eyes look into mine, that spark of unreadable emotion that used to hide itself has been lingering since this morning and seems to grow every passing second. I like it.

He smiles at me and I smile back "Sorry about that Hida…" I mumble softly and he chuckles slightly "no fuckin problem… how bout we go eat? My treat?" he purrs warmly and I smile brightly and nod. "Sure"

I know we won't always be together… but his eyes always say otherwise… I want to believe in those eyes… I want to always be with him, even if it means having to walk a path I don't want too… even if… I have to change a few things… I'm not going to loose this… I'm not going to loose him…


End file.
